一千年以前

AIMST AIMST AIMST... haih... quite a lot of activities... Curricular wise, presentations, tutorials, bla bla bla... Otherwise, went to Tupah, Tanjung Dawai and Lembah Bujang with Ken, King Ming, Michelle, Hui Ci, and Kai Liang... I have been socialising around quite fine though not really at the optimum level. I came to AIMST with a new life, free from P-life. I decided to keep one side of my dual personality a secret in AIMST. I thought of leaving all my past back in KL. I thought nobody in AIMST would know my split personality save Zen Chia... how careless I was to let my sis and bro: Hui Ci & King Ming found out. Initially, I was in fear. I fear that after knowing about my P-life, they would react differently. I had been quite close to King Ming and Hui Ci already and I do not wish for my bond with them to disintegrate but my carelessness betrayed me...

I hate my life now... I'm not enjoying every second of it... I kind of regret coming here to AIMST. EVERYTHING IS LIKE AGAINST ME!!! GET LOST! I WANT TO BE WITH MY FRIENDS WHERE I CAN LIVE FREELY WITHOUT HAVING TO HIDE MY DUAL PERSONALITY!!! I'm feeling down... I'm beginning to hate everything... I hate myself the most! I have such P-Life... Many things go against my will... I couldn't move to my friend's unit... and comes one CBbin (CB face) a.k.a. Magneto a.k.a. Magnet a.k.a. Flying Fox a.k.a. Bird Legs... CB! PK! LC! STEWPID CBkia! USELESS CHRISTIAN... Strong Christian, kononnya... What a disgrace he is to Christianity... The Bible condemn some activities but the Bible does not condemn the people who lived a P-life! hey, CBbin, go back and do your homework before commenting on something ok? It is a disaster, I'm not the only one who finds him irratating. Others include Phiaw Chong's friends, most AIMST Chinese students, Khim Yik, Ken and King Ming. However, the real disaster is, Michelle has good impressions on him... Hey, CIBAIBIN! I tell you, you'll not understand the feelings on those living a P-Life, so don't condemn us! You're going against us! YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND US SO DON'T JUST FOLLOW THE BOOK WITHOUT BEING PRACTICAL!!! CIBAIBIN!

ENOUGH of HIM! if I continue, I would end up giving my laptop screen a knuckle duster! Had I got a chance to fight with him, I would fight till my last breath, even if I were to one being defeated or even if it costs me my life! Such people, NO! Such ANIMALS! hmm... no... Such COLD-BLOODED ANIMALS do not get much respect... least of all from me! Other Christians do not condemn the people, not like you! shame on you! CIBAIBIN! CIBAIKIA! GET LOST!

I want to go back to KL and study there... I miss you all... I love you all!!! NO! I don't want to stay here! I cannot let you all go! I thought I've let go of my friends in KL, CB-Sakais and P-Life in KL... I thought I have made it... but... I can't... I cannot let all of these go... I can't let go... It is all coming back to me... and It brings me back to the past!... Take me back with you... Take Me Home...

一千年以后

Well, I'm adapting to life at AIMST... basically, what I learn there are most what I've already learnt save Physics. Chemistry... muhaahahahaha... I am going to master Chemistry there thanks to my love for the subject and Dr. Thet: Chichibabin Reaction... Biology... Well, some basic cell biology and physiology I'm already quite familiar with, thanks to year 1 Pharmacy and Ms. Wong Kuan Yau... Other than that, everything is well... I even prayed to the hungry ghost spirits during the middle of the 7th moon, in AIMST Semeling Campus...

Haih... She left... My great grandmother... she left... but it is also a good thing... she need not suffer any longer... the 14th of August 2006 would be her funeral and all of us have to wear red as she is over a hundred years of age... She left on the 10th of August 2006 at around 9:40 a.m. and at that time, I was on my way to AIMST to attend Mr. Hoe's lecture. I had a funny feeling inside me and I felt like my stomach was not comfortable, but it wasn't because of stomachache. I ignored that feeling though I should have figured out something happened to my great grandmother as the night before, my mother mentioned in her e-mail that my great grandmother was back to the condition when she was in the hospital and Aunt Gaik Bee told me that my great grandmother was in critical condition. I had in mind that that weekend, I would want to go back and pay her a visit.

However, on that evening itself while waiting for Mr. Temudhu to start his lecture, my cousin, Chu Chai, called me and asked for my mother's mobile phone number. I gave him her number without further thinking what may the cause be. After ending the call, something bothers me suddenly. I began to think: why did he asked for my mother's mobile phone number? They could have easily called her office number, and my mother seldom uses her mobile phone. She hardly switches on her phone. So, I sent Chu Chai an SMS saying that he could reach my mother by calling to her office, and in that message, I asked him what was going on. As I suspect, Chu Chai replied:

Guess you still don't know...

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Great grandma has gone up to heaven to find great grandpa...

I asked when she left and they said in the morning. She drew her last breath when I felt uneasy... I was stunned though expected. I could not describe on what I was going through that time. My vision widened but everything seemed to blend into 2-dimention. The chattings and screamings of my classmates in the lecture hall began to fade as if blending to a standard volume regardless of the loudness and distance. I felt light instead of heavy. She left... I didn't get to see her on last time. Friday came and I went back to Penang and I gave Chew Weng a lift to Penang to his aunt's place. I went to Pulau Tikus straight away and I saw that some people were already there. Gwen helped me with the joss stick and Aunt Bee Choo asked me whether I would want to look at great grandma. I looked into the coffin and saw a familiar face. Instead of a dead person's face, I saw an old lady sleeping peacefully. There was no fear in anybody's eyes. I attended the ceremony which lasted for five days. only the second night and the fourth night was I there. I planned to attend her funeral on Monday, 14th of August 2006 but my father said it doesn't matter since I have already paid respect to her on the second and fourth night. He insisted on me going back to Semeling to study, but I don't feel so... She loved me, though not the most but she still loved me. She had been over a hundred years old and she was my last existing great grandparent.

Her funeral was different from the usual black and white ones. Since she was over a hundred years old, all have to wear red and all shall not cry. However, before parading, the band played the 'Mother' song and some started crying. I found it hard to hold back my tears also. Then came the parade. I was to drive my car in case my grandfather couldn't walk further and my task was to fetch him as well as my grandmother and grandaunt. Everything came to an end though and after the funeral and cremation, all paraders have to head back to Pulau Tikus for 'cleansing'. After cleansing, we went back home and I travelled back to SP, ready for the next day's class in AIMST.

So passes my great grandmother...

心跳乱了节奏
梦也不自由
爱是个绝对承诺不说
撑到一千年以后
放任无奈淹没尘埃
我在废墟之中守着你走来
我的泪光承载不了
所有一切你(需)要的爱
因为在一千年以后
世界早已没有我
无法深情挽着你的手
浅吻着你额头
别等到一千年以后
所有人都遗忘了我
那时红色黄昏的沙漠
能有谁
解开缠绕千年的寂寞。。。

aiyoh... phai mia bo lang cai...

tsk tsk tsk... after a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time without blogging, here I return again... fortunately & unfortunately, many things happened within this month... Long time no talk to Jean already... miss him so much... now he doesn't care about me anymore... sob sob...

Anway, after losing the battle with the Cold-Blooded Animal, I retreated back to Penang. Some people knows my story... others, don't... Well, all was well until my great grandmother (which is my mother's grandmother, or my grandmother's mother, or my great grandmother) fell quite sick of breathlessness and cough. She seemed weaker than before. So, she was admitted into Glenegles Medical Centre. My grandmother, who knew my great grandmother who was sick, travelled out to Penang from Thailand without me knowing it and I was kind of surprised to see her.

My great grandmother was admitted into the hospital on Saturday, 1st of July 2006 and stayed there for about two and a half weeks. In this two weeks, I realised and did a lot of things. Of things I realised really hurt and disappoint me. Someone I have been respecting and adored since I was young did something unacceptable. Of what, I am not permitted to tell. It was quite a tiring, busy and disappointing week. The disappointing news mostly came from the stewpid fellow's family, and I was rejected from ICT from doing Pharmacy there. However, fun was around also. Canoeing... with my friends. Lots of nonsenses all of us did... Then, I went for a hair cut with Zen Chia. Since she was doing rebonding, I got my hair dyed. I wanted it red but Zen Chia opposed... In the end, I asked for the hairstylist's opinion and in the end, I chose red with dark brown. I liked the colour anyway.

Well, towards the end of my great grandmother's stay in the hospital, I helped taking care of her since I do not have anything to do. Then came my uncle Tin Tin from Thailand. They came on Sunday, 9th of July 2006. Then, upon sending them home, my mother suggested that we go to AIMST to ask about the Pharmacy course there. Since I thought I was going to do Pure Chemistry in UTAR, so I was against the idea of going to AIMST. I was reluctant to go because I had in mind that I am not meant to do Pharmacy, and since I missed many episodes of the Hokkien series of Hock Kooi Cai Thi (富贵在天) because of that STEWPID UNCLE, I didn't want to miss this part also.

Well, as usual, I cannot get myself a seat in the Pharmacy programme. I have to undergo the stewpid foundation thingy and qualify for it. After hearing that, I felt that I am doomed. My parents couldn't possibly afford that, and I had prepared to let go of Pharmacy and started builing interest in Pure Chemistry. However, surprisingly, they asked me to decide on it. Now I am in a big dilemma... AGAIN! I hate it... cb! cb! cb! pk! pk! pk! Pharmacy is what I really want to do. Chemistry is my love. Pharmacology is my interest. Medicinal Chemistry is my passion. Pharmacotherapy is my life. However, it would cost me five years to be in SP to become a Pharmacist. I have already wasted three years of my life (2 in form 6, 1 in degree). My close friends are no longer in Penang. Most are in KL... but there is Zen Chia in SP... but she has her own 'family'... P life in KL would be way better compared to SP.

At least if I'm doing Chemistry in UTAR Setapak, then I could visit the CB-Sakai Gang in Cheras, Geok Im in PJ, Jon in Sg Long, and other close ones more frequently. P life would be so much easier and P friends are more there in KL. If I were to go to AIMST, I have a feeling I would be the oldest there. Although there are STPM leavers, there could not possibly be a diploma leaver in the foundation programme. I bet nobody has ever done a degree or got into a degree programme there in the foundation programme also... Stewpid! I'm going to be the old bird there... NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After much thought, I decided to continue in the Pharmacy line because it is my dream being a Pharmacist. Though I'll be the old one there... though I'll be far from most of my CB-Sakai Family... though I'll be away from Ms. Saw, Ms. Wong and Dr. Thet... though I'll be barred from P life... But I chose this path... even though I may regret...

Then I had to apply to get into the foundation programme, and I had to go back to KL and settle a few things like PTPTN and withdrawal from UCSI! I drove down. Mana tau... dat stewpid cousin of mine needs help to masuk rumah... My plan was to go down KL to settle things as well as to visit several places as I would not be back that frequent anymore. Eh, STEWPID COUSIN, if you have any bad impression on me also I do not care. You are the worst among your siblings! Anyway, leave her aside. Don't spoil this nice blog. I've got many things to write... Way too many... Cannot waste on her! Had dinner wtih the CB-Sakai people on Friday, then yum cha on Sunday. On Monday, I visited Jon in Sg Long. Talked to him for a while only since he was quite busy. Tuesday, settle the stewpid PTPTN thing... Wednesday went sing K and Pasar Malam... as well as visiting Ms. Wong, Ms. Saw and Dr. Thet... Then Thursday came back to Penang. Sunday went to SP, then Monday went to AIMST...

Haiyoh... phai mia bo lang cai... the hostel... really... lame... orientation was boring... as usaul, first day I'm being quite an antisocial... 希望可以认识到华人... second day also quite antisocial... third day at least got socialise a little bit... fooh! quite far behind everybody else... well... it is not as I expected but it is way worse than I expected. Hostel memang teruk macam beruk... Anyway, first few people I knew there were: Soo Huan, Siew Leng, Ada, Alex, Chee Chung, King Ming, Yann Yuan, Phiaw Chong, Ken, Khim Yik, Say Hong, Ravi, Adam, Chevyn, Dinash, Cal, Wei Ci, Kalai, Anis, siapa lagi ah? ah... tak tau lah...

Sia Chin... Soon Yee... Sing Shia... Sue Zin... Wen Chian... Poh Leen... Jen Ni... Ah San... Wei Fuen... Kan Mi... Kheng Kheng (Michelle)... Nee Nee (Sok Nee)... TeoChew nang buey hiao tna TeoChew ue (Pei Wee)... Nong kia (Selyn)... Wei Nei... Mei Mei... Kit Kit/Kitty (Mun Kit)... Kuan Poh... Seng Chew... Hui Zhong... Hwee Feng... Thomas... Chun Wei... Yong Wei... Jivan... Jason... Chyi Ing... Joycee... Irwinder... Loges... Melissa... Suk Yen... Kien Ching... Kee Shiuen... Joyce... Wai Yee... Li Ying... Min Min... Kristine... Belinda... Christina... Jin Ling... Mahmood... Ezra... Min Han... Yew Kheng... Teng Fung... Vivian... San San...see you all practising as Pharmacists in the future... and not forgetting Kelvin, Leena and Crystal... also Audrey... Janaki... Siow Yen... Allen... great to know you guys... Ms. Wong, Ms. Saw and Dr. Ther... see you all soon... muakzzzzzzz....

Pening!~ Pening!~ Woo~

Saturday 17th June 2006. It has been 24 hours since I last heard Jean's voice. Hope he is not angry and is having a great time with his friend... hehe... Yesterday, I visited the doctor in Lam Wah Ee hospital. Stupid doctor, ask him to give me Amoxicillin he doesn't want! Give me a more expensive one! Haih... When I paid and collected the medication, my mother scolded me again. She said the medications were available at home and I should have only requested for the antibiotic Erythromycin. Come on la! First, hey! I am sick ok? Don't simply scold scold scold! Second, I didn't know that those medications are available at home! I just came back from KL for a month only! Third, you scolded me once when I told the doctor that we have this and that at home! NOW WTF?!!! PENING!!!

At night, couldn't sleep... Online until 1 a.m. then went to sleep. 4 a.m., woke up to take medication. I felt nauseated and I vomited not only once, but twice! The other time was at around 5:30 a.m.. I suddenly felt hungry, so I cooked instant noodles and ate at 6 a.m.... what a breakfast. Then I took another can of 100plus. Then after that, I went back to my room to read a novel. Suddenly my mother came in asking me how I felt and I told her I'm fine. She asked me whether I need someone to accompany or not, I told her no need. I have been alone all the times and even when I am sick in KL, I was alone, always. Then I slept. The phone rang at 10 a.m. and I would have ignored it but I was afraid it might be from my mother. If I did not pick up the call, not only she would be angry but worried, so I exerted myself to pick up the call... and it was really from her... 謝天謝地。。。 But... I couldn't sleep anymore and my head is like spinning round and round... just like a drunken crane... aiyoh! PENING!!!

Sometimes, I wonder why I always choose the harder way of life when life could be simple. When I looked back, I realised, there were many simpler paths I could have taken but I chose tougher ones... I felt so stupid. I could have done London Modular A-Levels but I went to Form 6. I got an offer in UMS for Industrial Chemistry but I chose to remain studying Pharmacy. Of all courses, I chose to do Pharmacy (with my CGPA like this, how dare I!). I chose Pharmacy over Medicine - stupid! Of all sciences, my favourite is Chemistry - stupid! So difficult still I can love the subject so much!!! Learning music... why did I choose the Violin... the second hardest instrument to learn... why I love the Violin so much? aiyoh... so lame... Not regrets, but felt a bit stupid.... arghhh! PENING!

ah! PENING PENING PENING PENING!!!!!!!!!

Down...

I can't believe it, tell me I'm dreaming that we are still we.

It was amazing, said you were lucky that you found me.

It was a rainy day that we met, you didn't have a place to go.

As we just met so lets go slow but no, you just told me to keep you from the cold.

Sorry I can't take it, why did you fake it, why did we kiss?...

Thursday, 15th June 2005. Today was Zen Chia's birthday and she treated us at Bayu Seaview, just next to Naza hotel. Ai Ling and Jo-Dee planned to buy her a present before going there and we went to Gurney Plaza to hunt for a present for Zen. I was sick today when I woke up from my sleep, so I could not stand the air-condition in Gurney Plaza. So after getting Zen one present, while Dee and Ai Ling went for another, I went to McDonalds to have something since I was hungry also. Then I strolled along Gurney Place. At least the temperature there comforts me. However, it was boring, so I finally ended up in MPH. I took two books with me - Pharmacotherapy Casebook and Biopharmaceutics & Pharmacokinetics, to the MPH Readers' Circle. Suddenly, the White Lady Sue Zin SMSed me asking me what is malignant hyperthermia. So, I went to look for a Medical Dictionary. I thought there was nobody there but as I approached, I saw a tall, handsome young man in black. So I could not actually SMS Sue Zin there but on my way back to the Readers' Circle, Dee and Ling called out my name and I just SMSed Sue Zin there ignoring everyone around.

We left for Bayu at 6:00 p.m. and we arrived there the earliest - at 6:16 p.m.. I called Zen but she said she had to fetch Stephenie and Wendy and she asked me to entertain everyone that came earlier than she did. Erm... actually, everyone came before she did save Chee Howe. Dee, Ai Ling and I were the earliest followed by Amah (Ching Mei), Chun Hoong, Jonathan, and Chen Seng. Jason and Janice reached before Ewe Yang, Pei Ling and Boon Peng followed by Guat Kheng and her sister, Guat Ching then Chin Chin the 'Singapore Girl', then Stella, her sister, Evan and Leroy. Finally, after more than an hour shceduled to begin, the birthday girl, Zen, arrived with Stephenie and Wendy. Zen wore a black top and light yellow-orche skirt. Glamourous she looked and if you were there, you should see how she walked. She had a new ear-rings on as well.

When the dinner kicked off, I felt as if I wanted to faint because I was really not feeling well. My whole body felt extra sensitive to the air and surroundings. I just sat beside Dee and Boon Peng. I did not really eat and I just drank. Apparently, I thought of leaving earlier and rest at home but it was Zen's 21st birthday, Zen's! Then it would be better to leave after she blew her birthday cake candles. Zen, well, we were enemies when we first met in Form 1. Then we peaced and became basic normal friends in Form 4. In Form 6, we got to know each other better. Then, after Form 6, she became one of my top circle of friends. I am so thankful to God that He sent her to me, and I am also thankful to her that I could actually say anything stupid with herand share all sorts of things, even P stuff. Thank you Zen for accepting me for who I am.

I thought I could have a phone conversation with Jean before Jean's friend from KL goes to his place to overnight for two nights which means, Jean wouldn't have time to chat with me then. I thought of calling Jean but I was afraid that Jean would ask me to hang up the phone because it is quite expensive. So I just SMSed Jean saying that I would not be home that early and asked Jean to sleep first. Jean suddenly SMSed me asking me, 'you're not online?' I replied that I'm still in CSC. Well, there were basically four groups of people there: the Hamid Khan people: Ai Ling, Jo-Dee, Guat Kheng and Guat Ching and Boon Peng joined this group. PFS 6AD: Chun Hoong, Chen Seng, Jonathan, Jason, Janice. PFS 6AD+6AC: Evan, Leroy, Stella, Amah, Steph, Wendy, Chin Chin, Chee Howe. Another is the couple Ewe Yang and Pei Ling. What a noisy night it was and the photo session was kind of a havoc.

Chee Howe brought alcohol there and many drank it. Ewe Yang saw me being quite 'steam' so he asked me whether I drank or not and I told him no. He said I look drunk and I told him I was not feeling well. When it comes to my turn to take photo with Zen, my phone rang - "sarang hae-yo... means I love you... 代表著我... 離不開你...". It was from Jean! I thought: OMG... I received Jean's call and I asked Zen to wait for a while. I thought she would be angry but her physical face appearance was cool, so it was fine to speak to Jean as I will not be able to receive Jean's call for some time later. After the photo session, we asked Zen to bring out her cake and blow the candles. Then, shortly after that, we left home. I sent Dee, Ai Ling, Steph and Wendy home and finally I reached home. I felt light. I ascended the flight of stairs to my room and felt as if i'm floating. I bathed because my hair was applied with wax and I could not possibly sleep with the wax on. After bathing, I left the bathroom and I shivered like hell. Ascending the flight of stairs this time is not of lightness but of heaviness. I shivered the whole way through to my room. Though the shiver wasn't as bad as the ones I had before but it might have shown scale three on the Ritcher Scale.

Friday 16th June 2006. I took 1g of paracetamol and one difflam lozenge at 12 a.m. and went straight away to bed. Here, I felt much better than when I was in KL. When I was sick in KL, I couldn't sleep well. My skin was totally sensitive to touch and I was shivering. I hope there was someone next to me so that the body heat would keep me warm. I set an alarm to wake me up to take the next dose at 6 a.m.. I woke up but couldn't continue to sleep so I SMSed Jean greeting good morning as I know Jean would be up by then. Jean thought I wanted Jean to call me. So Jean called. I had not the mood to speak as my throat was hurting and I had to exert quite a bit to make my voice audible so we hung up the phone. Hope Jean is not angry...

And I'm just Down...

You've left me with a note without a sound...

I've figured I must stop being such a child...

You'll never know how much I've been around...

How my heart just frowns if you're Down...

I'll be your teddy bear I'll be your cloud...

I'll take you round and round...

And if you don't mind I could be your standing ground...

Even if that means I drown...

And baby that would be my one last vow...

熟能生巧

吹 風 就 感 冒， 淋 雨 就 發 燒， 有 礙 就 好。。。

Sunday, 11th June 2006... what a lame day... the night before, I chatted with a guy called Jin... woo... and my favourite X-Man is Jean Grey... had a great talk with him for more than 3 hours over the phone... Then, the next morning, I was awakened by my mother who suddenly came into my room to get something... aiyoh... why can't she just leave me alone? I mean... aiyah... refer to my previous blog... "Troubled Heart"...

Our plan was to visit my grand aunt (korr poh) in Butterworth... but... she could not find her angpow... so she instructed me to go later. My mother is like that: people must wait for her, but she cannot and must not wait for other people... I do not like this. She scolded me because I bought a RM4.60 1-litre orange juice the night before from 7 eleven. She did not even listen to my explaination and just kept on scolding. She is like this, everytime there is a thing to quarrel about, I always get scolded. There will not be a chance for me to explain a thing and she will keep on scolding to SATISFY HER ANGER! Even if i get the chance to explain, my reasons were treated as excuses and my excuses are not reasonable. She is never wrong, I am always wrong. Even if she does not understand one's situation, she acts like she does and she will reward me with a scolding.

Does she know how to teach a child? Does she understand me? When I was young, I was scared of her scoldings and hittings... but as I grew bigger, I get fed-up, used to it, and I began to hate it... Refering to the previous blog "Troubled Heart", I have lost all sense of love. My heart will not and never open to anyone else, not even my parents... Since the day She left, I felt I am left all alone. Although physically parents are around, mentally and spiritually, I do not feel so. They love me a lot, but what keeps me going on enduring with them is Respect... Slowly, as time goes by, I began to stop asking things from them, little by little. Many readers may think my problem is Communication, but no, you all do not and will never understand. I have had enough quarrels with them. Each time I bring out something, if they find it faulty, one thing only will be the response - SCOLD! WHEN WILL THIS EVER END??? I believe it will end... but will it end good? I don't think so.

Nowadays, they (especially my mother) keep asking me, why I treat them like stranger, must keep everything from them? I feel like answering them I do not feel they are like my family... Because, they keep scolding... I used to fear it... but I hate it now... My heart has a storm that will never quell. I do not feel comfortable when I think of them. When I am distant away from them, I feel better. I don't know, my heart is really closed to them. I do not think anything can open my heart anymore. I cannot think of one anymore. After scolding me, she compared me with the character (Tom) in I Not Stupid Too, saying that I am exactly like him, spoilt, stubborn, bad, and naughty... I was like: "Oh, ENOUGH!"

I could not take that anymore, so as she was ironing, I told her I wanted to go Air Itam. She asked me the reason I go there. I was about to answer her that I wanted to do something, but in the end, I said I wanted to visit someone. She asked me who, I just answered, someone la... I drove there, going up the hill towards Air Itam dam, passing by Kek Lok Si... I was on my way to visit Her... She lives in one of the building on the hillside. It was a long time since I last visited Her. I should have visited Her more often because She is the one I have in my heart. The one and only. None can surpass Her in my heart. My love is all for Her.

Ascending the hill, I realised something - I forgot to get something commonly for Her. Last time, when I visited Her, I would get flowers for Her. Sometimes when my father goes up with me there, he would bring oranges and apples for Her. My mother seems to hate Her a lot. I don't care whether my mother likes Her or hates Her, nothing can change my heart. She is the only one I love. NO OTHER! or at least She is second to none in my heart. Readers, you may think I am not being reasonable and you may think it is not right for me to feel this way, but, tell me, how would you feel if you're me? I am not one that loves someone because he/she gives me what I ask for. I am not one that treats someone nice because he/she does so to me. I am not one that likes someone because I can get benefits from him/her.

When I reached the building, I silented my phone and greeted those who lived there along with Her. When I saw Her, my heart was glad. Suddenly, I felt like my worries were gone. A smile was on my face though embaressment engulfed me as I did not bring anything for Her this time. She did not give any response other than a smile, which She always had done. She did not change at all since the last time I saw Her. She was exactly the same. She could not age. She was beautiful as before. She had Her white spectacles with her. I spoke to Her, asking Her how She was now, and telling Her how my life had been. However, I suddenly felt sad. I knelt. In front of Her. She continued to smile. I knelt down before Her, and tears started to flow - began to cry. I told Her everything. All I've gone through, studies, life, romance, parents, friends, etc. I told Her my feelings. I told Her what happened on that morning. I cried. I could not hold back my tears. She smiled.

I stopped crying and looked up at Her. She still smiled, beautiful, and sweet as ever and always... And I realised, She left, ten years ago. Ten years ago, when I was still in standard 4, She left. Why? Why did You leave me in this world? Why did You not take me along with You? I am alone in this world, with nobody I can turn to as comfortable as You. She was Mdm. Koay Siew Hoon, my Nanny since I was born. I called Her 'Mommy' and I loved Her as one. Readers, you may call me a traitor to my mother, what ever, I don't care! This is how I feel! Nothing can change it! Kill me if you want! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Any problems, I can go to Her and I do not have to feel bad about telling Her anything even though I had to tell Her about the P thing. She brought me up (yes, even though with my parents' money), She was the one that brought me up, with love and care and something none could ever have - understanding. I grew up with Her, with Her understanding. She taught me many things in life and about life with understanding. I do not wish to compare the way my parents brought me up, otherwise you readers would say that I am biased! She had cancer, fought, and lost.

Seeing Her white spectacles brought old memories, of sweet and bitter back to my mind. Tears began flowing in bulk this time and I cried out. I cried for Her. I wanted to be with Her. Many times I had asked Her to come to my dreams to meet me, but none ever happened. Does She not love me anymore? I don't care! I love Her! I wished she was still around, to guide me in my life. However, She had left. I am left in this life alone, lost without Her. Mommy!!!

After an hour there, I headed home, if not, my mother would scold me again, unleashing her anger at the same time. We had lunch at her colleague's wedding. Then left for Butterworth. Long time I had never seen my grand aunt. She became thinner, and notably weaker as she aged. We chatted about 2 hours there and my mother's cousin came to visit also. Seeing that cousin of my mother with her husband would have brought the rage of fire to my heart because they cheated my grandfather's money! However, that day, I had not the mood to do such things.

I drove home with my mother beside. As usual, she does not understand the condition of me driving and what is in my mind and she started scolding about how I drove and insisting that I drive HER way! I did not want to comment much as commenting would only make matters worse. She brought up the tale of I Not Stupid Too again and started nagging about teenagers today! Oh God... At night, I left for McDonalds Greenlane as Jin wanted to meet up. Well we had a great time there and he wasn't really a bad person. Or at least not as bad as I thought.

There is nothing for me here... Only Death...

世界上，什么都沒有了，Mommy, 配藥，愛情，朋友，什么都沒有了。。。 有些東西，誰也沒有辦法。。。

Troubled Heart...

sometimes... I wish that I would have another sibling! At least I would have someone of the same 'wave length' to talk to! To share my thoughts and feelings with... My mother is a very strict mother and my father is quite conservative... If I were to stray out of the line they set for me, they, particularly my mother, would teach me, but she would use her sinister anger which is very 'menggerunkan' to teach me. I can tell you, since I was young, I hated Sundays because she would be at home. When I was young, her presence would make me fear... I do not know why, but there would be great fear...

As I grew up, I am beginning to dislike the way she handle me and I hate lectures! She claimed that I am not afraid of her scoldings, so I suppose I am not afraid, but I dislike. I am really fed-up with all the scoldings and grumpy faces she and my father would give and show when I do something wrong... I just... don't like it... I know they love me a lot and I should not have such impressions towards them but I cannot help it. Each time I try to understand that I am wrong and I should accept whatever they say, I cannot do so... I feel very very very uncomfortable... and I feel rebellious...

This secret I will share with you... When I was a baby, I was taken care by a nanny in Air Itam called Mdm. Koay Siew Hoon... She is one I really love... I do not know why, but is this because she took care of me since I was young? Is it because I grew up with her? I felt more attached to her than anyone else... Even though I know my parents love me more than anyone else, I still feel that my nanny's love is greater and I love her greater than my parents... I am not a fillial son then... I have failed to be one... Then... one fateful day, when I was still in Primary School, she passed away because of cancer... That time, I felt like I have lost someone very close to me... Since then, I felt like I am on my own... even though my parents are still around... I felt lonely... And since I do not have siblings, I have no one else to turn to as that time, I was not socialable as my parents did not encourage me to socialise as they were afraid that I would become a bad kid... even I was not close to my cousins at that time...

So, since then, I rarely go to my parents if I have any problems, because, mostly, problems arise because I must have done something wrong. If they find out what I did wrong, there goes the volcano and earthquake... I would nearly say that I NEVER went to my parents for counsel... I found my own solutions of solving things until I grew older, when things get complicated, and when I am more socialable, I seek advice from school teachers and friends... I NEVER go to my parents... they would not be at the top of my list... If I had at least a sibling, I could have told him/her properly and share my thoughts (although I may have conflicts with him/her but at least someone of the same wave-length is with me)... And, another thing, if I have a sibling, at least I do not feel as pressuring as I am now because all hopes of my parents lie on me alone... If I had a sibling, I could have discussed many things with him/her regarding many things from parents to studies to life...

I can tell you that I really feel very relieved when my parents are not around... I can be my ownself if they are not around... I do not need to put on a mask... I do not need to argue with them... But they are my parents... and they love me a lot... more than many... But I'm afraid, I failed to show my appreciation and love to them... and I never will succeed...

My dreams of late were strange... What I dared say was I dreamnt of a young man, in his early twenties... he was shouting out loud... the waves would have made every single object give way to them unless it was a wall... even if it was a wall, a shock and a tremor will happen and the wall would be shaken... he was in a pool and there were water rings surrounding him as he shouted... His shout was just a plain shout... but a long lasting one... Suddenly, I had telepathy... and I read his thoughts... what I got was 'Pharmacy! Pharmacy! Pharmacy!'... What the dream meant, I could not interpret... even if I could, I dared not interpret...

I am quite sick of this dual personality of mine since I was young... since I was very young... I fought with defiance when I was younger... but I came to acceptance later... STR & PLU are the main ones... I cannot possibly reveal two together... I have revealed my dual personality to quite some people... but not all...

Journey Back Up North...

With the loss of my battle with the Cold-Blooded Animal (Dr. Yeong), I had a plan in my mind: to take up Pure Chemistry in UTAR... however, the May intake was over and I had to wait until January next year and also, I came across ICT offering USM Pharmacy in Penang. So, I decided to go back home to Penang together with my cousin, Emily. Her boyfriend, Foo, drove his uncle's car back to Penang and I followed them. We set out at 8:30 p.m. and got stuck in the jam for 1 hour, reaching Sungai Buloh Hanging Restaurant at 9:30 p.m., had dinner, and set out for Penang at 10:00 p.m. At 12 something p.m., we reached Ipoh toll, and I SMSed the White Lady (Sue Zin) that I just passed her Kingdom. She replied that she was chatting happily with my 'wife'...

Finally reached home at 2:00 a.m.. This is one of the times that I fear home terribly. However, I felt relieved that my parents were already asleep. I sneaked into my room, bathed, and slept like a log. The next day, I went to Balik Pulau to find the ICT campus. It was a merry-go-round trip as the campus was in Sungai Rusa. It sounded familiar but I could not really remember where it was. So I went far and wide searching for the campus with my cousin, the Professor (Robert, Liang Wern). Finally, after turning here and there, we found it. However, it was closed, and the guard asked me to return on Monday. When I returned home that afternoon, my father was already at home. I got out of the car and he looked cool. So I spoke to him and nothing happened. My mother was also at home, she was behind, doing the dishes. I was afraid she would give me a lecture but in the end, everything turned out well.

In the evening, we had to get ready for my cousin's, Wei Leong's, wedding dinner at Paradise Beach Resort. At first, my heart was calm. However, when I reached the place, I saw Wei Leong and his wife, Shi Shi. Then there was Gwendelyn and her Singaporean boyfriend, Vincent, standing at the entrance also. Gwendelyn was busy introducing people to Vincent. Upon entering the ballroom, we were directed to our seats. Next to our table, my third aunt, Aunt Bee Choo was there with my granduncle, Uncle Tai Hai. I told her straight away about my story about me being terminated from the Pharmacy programme and she took it quite cool. She asked me also what my plan was, as usual, and I would continue explaining everything from the beginning again.

One by one, all family members from my father’s side arrived. Aunt Sharon came and was quite impressed with my new look as she preferred it to my previous. She told my mother that I’ve grown up and become more… erm… no need to say laa… hehe… Two people I feared most finally came: Uncle John (Kok Chuan) who stays in Sri Petaling, and Uncle Peng, my fourth aunt Bee Li’s husband, who is a pharmacist. They would ask me many things and I did not plan to let them know yet as I had not planned on how to tell them yet, so I kept quiet. Since Uncle Peng sat beside me, I couldn’t really eat. So I left the ballroom and went outside. There, I SMSed my friends and the CB Gang telling them how miserable I felt and how much I missed them. However, I sent to a wrong recipent. I was to send to Yen Shan (Ah San) and I sent to my cousin, Chu Chai (Ah Boy). So in the midst of my SMS conversation with Ah San, suddenly Chu Chai emerged with his girlfriend, Sylvene.

They talked to me a while regarding my feelings and problems. Suddenly Uncle John and my mother appeared and we stopped our conversation. Uncle John spoke to Chu Chai about some computer stuff while my mother asked me to go see Mr. Mak’s daughter who is studying Pharmacy in UCSI also (3^rd year USM). I was reluctant to meet his daughter but he pulled me until I slid from my ground. Sylvene was surprised to see that also. After talking to his daughter, I went back to Sylvene and Chu Chai and continued talking. Then came Emily and after talking for a while, all of us went in to the ballroom. As I still felt awkward, I quickly left the ballroom again. This time, my same aged cousin, James (Jian Huat) came to me and we talked briefly of our lives so far shortly before Gwendelyn came and gave me a good counsel.

Finally, the wedding was over. How glad I was to learn that and when I reached home, I felt relaxed, but not totally happy… I miss my friends… I felt myself being useless… I felt failure overwhelming me… Wei Leong’s wedding day was the following day and all my family attended, except me… It was too hard for me to attend…

The Leave Taking...

Having early dinner after the Last Debate at the Blue Dragon was quite fine but the atmosphere was quite solemn. The tables were surrounded by four yellow curtains. The dim lamp contributed to the darkness of the environment. We had to use our mobile phone's lights to look at what is in the menu. Upon finishing dinner, we left for home... We planned to sing K at Neway Cheras Plaza... We planned to meet there at 12p.m...

That night... of all places, I followed UVTSS (Sing Shia) to Liquid with her friends: Irene and Priscilla. They were quite nice people to talk to. Upon reaching Liquid, I once again saw this familiar place. I went in, and... bored... I do not like these places. Well, I had a hell bored time there. People there are nice to look at, but they do not interest me there... Even though wtih a group of ten people, I would feel bored also as some people were not there. Time passed like a snail, seconds seems to pass like minutes, minutes passed like hours, and the hour passed like days... how glad was I that in the end they decided to leave. A sudden gladness came to my eyes and my heart warmed up. Upon leaving that place which many people call fun, exciting, nice, happening, etc., I became active again. I have been quite all the while in Liquid, but upon leaving, my mouth started to open, and words started pouring out...

The next day, I woke up at 9 a.m. and I returned to the School of Pharmacy, not as a student. I left UVTSS to sleep like a pig. This time round, I went to see Ms. Wong and Ms. Saw first. They seemed to be happy to see me happy, not like the day before when I was really, erm, down. We chatted happily there and I asked about the possible courses that could actually interest me. I asked about courses like Biochemistry, Biomedical Science, and Biotechnology. Then I went to see Dr. Thet. Ms. Lyna and Ms. Priya were there. Same thing, I asked about the courses and their opinion on them. Suddenly Mr. Naidu came in and spoke about Diploma in Pharmacy. I have actually asked Ms. Saw about that and she advised me not to do diploma, and in her opinion, it is better to do degree. Upon hearing Mr. Naidu mentioning about Diploma in Pharmacy, Dr. Thet said: 'And then? Ask him to work as an assistant in the pharmacy under someone?'

It was already 12p.m. and I thought it was only 11:15 a.m.. My god... my watch stopped ticking! Jay Chow (Soon Yee) called me, and I rushed there. On my journey there, I called UVTSS. She did not pick up my phone !@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@! I called her the second time and she picked up. I listened to her voice and I knew, she just woke up. Newaying there was not as enjoyable as it used to be. Maybe because I had gone there too many times? Maybe I don't have the mood? Maybe the thought of separating haunts me? After Newaying, I went back to college to continue talking to Dr. Thet while waiting for my one and only roommate, David Ha Dung Bing. After finished talking to Dr. Thet, she gave me a small box of chocholates, erm, something Roche... dunno how to spell laa... She said share it with my friends, but... hehehe...

I walked with David and Shi Yi back to their house nearby and talked to him about his life. He was robbed the night before, along the road near his house. He told me his story that the night before, at around 11 p.m., he went down to PM (Pasar Malam) to buy supper. On his way home, suddenly, 2 men dismounted from their motorcycle and . They then advanced towards him and took out a long knife. One of them stepped on his feet so he could not escape and the long knife was pointed at his neck. They asked for money and David gave them RM5 since that is only what he really had. The robbers did not believe and one of them raised the knife and started to swipe at David's right arm. Shi Yi screamed and her scream alerted the neighbourhood. The robbers, startled by her scream and the neighbourhood's alertness, fled. Quickly, David and Shi Yi went back home. According to David, there were only scratches on his arm, no open wound... thank God~ God bless them...

After learning the story, I heard someone playing the violin in their house. It was their housemate, playing a piece very familiar to my ears. It had been a while since I last played the violin. I asked Shi Yi's permission to lend me hers to play and she agreed. Happily, the first piece I played was Kiss Goodbye as that was the latest I've learnt. I really enjoyed playing it using hers as the sound quality was really... erm, good! After finishing the song, I stopped to rest. Her housemate challenged me by playing Kiss Goodbye also, though not a good one, and I thought, maybe I should try retaliate as her level wasn't very high, as from what I heard. So I played Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, David's favourite. She played back the same thing but not as good either. Feeling challenged, I decided to give a full blast of my best song: Dong Feng Po... After finishing, there was no sound anymore. She admit defeat. Who dares challenge Huang Yao Shi and his skill in music? Hahahahahaha! :x

Then, after dueling in David's house, I bode farewell to Shi Yi and David. I walked home from Connaught to Yulek (actually Sri Bahtera). It was a one-hour walk and though tired, I had no choice. My pocket is running dry. I do not have much money. Then, the next day, is the day I feared most, the day I have to return to the North... Penang... Home... This is one of the few times I came home not with gladness or happiness but with fear...

The Last Debate...

War is come... The results for this second semester of the first year of the UCSI Pharmacy programme came out 5 days earlier... Many need to take supplementary for Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, Organic Chemistry II and Biostatistics for Pharmacy... Quite a number failed also...

On Thurday night, Ah San called me and told me that examination results are out! I went and checked my results and my results were not good (as stated in Kantui Kantui blog)... So, the next morning, 8 a.m., I took a bus back to KL from Penang. UVTSS (Sing Shia), upon my request, came back to Cheras earlier to settle her supplementary application. Mickey Mouse (Wen Chian) came to Cheras on Sunday, while the White Lady Sue Zin came on Monday.

I reached Pudu at 1:00 p.m. and went straight to Bandar Tasik Selatan. When I reach Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT station, I tried to get a cab but suey! There was not even a single cab! Then I saw a van with the UCSI logo and I jumped in. Jay Chow (Soon Yee) SMSed me asking where I was at that moment as she was already in college... Then I asked UVTSS to speed up to go to college from her house...

When I reached the college, I straight away went to the School of Pharmacy to find Jay Chow already waiting there. UVTSS, as usual, was late. Then we went into the room of the Cold-Blooded Animal... Dr. Yeong... now she was really strict... she would not give me even a chance to continue doing Pharmacy even though I failed only one subject. According to her, since I did not met the minimum requirement for Mathematics at STPM level, and still fail Biostatistics, it was proven that I could not do Maths... So I am terminated from the programme as stated in the condition.

I asked for her advice and she asked me to appeal from the VP of Academics, Mr. Chin Peng Kit... I appealed, and he said he would let me know the outcome on Wednesday. So what I could do is just wait. Ms. Wong Kuan Yau suggested us to give feedback since more than half of the class failed the subject called Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy. Much are having a hell of their time in the course. I was hoping that this feedback thing could actually help save me and other conditional offer students that failed in one subject or more.

On Monday, Ah San asked us to meet up with her in college in the morning. Mickey Mouse wanted to settle her things earlier as her brother needs to use the car before noon, so UVTSS and I followed Mickey Mouse to college earlier to settle her things and we met Ah San for brunch there. We talked about our plan and everybody seemed to have their own moody time. Gloomy was the gathering. Later, we went back to college while Mickey Mouse went home. Crystal would come with Selyn and Mei Mei to settle their things also...

We met the White Lady there and Chyi Ing also. Then we settled down at one of the tables outside block C and chatted. Then I left them for a moment to see Dr. Thet and Ms. Saw to seek for counsel... after much talk, I left Ms. Saw's room as Crystal had reached. I went out and proceeded to the School of Pharmacy. I saw Huii Zhong in the School of Medicine. I did not call her, I just acknowledge her because I wasn't happy that time. In the School of Pharmacy, I saw Hou Boon there. I told him everything.

Crystal was looking for the Cold-Blooded Animal, but the animal was on leave, so she went straight away to appeal from Mr. Chin as she was on conditional offer and failed PNS & Pharmacotherapy. Mr. Chin didn't give us a slightest hope also as he mentioned about our chances of being exempted from the condition was really very slim... we did not put much hopes in this appeal and we did whatever we could to be exempted from the condition. I collected feebacks desperately. UVTSS helped as well.

Feedbacks came from many students. Most are protective on the students side but some are not. Many were not afraid that their identity is known but there are several who are afraid of being penalised. SAO PEI laa! scared until like that... cek ak iao siu!!! coward! sok thao oo kuai!!! LAN CIAO! tui teng sua la!!! anyway, the feedbacks proved to be not much of use. But since I would no longer be in that school, I would create a havoc before leaving it, HAVOC!!!

On Wednesday, the battle begins. The troop, led by UVTSS, consisted of Mickey Mouse, Jay Chow, Sexy Baby (Poh Leen), the Gentleman (Jivan) and I. We went into the room of the Cold-Blooded Animal and was about to begin the battle but I was the first casualty to be dropped dead. The animal chased me out of the room as she said that I would not be joining them the next semester. I left the room volutarily. I looked at the time and it was the first half of 12 p.m.

With nothing to do, I went to Dr. Thet. She asked me how was the outcome and I said I had not seen Mr. Chin yet. However, with reference to what the animal told me earlier, I had a foresight that I would not be able to continue the course. So we talked about my future plannings: about Chemistry-based courses and other options. After one hour talking to Dr. Thet, I proceeded to Ms. Wong Kuan Yau's and Ms. Saw Jun Tze's room to talk about it. I talked to them about my plans and about some other crap. Then they asked whether would I like to see Mr. Chin now or later, and they asked me to make an appointment to meet up with him in person. I made an appointment with him at 3:30 p.m.

The troop came back to Ms. Wong's room with a defeated look after a 2-hour debate with the Cold-Blooded Animal, and things really looked vain. It was time for me to meet up with Mr. Chin and I left the room and proceeded to block A to meet up with Mr. Chin. I walked there calmly at first but approaching the chancellory, my heart suddenly pounded like hell. The pace was of that I never felt before. I suddenly found myself praying very hard, harder than I had done previously. However, upon entering his room, all was calm. the feeling of heaviness suddenly left me...

As I had expected,the first thing Mr. Chin told me was he did not have good news for me and I knew exactly what it meant. I just made my last stand and left the room after that, walking back to block C, holding the letter of reject. I felt nothing. I suddenly had no feelings. Ascending the staircase to the School of Pharmacy, I still had no feelings. When I reached Dr. Thet's room, I found that she was not there. So I thought, maybe I would come back later. However, I saw Dr. Thet emerging at the corridoor. So we went into the room and we settled at her table and talked.

I showed her the letter and just smiled. She smiled back after reading the letter and told me that there was nothing to be sad about and it was, actually a good thing. I had not any feelings but my eyes started to tear. I cannot control my tear glands. Tears just flowed out uncontrolably. Dr. Thet was like saying: 'No, Desmond, don't, Desmond, no.' However hard I tried to keep my tears from flowing out, i cannot do so... There was no feeling, and I just found myself sobbing. Then Dr. Thet left her seat and came over to me. She said: 'Aiyo, Desmond, you're a man, how can you cry? Aiyo, a student crying in front of a lecturer.' She patted me on my head gently, and I felt better. Then she had to leave for block A to do something. So I left the School of Pharmacy as a student for the last time with her.

I walked back to the School of Medicine to see Ms. Wong & Ms. Saw. I opened the door and the first person I saw was Ms. Saw. That time, my eyes were already watery. I went in the room, closed the door, and showed the letter to UVTSS, Mickey Mouse and Jay Chow. They quickly had a look at it and passed it on to Ms. Wong and Ms. Saw. In here, I was crying (instead of sobbing when I was in Dr. Thet's room). There was a sudden silence. A dark cloud passed by in the room. All of them fell silent... their eyes either met each others or the floor only. This time, I felt sad... really really very sad... I'm sad of leaving the CB-Sakai family after clicking with them so well... After going through the hardships in Pharmacy... after one year... I had to leave... After long, finally I have found my family in Pharmacy, I had to leave them...

I met Dr. Zabidah before I leave with my 'family' and told her everything. Then I asked for leave. I found that UVTSS, Mickey Mouse and Jay Chow were no longer in Ms. Wong's room. Then I left the School of Medicine, the only Haven I a have found in UCSI for the last time as a student there. I found them standing outside waiting for me to go have lunch together... I later learnt that Jay Chow cried... When I learnt this, I was so touched... Never before had anyone shed a tear for me for leaving... Knowing this really brings tears to my eyes... I cried all the way in Jay Chow's car to the Blue Dragon Thai restaurant... I never thought I would...

Kan Tui... Kan Tui...

haih... as these few days really very very very bad luck... My examination results are supposed to be out next week de... but dunno why suddenly on Thursday came out... I took 7 subjects this semester including Malaysian Studies, Organic Chemistry II, Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, Basic Medicinal Chemistry, Basic Pharmacology & Immunopharmacology, Communication Skills and Biostatistics for Pharmacy... suey suey fail 3 subjects... MS, PNS, Statistics... MS & PNS still can take supplementary paper... but Statistics really bye bye... I am on conditional offer which requires me to pass all first year subjects, if not, I will be terminated from the programme... so now, I really kantui...

CB-Sakai Trilogy: Part 3 - The Journey North...

People from all over the country come and study in the Central. This semester, I came up with the plan for the family to follow me North to Penang during the semester break, and along the way, to stop by two places in Perak, namely Ipoh and Taiping, before going to the most famous, tiniest, most happening spot in the map of the world - Penang Island. Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian came along this time...

We started off on the 4th of May 2006 at 11:00 a.m. in my father's SLK (Stupid Little Kelisa :p) and reached our first stop at about 1:35 p.m. - Ipoh, the Mighty Kingdom of the Cute Fair Girl, the White Lady Sue Zin. As we ventured into the Kingdom of the White Lady, hilly and slopey landscapes could be seen and oil-palm plantations could also be seen. Hence, there were ooh~ aah~ as these sights can never really be seen in Cheras... The White Lady Sue Zin's home is in Southern Ipoh, and is very near to the North-South Highway. As we reached White Lady Sue Zin's home, nobody was at home except for one of her brothers, who had just finished his SPM, but not rotting at home I suppose. Her mother was out fetching another of the White Lady Sue Zin's brother, who is still in school...

What I did was bathed first as I was sweating like hell. Then, just in time before all of us were to go out for lunch, the Lady's mother came back. Her mother is really a nice lady and she treated us well. The White Lady's brother also was nice to us. Then we set out to lunch. After lunch, we went down town area and visit the Sam Poh Tong (Sam Poh Cave). Along the way, I saw Politeknik college, and one person came to my mind - he is my old friend, Ong Cheng Wei. The cave was a beautiful place, and it really captured my mind - the caves, the woods, the glades. There was a cave where Wen Chian and I climed up to have a look. There was an opening up a dark cave, but it was blocked. It led up to a wodden bridge to areas unknown. I was mistified by this but I couldn't possibly go into it as it might be blocked for some reasons.

After the cave, we went to Jusco, and of all things, they bowled there. As for me, I am known for sitting at the background and watch only. Speaking of 'watch', remember the movie UltraViolet? Her favourite line is 'Watch Me!' Sing Shia, who is so so soooooooooo into Violet, used the line frequently. I can remember at one time, when she was about to bowl, she held the bowling ball, and turned to the three of us and said 'Watch Me!'. When she turned back facing the lane and pins, lowered her hand holding the ball, PIANG! There was a PIANG-ing sound - the ball slipped from her hand and dropped hard on the ground. What the rest of us could do is - Laugh!

Of all people we met there, guess who - our seniors, our UCSI-USM Pharmacy seniors. Of course they came over and talked to us, bla bla bla... Violet TSS emerged as the greatest in bowling (among us only of course... hehe...) while Wen Chian followed the queue while the White Lady, being a great, kindly and generous host, allowed everyone to go first while she goes last... Then, after bowling and having a great laugh, we left for dinner (or ninner as our Ultra-Violet Tan Sing Shia pronounces) having the famous beansprout/taugeh/ngachoi chicken. Of course the seniors asked us to join them but for my part, I was reluctant to join as I felt that we were outnumbered. So we went to dinner on our own. After dinner, we went to a shop to get some biscuits... hiao pia... lao borr pia... lao ang pia... kae kia pia... koe-ah... bla bla bla...

At night, we went back to the Lady's house for a while before setting out to Tesco there or Eastern Garden if I'm not mistaken, for me to meet my friend, Cheng Wei, as I have some talking to be done with him regarding our good friend, Han Chou... Cheng Wei and I sat by the side to talk while Violet TSS, the White Lady Sue Zin, and Wen Chian played pool. Long we talked but to no avail as all of us cannot come to council together - Leonard was in Setapak, Cheng Wei and I were in Ipoh, Geok Im was in PJ, and Han Chou was in Penang.

After long talks, we saw that it was quite late and decided to end our meeting just like that. We would meet up in Penang and talk further about this when all of us would likely to be able to gather and call for council. I returned with UVTSS, the White Lady and Wen Chian to the Lady's home and found that nearly everyone had already slept except for her brother. I went online for a while and then straight away went to bed.

The next morning, we bode farewell to the White Lady's mother and brother and after brunch, we set out for Taiping, City of the Baroness Min Min.Thanks to the Baroness Min Min for taking us to lunch. How glad am I to step back into the Region where most people speak Hokkien ua... wuah... siah thi siah tay... after lunch, of course went to Taiping Lake... what a beautiful scene... nice serine lake... We paddled boats there, Violet TSS and the White Lady, while Wen Chian and I went on another. After boating, we planned to go to Taiping Zoo, but our Violet TSS was afraid of monkeys... aiyoh... sakai afraid of monkey... die lorrr!

Anyway, after fooling around with pruple flowers outside Taiping Zoo, we bode farewell to the Baroness Min Min and continued our Journey North to Penang Island (or Tao Hua Dao - Peach Blossom Island as I am Huang Yao Shi... hahaha...). It was raining heavily along the way but after leaving the City of the Baroness Min Min, the sun shone, though with a gloomy light. Then we passed Bukit Merah, and then into Penang Mainland, Nibong Tebal. Here, paddy fields could be seen and UVTSS and Wen Chian were like~ oh~ oh~ ah~ ah~ as seldom can they see paddy fields as the Central and Southern Regions are more hilly than the North.

As we approached the bridge, I fear that it would jam, but thank God the traffic was not that bad. Over the bridge, Wen Chian took several pictures but the view on the other side of the bridge was blocked by a separator, CB! CB! CB! CB! However, Wen Chian was happy enough to see the horizon... After crossing the bridge, I felt homely once again to have seen familiar roads and surroundings. A sudden gladness was in me and for a moment, I thought, 'I'm in Penang! Finally!' This is my Realm... I went straight home first before going anywhere because I am already tired and I am sure they are also at least as tired as I am, or maybe more... Dinner with my mother and father at Teluk Tempoyak... aiyoh... not nice one the seafood... terukzz... at night, I slept downstairs at my father's 'office' while UVTSS, the White Lady and Wen Chian were assigned to my room.

The next day, I booked one of my best friend for the whole day... Mr. Yeoh Chin Leng aka 'L-Bird' Albert. Glad was I to see him after one semester not seeing him. I took all of them to Jelutong market, to my father's stall and to have brunch there... there, I met Mr. Khoo, my father's friend who had been a drug addict once... When I was in China with him, we talked about drugs and things like that... after brunch, we went first to beachy (not bitchy ok?) area, that is Tanjung Tokong, Tanjung Bungah, and Teluk Bahang. Aiyoh... ceik ak iao siu o... take them there to see the beautiful horizon and blue sea, mana tau, cannot see... downpour... so what to do? take them to Penang Butterfly Farm lorr... see butterflies... fly fly fly... surprisingly, Chin Leng had not been there before.

Then I took them to the Forest Reserve walk walk... boringzz... then took them round island, since already half island rounded. Along the way, Wen Chian the Small Kid and I started to make cute annoying sounds of 'wee' and 'oh'... and the Small Kid started tyo speak in a cute fashion. Chin Leng suddenly said that her voice is like Mickey Mouse... We crossed Teluk Bahang Dam, and Titi Kerawang Waterfall. I stopped at the waterfall and led them into the woods to see the waterfall. UVTSS waited halfway as she dared not cross the wodden bridge. so, L-Bird, the White Lady, Mickey Mouse and I went in to get a closer look at the waterfall. We saw a few 'la-la' or 'ah too ah kow ah lian ah hua' there also...

We continued our journey to Balik Pulau to eat the Laksa and Paksembur... on the way there, the road was winding and narrow... and it was on the hill-side too, so can see the countryside side of Penang Island. Laksa at Balik Pulau is really aiyoh... Some said nice, some said not nice, others so so... but they enjoyed the Paksembur... yeah! Balik Pulau is not a bad place to stay also... got school, TNB, Telekom, Bomba, petrol station, hospital, bla bla bla... though a small town... but everything is there...

Then it is time to head back to home... but took them to another place, but not sure what the place is called. There, you can see the other side of Penang Island, free from city-pollutants, overlooking Balik Pulau, Pantai Acheh, and Kuala Sungai Pinang. We took pictures there, then I sent L-Bird home. At night, I took UVioletTSS, the White Lady and Mickey Mouse to Super Tanker to eat hawker food... once again some are nice, some not nice... I didn't realise the fried oyster was nice there, I thought it was horrible, but luckily, I ordered and let them eat and they like it...

The next day, we had brunch at Gurney Drive with my mother. Bak Kut Teh... then, after dropping my mother at Lam Wah Ee Hospital, I took UVTSS, the White Lady and Mickey Mouse to Kek Lok Si. Then to Youth Park. Youth Park had changed quite alot. New things appeared, but the archery range is still functioning, thought with less people now... We were supposed to meet up with Joycee but something went wrong and everything went hay-wired. At night, took them to Gurney Plaza to see some lengzai... but not many are there... Had dinner... then went to Revolving Restaurant at City Bayview Hotel. Fooled around there and then return home... My father told me to be careful as nowadays, Penang got alot of PhaiKia...

Next day, I took them to Sungai Petani (SP - SAO PEI!~) to see the two SAO PEI Queens - Sok Nee 'Nee Nee' and Michelle aka Poh Kheng 'Kheng Kheng'... Thank goodness I switched my father's SLK to my Wira as I fetched Nee Nee and Kheng Kheng around. We went to Kheng Kheng's house first with Nee Nee directing us around. Then we went to have lunch at town. Thanks alot for treating us Nee Nee and Kheng Kheng... The we went to Lembah Bujang and the museum to see the Candi-Candi... then went to Tanjung Dawai overlooking to Pantai Merdeka... then after that, we went back to Penang...

At night, my cousin, Liang Wern aka 'Robot' Robert joined us for dinner and took them to Bayan Baru hawker centre... Nothing was nice there actually, but it was their last night in Penang, so simply eat laa since we are all tired of travelling. That night, UVTSS went out with her P friend until 12 something a.m. I waited until I wanted to sleep, while Mickey Mouse too felt sleepy... the White Lady was already in bed while waiting for the return of Violet TSS... In the end, she came back also... we thought she would not be coming back, and ahem~ ahem~ the rest, no need for me to say la horr...

The next morning, I took them to eat Dim Sum at Sg Ara there... was quite OK but I don't like it there... then after Dim Sum, my heart was heavy to send them to the bus depot to depart. UVTSS and Mickey Mouse would be leaving for KL while the White Lady would be departing back to her Fair Kingdom. Unfortunately, departure time for the White Lady was one hour later than UVTSS and Mickey Mouse... so we sent them to their busses and see them leaving then wait for the White Lady's bus.

Finally, the time has come for her to go home also. To see them leave all together, I felt my heart being corrosed... The time has come... the bus the White Lady of Ipoh was on was drifting away... slowly... until at last, beyond sight... then I felt the warm breeze under the hot sun... they're gone... I'm alone... I walked back to my car and got in... started... drove back home and tears flowed gracefully... not of grieve, but something touched my heart... Might be loneliness..

I reached home and found my father there... 'Pa, I'm back...' I said. and my father said, 'oh, your friends went back already?' and I answered 'yes, and they thank both of you alot...'

but I am thankful to God as he sent me such people to make my life colourful... I am thankful to you all as well, each and evey character in my tale even if one is a minor character but one would make a big difference in the tale... I would like to thank especially UVTSS, the White Lady of Ipoh Wong Sue Zin, Small Kid Mickey Mouse Pang Wen Chian, Albert 'L-Bird' Yeoh Chin Leng, Chow Soon Yee, Tang Sia Chin, my Parents and my brotherhood council members - Leonard, Cheng Wei, Han Chou, and Geok Im...

We come to it at last... Everything, good or bad, happy or sad, must come to an end... This is the end... but it is only one part of my life...

(Version 1 - to be edited)

CB-Sakai Trilogy: Part 2 - CBP2 Cunningness System & CB5-Therapy...

During the examination month, April 2006, happens the Pharmacology of H & G.... along that went with the CBP2 Cunningness System & CB5-therapy… The stress of examination, Pharmacology of H & G, CBP2 Cunningness System & CB5-therapy nearly killed me…

Tailing the event of CBs vs. CBPs, CB5 and I learned that CBP2 actually used Joycee, and even hurt Joycee… Joycee being a naïve young girl who had not been exposed enough to the hostile environment outside, felt betrayed and hurt… CPB2 actually got close to Joycee because CBP2 had another motive… CBP2 had an intention… CBP2 actually mixed with Joycee because CBP2 wanted to get close to Sing Shia and her gang… This had hurt Joycee a lot… Joycee’s church members were really sad that CBP2 actually did that to Joycee and it was Min Ran, seeing that the actions of CBP2 being too much, told this to Sing Shia… hence, I met up with Min Ran and found out for myself what actually happened… even Cecilia wasn’t happy over what CBP2 had done… I have been ignoring CBP2 for quite some time… My anger… has not subsided yet…

As for the Medicinal Chemistry of CB5 & Shirly, CB5 really would not learn even though CB5 got burnt after playing with fire… CB4 & I had warned CB5 in March regarding the dangers and the wrongs of getting into a relationship with Shirly... but CB5 ignored… I remember that time it was a Wednesday and we were at the basketball court, trapped in the rain as we wanted to go for pasar malam… CB5 played with fire… and got burned in the end…

Over the weeks, we had been crazy because of the examination… I can still remember during the eve of the examination of the subject Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, CB2 invited CB5 & I over to her house to study together… hey… 2 a.m. in the morning go over to CB2’s house and study? Crazy… but that is what we did… When we reached, we settled down for a moment. Then, we got hungry at around 3 a.m.… Then we decided to call McD delivery, so we called the hotline, but… the service is only from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m…. I definitely felt sheepish that time… So? What we gonna do? Drive-thru lorr… Connaught McD 24-hour drive-thru… aiyoh… 3 a.m. go McD drive-thru… 9 a.m. was the time for the PNS paper… teruk macam beruk…

After all the papers have passed, came the time when Shirly starts to haunt CB5… Shirly even wanted to return to CB5… But, CB5, seeing that the relationship is a sin and that Shirly is not being sincere, didn’t want to be together again. Several unclear things happened and Shirly even attempted suicide by cutting her wrist vein. However, the attempt was just to scare CB5. The cut, according to CB5, was not deep… it was just very very shallow… What is this? Playing a scaring game of true or dare? Sao pei laa… Shirly had paid CB5 many visits and had actually troubled CB5…

Now CB5 is afraid that CB5 might be the cause of Shirly’s death if ever Shirly would commit suicide… Cecilia had told CB5 many times but CB5 would not listen… It ends up like that… Cecilia warned me not to play with fire as I would get burn in the end if I do so… Of course the full tale cannot be told also…

CB-Sakai Trilogy: Part 1 - The Pharmacology of H & G...

It has been quite a while since I last wrote a blog, and since now I am on a 2-month semester break, might as well take this opportunity to pen and continue to recall what happened over this second semester of the first year of my Pharmacy degree course. This semester, though feels & seems short, but a lot of things happened. It feels like the turn of the tide… Why? What is the reason? Maybe this is growing up! Getting new lecturers, meeting new people, making new friends, assigned to new and tougher subjects and projects, and most important and valuable of all, gaining new experiences (though I gained weight also L…)…

Where shall I start… hmm… well, maybe I should start with the tale of 2 of my closest friends, H & G… I’m terribly sorry but I could not name them… I have known H & G for 14 years & 8 years respectively though I have been close to them only about 5 or 6 years ago… Anyway, both of them seemed like they were meant to be together and they have been the ideal couple of some of my circle of friends (namely C & L)... Who would have thought that their relationship would come to an end? Many have guessed and talked about this since the very beginning… but none dared to make any conclusion…

In my opinion, I have been with them through STPM, so I might see, understand, and know more than C & L who were not doing STPM together with us. C & L do not seem to know or aware what is going on… I thought they know well what is going on… Both C & L knows that H is being extremely childish but they are not aware of his attitude of protective & overprotective… They were not aware of what actually happened between H & G... Neither am I… until recently... but it is too late… G has already asked for a break up… G had told me many things over the semester and I was kind of shocked to learn such things… C & L were shocked too to have heard how H treated G…

According to H, H said that G misunderstood H, but according to G, G had told and gave H many hints regarding his attitude of childishness and selfishness, but H was not sensitive enough… but from our experiences (C, L & I), H has been quite childish and his thinking is a bit of the old-China-man conservative thinking… C have warned H after G complained to C about H’s attitudes and actions last December but H doesn’t really change much… H did change, but not much and not long either… I, being the geographically closest person to G among them all, have visited G many times through out the semester and talked much to her… I would have warned H but G does not allow as G wants to prevent quarrels… I did discuss with C about this but in the end, we did not warn H as the situation seemed not right at that time… C & I have asked G to allow a chance for H… Even L, being the last person to be aware of what is going on, asked G to give H a chance but to no avail… Nothing can change G’s decision now… now, H doesn’t want to give up on the relationship… but H’s actions of trying to woo G back would only result in the anger of G…

The full tale can never be told … Several things are better left unknown… As H’s good friends, we do not wish to give H false hopes… but if we were to tell him straight away, with a mind equivalent to a young child, he would have regard us as his enemies… What is there we could do? We have done all we could… Now it depends on how H takes things and how H handles this situation… So passes the tale of H & G…

Study Hibernation - Dr. Thet!!! Organic Chemistry II

Strange are my dreams of late...

Final examination coming soon... haha... I can still write a blog? this shows that I have not been studying... haha... Sunday... I thought I could study... mana tau... David needed my help... so I was out since morning until late at night... dinner - visited Min Ran at Bkt Jalil... nearly killed her coursemates who are so brainless and teruk macam beruk terkena jeruk dalam periuk...

We had dinner with Sing Shia at Sri Petaling KFC... Min Ran then told us her life stories and af course we told her ours too... then I brought up the case regarding CBP2 and someone close to Sing Shia & Min Ran... CBP2 is really a CBP!! She's a B*tch!!! I pity her victim as I nearly was a victim of hers too... Never before have I come across someone as cunning as you, CBP2, since the day I left my lovely island... you are a real B*tch and a real CBP!!! Get LOST!!!

I am sick of being someone in the side of the light... now I have desire to become a phai kia... though many said I cannot and will not be a phai kia... but I am really sick of it... being generous and kind while letting people like the CBP2 taking advantage and using me? SAO PEI LAA!!! Besides... phai kia is quite cool also... and this world... good people are less likely to survive than bad ones... Come forward CBP2!!! You want ot play fire with fire? Fine... But I am not going to do so... you use fire, I'm using water...

My dreams are getting strange nowadays... I have not been having dreams previously... but recently, it seems that nearly every night... or shall I say every time I fall asleep, even though it is just a nap, I would dream of something... It started off with my enemy... then the school of Pharmacy... then my relatives... then Dr. Thet... it started off well but I fear that it would get worse... I do not know whether is this a sign or something like that that something would happen... I am in fear now... I fear that something terrible is about to happen...

Well yesterday was the last day in school before final exam starts... So I cooked fried bee hoon to school for some of my friends... and not forgetting Dr. Thet too ^^... I woke up quite late leh... about 7:10 a.m. to prepare the bee hoon... well, the beginning was fine as I cooked the chicken fillet, prawn and mushroom first before adding the bee hoon... but... the pan was too small to cater for the whole amount of bee hoon... so, I spilt half-half... after that, I fried 6 eggs with butter...

After that, I put and mixed everything prepared in a rice cooker's stainless steel cooking bowl and a portion for Dr. Thet in my microwave oven bowl... Well, I thought, the chicken fillet and mushroom seemed like too few for such a big portion of bee hoon, so I cooked more... Then suddenly Sing Shia SMSed me saying that she needs to follow me if possible... So I said I need about 5-10 minutes... When we reached the college, we saw Soon Yee & Sia Chin - late also... why? traffic jam... Wen Chian was already in the classroom and she thought everyone ppk her... Sue Zin was late also...

After class, I took one portion for Dr. Thet... this time with Wen Chian's company... this is the second time I cooked bee hoon, and the first was quite a failure - too salty... I didn't realise the sauce I was about to pour wasn't concentrated black soy sauce but normal soy sauce... hehe... so this time, I fried Tom Yam bee hoon... hope Dr. Thet liked it... Dr. Thet said to me: don't spend too much time cooking... and we were like: hahaha... I did tell her that she may return me an empty bowl and that would be fine...

Since the bee hoon prepared was too big a portion, I asked the guys: Thomas, Jason, Mun Kit, Kuan Poh, Chun Wei, and Mahmood to eat also... of course Sia Chin, Sing Shia, Soon Yee and Wen Chian did eat... well, I hope it is fine and I hope they really like it ^^... Then it is time for everyone to leave and prepare for final exam... I sent Wen Chian to the LRT/KTM station then sent Sing Shia back... then go back home and study...

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY II - Nucleophilic Addition of Carbony Compounds... Carbony groups are polarised... sp2 hybridised... C=O has the sigma & pi bond... sigma bond is the overlap of half-filled sp2 hybridised orbitals... pi bond is the overlap of half-filled 2p orbitals... oxygen lone pairs occupy the sp2 hybridised orbitals... The plannar arrangement of the C=O group makes the group relatively uncrowded and subsceptible to attack by nucleophiles... nucleophiles act by sharing or donating electrons... nucleophiles can be negatively charged or neutral...

Final Exam draws nigh... Nothing can defeat us... Ming! Chia! Leng! Lyn! Ping! Thien! Chin! Shia! Yee! Zin! Chian! I Love You!!!

Men of Gondor and Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship... but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when all hope comes crashing down, but it is NOT this day! This day, we fight! For all that you hold dear, stand, Men of the West!

Fizzy Friday...

Phew... Last night, helped David to shift some of his things to his new house... had dinner with him tim... it has been quite a while since I last had dinner with him... well... this morning, there is this Curtin Pharmacy students orientation and I wished to attend and see their juniors... Only 13 students were present... how few... I brought my mat for David today as he needed a mat to sleep on...

Ms. Mahmati's class was cancelled, so no 8 a.m. class... but 10 a.m., Mr. Lokesh held a tutorial for Medicinal Chemistry... until 12 p.m. ... of course it finished earlier, at around 11:30 a.m., so Wen Chian was like asking me where to go... and I was like: don't know... Soon Yee was like saying: SING K!!! Sing Shia was like: good also... lunch hour... got set lunch also... Wen Chian was like: can... I don't care... I'm damn hungry... and I went: crazy ah? three times sing K in a week... break record ah? Sing Shia then said: want then faster... time is short... I was like singing: ni hai deng shen me? shi jian yi jing bu duo, zai xia qu zhi hou zhi zuo peng you.... Thomas overheard our conversation and he gave a surprised look to Wen Chian saying: haa? still going to sing K ah?

Then, we got in my car and I drove to Giant as Sing Shia wanted to post a letter to PTPTN... so we ran to the post office... then when we returned to the car, we decided to go Neway sing K again... AIYOH!!! 3 times a week sing K... what is this? looi chae ah? hahaha... Shirly joined us abit late in the end... anyway we had to leave early as there was still a tutorial with Dr. Thet at 2 p.m. but Sing Shia left with Shirly first because she needed to get something from her house... Soon Yee, Wen Chian & I left at 1:45 p.m. ... This time, no one was late... so no one said: Our car broke down... so lame...

Dr. Thet's last class was a tutorial for Medicinal Chemistry... quite a long one... 3 hours... Sing Shia was not that fortunate today as Dr. Thet kept asking her to answer questions... She did ask me also but less frequent this time... Anyway I am glad this day is over... What a week... Wen Chian and I... Sing K 3 times in a week... memang pecah the CB record...

CBP2 Vs. CBs

This is about a girl named CBP...

Early morning... she wakes up... knocks her head on the wall...

It's time for CB... faking smile... it's you, the two-faced monster...

Ahh... let us put aside the tale of these CBPs for a moment... Allow me to continue from where I left out the other day... Oh yeah... I was revising for Statistics quiz and I was quite saturated... so I wrote the previous blog... haih... Tuesday... morning I went and fetch Wen Chian to college... just in time for Biostatistics quiz... ARGHHH!!! flunk the Biostatistics quiz... after the quiz, the CBs and CBP1 had brunch at Block D... then don't know where to go... so in the end, everyone went Block A while waiting for Dr. Thet's class to start...

After Dr. Thet's class, my circle of good friends do not know where to go... Thus, Sue Zin went back home sao pei... Sing Shia with Shirly go ahem~ ahem~! Soon Yee went Sunway Pyramid with her friend for ice-skating... but unfortunately, the ice-rink was closed... In the end, Wen Chian & I went to Neway Karaoke to celebrate Crystal's birthday... haih... Actually I do not wish to join them one... but since it is Crystal's birthday, then aiyoh... horr bin lorr... I didn't really enjoy laa... frankly speaking laa... and speaking the truth laa... don't wish to hide laa... I do not feel comfortable hanging around with the guys... because of someone's presence there (which I would not tell who!)... They are fine... as long as that particular person is not there... then I'm fine and dandy... I'm not sure why... but I can surely tell... that his way of speaking is really very ACTION!!! SAO PEI LAA...

Anyway... Everything was fine anyway... after Newaying... it is time to go home... but... AIYOH!!! RAINING!!! HEAVILY SOMEMORE!!! so... had to ask someone to send Wen Chian and I to Wen Chian's house as I left my car there... so in the end, thanks to Thomas... he was kind enough to send us there... Then... Sing Shia said she wanted to have dinner together... with Sue Zin and along with Shirly... so we went to the Taynton steamboat restaurant but not to have steamboat but just rice there... Sue Zin actually wanted to come out for dinner to escape from CBP1...

Hence comes the next morning... Malaysian Studies... Wednesday... after Malaysian Studies, Sia Chin, Seng Chew, Sue Zin, Sing Shia and I went for breakfast at 'Lao Niu' kopitiam... We then planned to watch a movie at Mid Valley... Wen Chian didn't join us because her mother is still at her house... only Sing Shia, Soon Yee, Sue Zin & I went for movie at Mid Valley... Underworld 2... then, after the movie... we had the urge to go sing K... in the end, we went to Neway in Cheras to sing K... this time, Wen Chian & I sing K AGAIN... waaa... SING K TWO DAYS IN A ROW... I have never done that before... phaiseh... then... at night... went PM... aiyoh... whole day go out...

PM PM PM... all five of us went PM but we didn't see each other... Sue Zin & Soon Yee was with their respective boyfriends... so only Sing Shia, Wen Chian and I only... saw lots of ppl... Ms. Lilian Leong... Paul... Suny... Jian Hui... Hou Boon... Nee Nee... Kheng Kheng... Kan Mi... Pei Wee... Min Min... Hui Zhong... Hui Ting... the cute Curtin Pharmacy girl... and also... not forgetting our dear favourite most beloved CBP2!! very very very tired... after PM... went home... but... the day wasn't over yet...

here comes the Tale of CBP2 Vs. the CBs... It all began with a simple MSN chatting session among some the CB members... only CB1, CB2, CB4, and CB5 were online... and then along came CBP2... CBP2 had private chats with CB2, CB4, and CB5... CBP2 kept shooting CB2... bagi cukup-cukup... then... CBP2 did a few things very unacceptable... using CB5's name to force CB4 into doing something... basically, CBP2 was being very very very FAKE!!! SAO PEI LAA CBP2!!! what has other people's friendship got to do with you? SAO GUAT LAA CBP2!!! you're being a two-headed snake!!!

Anyway... today was not really a good day... after school... I thought of having dinner with Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian... unfortunately, it rained very heavily... so in the end, cancelled... So how? I had dinner with my dear ex-roommate, David and his girlfriend, Shi Yi, since I had to pass to him his things which he left in KL for about 3 months... after that, I came home lorr... then type this blog lorr... haih... boring blog... but I cannot take it anymore... so I must find a way to release tension...

They go... isn't she CB... this CBP girl!!!

And they say... she's so CB... she's a snake...

But she fakes! fakes! fakes! in front of her friends...

Thinking... if there's nothing... missing in my life, then why do I need to make friends?

SAO PEI laa...

SAO PEI LAA... SAO MAI GUAT TIM...

lim pek kinna jit khee siao liao... thak chek... thak Statistics thak ka khee siao liao... an jua ho? Now I cannot sleep... Insomnia... Cb4!!! give me prazosin...

Well... what a day yesterday... Morning morning should attend Malaysian Studies... but... skipped again... why?The night before, I went dinner with Cb5 as I know, Vivian wouldn't send me the discussions for the Statistics project to edit and compile... Then, I was talking about some P pubs and cafes to Cb5 and then Cb5 took me to Blue Boy... boring laa... not the place not nice... but the people there boring like hell... khi holan pun ka ho laa... anyway, nearly 'snatched' by a ang moh kao... anyway... I reached home at around 12 a.m. ... then... opened my mailbox... but nothing from Vivian... I waited until 2 a.m. but still nothing... so I slept laa... kuan ee ane chae cho mik?

So... overslept lorr... in the end, I didn't attend for Malaysian Studies... nvm... asked Cb2 to take attendence for me... Thanks alot Cb2... nvm laa horr... sometimes I take for you also merr... wahhahaa... then... I brought David's printer to school today to print out the Statistics thesis as I have to edit and compile the thesis and thanks to Vivian, I have to bring my laptop and printer to school today... Kee Shiuen thought I brought a microwave to school today... and Cb4 said I brought a poo kee (toaster)! Waa... David... your printer really ho liao... multipurpose one... from printer to microwave to toaster...

Skipped one of Dr. Thet's class today because I wanted to print out the thesis... Poh Leen & Jen Ni was around to kay poh... anyway... her class was short... and it finished in about 40 minutes... the Cbs planned to go to Cb5's place to study Statistics... and I wanted to go also... After Dr. Thet's class, Cb5 called me to go meet her at the library... then I said ok, and I sent Cb4 and Cb6 there first as I had to pass the thesis to Kean Ching... then, Cb6 called me and Cb6 said the Cbs have something to pass to me... I was wondering what it is... mana tau... when I reached the library, I saw Cb2 holding my tupperware... and she told me Dr. Thet returned me the tupperware... inside, was MeeHoon... aiyoh... on Saturday, I cooked MeeHoon for the Cbs... and I gave Dr. Thet some... now she returned me MeeHoon pulak... don't know is it the one she cooked or not... quite nice lorr... ate it in Cb5's room... Shared with all the Cbs...

Then, at around 5:30 p.m., Cb6 is getting hungry and asked whether Cb3 wants to go back already or not since Cb3 is the one who was supposed to send Cb6 home... then Cb4 wanted to go eat dinner... but I'd just logged in to my MSN account and the Kepong guy was there... I wanted to chat longer with him so I delayed the time to go dinner by 15 minutes... Cb5 started saying that I miss that Kepong guy... wahhahaa.... In the end we went for dinner at the Tmn Connaught Basketball court there... only Cb2, Cb4, Cb5, and I went there... Cb3 & Cb6 had dinner at home...

Of all people, I met Bin Bin there... well, I am quite happy to see him but... he did something I do not really like... he wanted to call me... but he doesn't like calling my name... I am not sure why... so he used his leg to 'kick' me... And I do not like that... I told him straight away... and ignored him thereafter... We, Cb2, Cb4, Cb5 & I talked and gossiped and crapped while having dinner... and guess who else I saw - David... with Shi Yee... and Eric, Jian Hui... having dinner at the same place also... David said that that was the first time he saw me havong dinner at that place... I told him I have been having dinner there for quite some time and more frequent this semester... wahhahahahahaha...

Now... I couldn't sleep... so write a blog lorr while chatting with my favourite Kepong guy... whahaaha... Miss that Kepong guy lerr... over the weekend didn't chat with him... wahahaha... now got opportunity must chat first... if not then no more... aiyah... Statistics thak bo liao gok... ai khi thak liao... ok laa... until here first... see you next time... bai bai...

"... Come what may... I will love you... until the end of time..."

SAO PEI LAA...

Welcome to the D Game...

Welcome to the D Game...

cb!... cb!... sha sha fen bu qing chu...

What a day... just came back from Ahmad Maideen mamak stall. I was having dinner with our beloved 'Mummy' Sing Shia, my dear 'Wife' Wen Chian, and our beloved Sue Zin... saw Ms. Rexy Joseph at Maideen... Phaimia... today no water supply at Taman Sri Bahtera, so had to go to Sue Zin's place to bathe... I wonder how Soon Yee survive at her place without water supply today... Well, just partially recovered from this special four-day high fever course and I am not in the mood of doing anything else except writing a blog since long time no write liao...

hmm... where shall I start? well... I guess start from academics... Aiyoh... Phaimia... Pharmacy first year second semester... really Phaimia... Organic Chemistry II, Biostatistics for Pharmacy, Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, Communication Skills, Basic Pharmacology & Immunopharmacology, Basic Medicinal Chemistry, & the dreaded Malaysian Studies... Lab works... assignments... CHOI! no use one...

Organic Chemistry, as usual, taught by Dr. Gabriel Akwoah, and our beloved Dr. Thet Thet Htar... alot of mechanisms to learn leh... cb! cb! cb! cb!... Biostatistics is taught by the funny Mr. Zaheer, the beautiful Ms. Saw Jun Tze, & the egg-headed Dr. Nelson... dunno what Dr. Nelson is teaching... cb! cb! cb! cb!... Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy is taught by the Dean's proud sister: Professor Dr. Noran Bt. Abdul Majid, the cute Ms. Mahmati, and Dr. Thet Thet Htar... why so many things to learn one? cranial nerve 1, cranial nerve 2, etc. cb! cb! cb! cb!... Communication Skills by Mr. Jony Liem... but for Patient Counselling, got seven lecturers to guide us because it is a one-to-one evaluation: Mr. Jony himself, Ms. Saw, Ms. (Garfield) Hong Li Wen, Ms. Lyna Irrawati, Mr. Zaheer, Ms. Mahmati, and Ms. Rexy Joseph... cb! cb! cb! cb!... Basic Pharmacology & Immunopharmacology was taught by Mr. Naidu and Ms. Priya... Phase I & Phase II reations... cb! cb! cb! cb!... Basic Medicinal Chemistry by Mr. Lokesh and Dr. Thet again... what is Mr. Lokesh talking about? sounds alot like Indian... Dr. Thet again... cb! cb! cb! cb!

Lifestyle... can say change alot... for better or worse, it has definitely changed... I no longer stay in the hostel... I thought life would be better staying outside... but no... have to wake up earlier in the morning... and have to jam to school... cb! cb! cb! cb! Frienship wise... made some new close friends in the Pharmacy class... old friends, I never forget them... but someone felt hurt because I mix with her less nowadays after finding better clicks... She said I do not know how to cherish her... cb! cb! cb! cb!... she did not tell me of course, but she told my cousin... I hope she would have the guts to come up to me and tell me so...

Basically, she is one of those perfectionists, and very EDUCATED person who cannot even say the word 'BABI' which is pig in malay... which is very hard to cope with them in life...cb! cb! cb! cb!... doing experiments, she is very concerned about the lab results... if there is only a slight error, it is death for her... come on laa, even if our results do not turn out good, it doesn't mean we will not get marks... there is such a section called Discussions where we can mention about errors... this way we can learn even more... cb! cb! cb! cb! nevermind that, what is worse, she said I do not know how to cherish her as a friend... Firstly, let me ask you, how you know I do not cherish you as a friend? How sure are you? cb! cb! cb! cb!... Secondly, you tell me, how do you expect someone to cherish a friend? what is the correct way of cherishing a friend? ha? tell la... cb! cb! cb! cb!...

Ah... enough laa... The full tale of this case should be told in another blog in the future... not this one... anyway, why give so much credit to her? but finishing words, she is stubborn loner... and there is no way anyone can change her... she can never change herself also... if she continues to be like that, let her be... it is her life... let her have it her way... cb! cb! cb! cb!... Scorpios are the most dangerous of all Stars... they have powerful poisonous stings which can kill all other Stars... but there is one Star that can kill them... the one that bears the Bow and an Arrow: Sagittarius... Sagittarians are the only ones that are able to overcome Scorpios...

Then there comes this Tale of Joe Joe & Chia Chia... at first... Chia Chia treated Joe Joe as a good buddy... and Chia Chia knew that Joe Joe had broken up just recently... so Chia Chia tried to do everything to make Joe Joe happy... Valentine's gifts... dinners... bla bla bla... Chia Chia should have known that Joe Joe would had a crush on Chia Chia... and Chia Chia should have resisted Joe Joe's proposal for a relationship... because... Joe Joe might not be ready for a new relationship... and Joe Joe truely wasn't really ready for a relationship... cb! cb! cb! cb!... There are sweet & bitter & fiery memories in this tale which should also be told in another blog, but thanks to Cb4... Chia Chia do not need to suffer so long... cb! cb! cb! cb!...

My First Family in UCSI are away attending postings... I was so sad when Xin Thien, Jo Lyn & Robin are not around... but, fortunately, and surprisingly, I have found a Second Family in the School of Pharmacy... a rather big one... 'Jay' Chow Soon Yee... Cantonese Leng Lui from Cheras... Pang Wen Chian... Hakka Baby Monkey from Segamat... Tang Sia Chin... HockChew Lang from Labis... Tan Sing Shia... Hokkien Mak Ee Poh from Banting... and Wong Sue Zin... HaiLam Xiang ChaBor from Ipoh... Good there there is a P in this family... someone in common with me... yeah! cb! cb! cb! cb!...

The School of Pharmacy

Pharmacy has been my all time favourite thing to do since it is a health science and it deals alot with Chemistry... This school... the School of Pharmacy... is one of the hardest school to enter... it took me lots of trouble to be admitted into this programme...

The Blue Door... Students, as I have expected, are less friendly than in Medicine... they are selfish... they think of themselves only... they never did share their knowledge and experiences... they are so s******... Even if they are friendly, but at a cost... Sincerity is no longer an important thing... nor is it valuable... selfishness is the main thing... self cometh first... Many types of people are there... and they are more evil than they are sincere... With friends like that who needs enemies?

Well... erm... got admitted into the programme about one month late (again)... I still remember the day one of the Records Office staff spoke to me saying, "Now, it is not we do not want to let you take up Pharmacy... it is whether you can catch up or not..." F*** you laa! At first do not want to let me in, now say this 'fei hua' pulak...

Then, the first class I attended was Chemistry... General Chemistry... oh... Ms. Prema... funny and erm... clumsy... Come on, even I'm the last student to be admitted into this programme, doesn't mean that I will be so blur... she thought I got in the wrong class... Well... at least, Poh Leen was sitting at the back, so I sat next to her... She was the first person I spoke to in class... Next session was Introductory Physiology... and of all things, Quiz on that day... adoi... die...

Next day, Microbiology Practical... Got assigned to the last group since it was still not fully occupied... San San, Von Yi, and Kevin... This was a funny group... funny and not united... San San - being like a 'dai ga je' mostly dominates the practical session... being strict and serious... ok... no need to be so fierce laa... and her standard seemed high... too high for me... so I do not really dare make any fuss... I didn't really cared much about the practical group... Von Yi - blur queen... well... maybe she did not do Biology in her A-Levels... but also because she wasn't really sure of what to do and Pharmacy is not actually what she wanted to do... She was the first to leave the class... Kevin - whoa! blur king... really very blur... practical reports must never be done by him... won't comment too much... no wonder San San was so stressed and strict laa...

Well... most of the guys who appear to be normal in the class speaks Cantonese when they are together... I didn't get along well with them although I tried because my Cantonese is week... Even though I told them I do not really understand Cantonese, but they still speak to me in Cantonese... I am really angry!!!

Then, Health Care and Pharmacy lesson... what the hell... Mr. Zaheer asked me what my name was and I answered Desmond... he heard Jasmine... well... a good laugh for the class huh! Then came the time for us to find a partner for the Foster Parent project... well... tried to find a partner but erm... failed... maybe because I joined the class late and I had not really spent enough time with them... on this hour hence forth, I never will love this class... the hatred for Pharmacy students developed in me... I will no longer make any effort to get to know any of you any further...

Slowly... I began to get used to the class environment... though I do not like it... One by one... I observed... and to my dismay, what I expected came true... I did make a few friends... Poh Leen... Jen Ni (Stephenie - Staphylococcus)... Hui Zhong (wow... piano 'shi fu')... But, there was one thing unexpected... I became quite close to San San... Now, this is very very unlikely to happen... on the first day, I wasn't really comfortable with San San... but as days passed, I do not know how I became so close to her...

One event I remembered was... one evening, I was to follow Gim Huan, Xiang Rong, and Xian Lai to the gym... but my roommate, David, asked me to return an overdued book... so I went to the library first before heading to the gym... there, I met San San... I was supposed to go straight away to the gym after returning the book... but seeing her alone and left behind, I accompanied her... she was supposed to go home that day but since nobody can send her to the bus station, the plan was abandoned... She asked me to join her for dinner... so I thought well... after accompanying her for dinner, I may still go back to the gym... but no... I had dinner with her and sent her back to her house in Cheras... and we talked and talked and talked of many things... I decided to loan her my Nokia 6610i since her 8250 was not in good condition... and it would be dangerous if she was to be left alone... what if she needs to make an urgent call? Her 8250 couldn't work without her hands-free... even with it, it was not functioning properly...

There were many things that made her not happy... many conflicts... between family members... friends... housemates... and also academic pressures... I couldn't do much... all I could do was just to be there to listen to what she says... I mean to listen to her problems... to be there to let her blurt out every uneasiness or unhappiness or dissatisfaction of her heart... I made a mistake before... there was a time when she was really pressured and stressed... I insisted on her telling me what happened and who caused her to be so miserable... until... she cried...

Lecturers... hmmm... some are kind... some are not... majority are good laa...

Ms. Prema - well... clumsy... funny... stupid... sometimes I pity her lorr... teaching us General Chemistry... wow... going to fail liao...

Ms. Priya - prettier than Ms. Prema... quite friendly... a nice person to talk to... the Microbiology lecturer...

Dr. Gabriel Akyirem Akouwah - Another Dr. Opabola Babatunde on the making... at least he does not have Dr. Opa's bad temper... but his English is still Negroish... Nice person to talk to also... Organic Chemistry...

Dr. Thet Thet Htar - 'Relative' of Dr. Maung Maung San... nola... just because they come from Myanmar and they both have common names... wow... Dr. Thet... PhD. in Medicinal Chemistry... she has a slim physique for a lady who has already delivered at least a baby... good to talk to... Asked her about Tenormin (thanks to Sister Linda) and Clarinase (Thanks to my mother) before... hehe... teaches us Aromacity in Organic Chemistry...

Ms. Hong Li Wen - adoi... this B****... snobbish... stupid lecturer of Clinical Pharmacy... When she is nice, she is very nice to you... when her 'wind' is not good... WATCH OUT!!!

Mr. Zaheer - teaches us Health Care... Master in Clinical Pharmacy... funny fellow... good to talk to also... asked him about Spironolactone... quite amazed that I, as a first year Pharmacy student, would know that Spironolactone (Aldactone) is a potassium-sparing diuretic... thanks to Uncle Peng... ^^

Mr. Naidu - a lecturer from India... Master in Pharmacology... a very nice person to talk to...

Ms. Wong Kuan Yau - a lecturer from Penang... teaches Physiology... nice and hardworking... she was really nice to me... helped me along the way... and gave me hints when I needed them... hehe... when? I cannot tell...

Mr. Irsan Lim - well... good to talk to but still, not really that friendly... gives lectures on Pharmaceutical Biotechnology...

Prof. Dr. Noran Bt. Abdul Majid - wow... the Dean's sister... giving lectures on Physiology discipline... heard that she is very very efficient... a very nice person though...

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Yeong Siew Wei - the Head of the School of Pharmacy... beautiful lady... quite nice to talk to also... asked her about Atenolol (thanks to Sister Linda) and Pseudoephidrine (thanks to my mother) too... hehe... quite amazed that I would ask such advance question... She gives lectures on Cancer Chemotherapy...

Well... I still hold to the 'Yin Yang' principle... in good communities, there is a small section of evil... even in evil communities, there is still a small section of light... This will be in equilibrium... The class has more evil than good... but doesn't mean that all are evil... those evil ones... I will not speak of them here... they know who they are... if your name is not stated, it doesn't mean you are evil... and it does not mean you're good also... and, one more thing... those who I dislike or dislike me, you are not necessary evil...

more to come...

...For the world has grown full of peril... And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief...

The School of Medicine

Well... it is the first school in tertiary education that I am enrolled in... 41 students set out in this programme to become Medical Doctors... and until now, 36 are left... One dropped out, into the School of Pharmacy, one went to Ukraine, one went to IMU, one went to UNIMAS, and another went to either Public University or IMU...

It began with 41 students... Angela, Christopher, Noah, Jeevan, Alex, Randeep, Ravin, Raynuga, Nelson, Sugunah, Vaisnavi, Suhashini, Nithya, Kelvin, Ei Leen, Sarah, Liang Yoong, Aida, Siong Keat, Nazihah, Rou Ying, Hui Ying, Bsheri, Sia Hui, Joe, Khai Yang, Kim Hoon, Wen Keat, Kevin, Han Shu, Swee Im, May Ching, Shin Miin, Kang How, Xin Thien, Jo Lyn, Robin, and I...

I came into the School of Medicine nervously because I am more introvert than I am extrovert... More over, I am now in KL... oh my God... no longer in Penang... so I need time to adjust and adapt to the lifestyle here... it took me about two weeks to recover from home sickness... one week to get along with some of the students there... I came into this school together with Christopher... we were the last to be admitted to the Medical programme... wow... lots to catch up since we were already one month behind...

The first week for me was kind of terrible... everything was like just out of thin air... I wasn't adapting well... and I wrote what I felt in my journal to Mr. Sylvester, our lecturer for Behavioural Science and Communication Skills... now, he is one nice guy but I have a fear for him from the first day I met him until now... Quite a handsome fellow for his age... hehe... some girls in the course said that he looked like Andy Lau... oh... However, I owe him very much... He had been helping me achieve what I wanted... But I guess I let him down...

Lucky for me I was assigned David as my roommate... now, this David is a Pharmacy student who wanted to do Medicine so much... but he couldn't get in... For me, I wanted to do Pharmacy so much but I failed to get in also... What to do? Anyway, I never had a roommate before, and I am lucky to get a roommate like him... He has been really good to me... We've been tolerating each other very well and I really think he tolerated me more than I did... keke... well, he is one that knows about my 'p' world thing although I told him quite later than the other three Medical students...

The subjects, for me... ah... tolerable laa... since I am more interested in Pharmacy, then my favourite subjects in Medicine would be Physiology and Pharmacology... slowly, I was getting along quite well with other students... though I know some dislikes me... Well... erm... we (about 10 of us) went eating barbecue-steamboat buffet... we went to 1 Utama... Then, we went pasar malam on Wednesday nights together... Played badminton together... Celebrate course mate's birthday...

I can still remember, though I was still not very close with the Medical students, I joined some of them to celebrate Han Shu's birthday at Leisure Mall... they rented a Piano room for Han Shu as a surprise for her because they know... Han Shu love to play the Piano... Thanks to Xin Thien's efforts to organise it and it was a success... Back at the hostel, we sang her a birthday song with her favourite fruit cake for her to blow and feast on...

There was a time when they had a bigger birthday party for both June & July babies... which I did not attend due to some matters... I missed it... and it is gone... I do not have anymore chances to celebrate wtih them as a team... under the banner of the School of Medicine... As for Khai Yang's birthday... I betrayed the students by hiding Khai Yang in my room... so they could not find him... well, his birthday was the most erm... fun... everyone played until they went crazy... nearly everyone was wet...

One night after pasar malam-ing, I joined Xin Thien, Jo Lyn, and Robin for dinner... that time, something really bothered me... it is very personal... too personal to publish it here... I wasn't really happy... I couldn't come to accept a fact... I actually cried... I didn't really want to tell them at first... but it seems like this is not getting me anywhere if I do not voice up what is inside... So I decided to let them know... they have been my best friends ever here... I do not have any secrets when I am with them... they are the ones that know things about my 'p' world... And I go to them whenever I needed someone to listen to what I am about to say... or when I needed council...

Well, I definitely enjoyed the classes and PBL together with Medical students... they are friendly... more sincere than any other students I know of... The School of Medicine is like a haven... students are friendly... but not only that... Lecturers too are friendly...

Prof. Dato' Dr. Roslani - the Dean of the School of Medicine, Nursing, and Pharmacy... well he interviewed me... when I was in the interview, he wasn't terrifying at all... He was warm... I don't know... some of the students said that he was quite cold and sarcastic... but no... he was fine to me... I wasn't scared at all when interviewed by him... bit I made him angry once... that was when I wanted to switch over to the School of Pharmacy... now he was furious... but eventually, he released me...

Dr. Opabola Babatunde - although 'head-wind' and bad tempered, try speaking to him... he is a good person... a great Nigerian to talk to... really... he can really get very friendly with you... well, I can still remember he loves nuts... especially cashewnuts... his part is mainly Microbiology and Epidemiology...

Dr. Maung Maung San - wow... a Surgeon from Myanmar... he has been a lectuer for Biotechnology and Food Science & Nutrition, and now he is in the School of Medicine... while he is teaaching, it he sounded as if he was singing... his part is mostly Anatomy... Well, Dr. Maung... a good person to talk to...I went to him for long talks about lifestyles in Myanmar and his experiences as a Doctor and Surgeon...

Dr. Abdul Hadi B. Abdullah - a very friendly and happy go lucky lecturer... cute and abit childish... haha... oops... hehe... well... he was kind enough to help me get some things done... he took me to Bandar Damansara once... :) his part is mainly Physiology and Immunology...

Prof. Dr. Zabidah Bt. Ismail - now she is my favourite lecturer... and I am her faovurite student... She is a Pharmacist... specialising/PhD. in Pharmacology... she was the other one that interviewed me... she was the one I always go to... to talk about many many things... things of life... drugs...medicine... pharmacy... all those... She did help me in many things also... thanks to her son, Razli, who took Dr. Hadi and I to Bandar Damansara... She asked me to join the Medical students to the National Pharmaceutical Beuro of Malaysia even though I am no longer one... she even gave me cakes and cookies for Hari Raya... haha... well... you will never get hungry in her room... :)

Dr. Aishah - this lecturer, does not really like me from the beginning until the end... but she is just being her... of all lecturers, she is the strictest... her part is mainly Biochemistry, Haematology and Basic Pathology... A nice lady to talk to... she is willing to share her experiences with any of us... and she is willing to help if any of us goes to her...

well... more to come... :)

...we are here to study together, to go through hardships together and to pass with flying colours as a team...

An Opening... An Introductory Opening...

Well... this is my first blog since I do not really have time in the past to write blogs, and now, holidays are here, at least I have time to pen my blog...

I am definitely not happy with my life... no matter how luxurious it is... This is not how I want my life to be like... Some things are certain... However, there are certain things in life that can never be changed... But... it is not for anyone to choose... The best one can do is just to live life to its fullest... looking things at the bright side... Though I've not gone through as many things as you all might have gone through, but I am in a way tired of my life...

Well, just to summarise what has happened this year... hmm... firstly, I met many new people in my my life... Angelic... Devilish... Puppets... Mask-wearers... Snakes... Foxes... Wolves... Doves... Rabbits... all sorts laa... Up from the North where I came from... Down South... from the Far East... and from the West and Central... and also, from the most famous spot in the map of the world - PENANG ISLAND!!! Glad am I to meet some people that I can really trust...

It has been slightly more than half a year I am here in KL... Never before have I thought I would leave my dear island... I started off by enrolling myself in the Medical course in May together with my dear friend, Christopher... Now, that is a guy who really wanted to do Medicine... on the other hand, Pharmacy favours me more as it has alot of Chemistry applied... I thought I could learn to love Medicine... so I stayed in the Medical course for one semester... However, I found that I am not really keen on doing Medicine... a Doctor is not what I really want to be... So I switched to Pharmacy... Now... I am thinking of doing Pure Chemistry... ahh... I don't know...

So, in a way, I have met various types of people... I do not make friends in my college only... I did socialise with the people outside my college too... though I label myself 'antisocial'... hehe...

Well, then come to what I like to do... hmm... I don't know... most people consider me strange... I like listening to music... My taste differs greatly from most people of my age... if I like a song/music, I will like it... I do not really like Hard Rock, Rap, Hip Hop, or Techno music... but... I like Jay Chou's music... haha... Don't know how I can love his work so much even some of his Rap songs... used to hate him alot... then I listen to The Corrs... Spice Girls... hmm... I listen to Teresa Teng's songs also... and Butterfly Lovers Violin Concerto... Pachelbel's Canon in D Major... if the song/music can get me to feel something, take me somewhere, or to trigger my imagination, then I'm sticking with it... forever... yes, I do not get bored of the songs I love...

Making music is another thing I like though I do not have the talent... My favourite instrument is the Violin... and I know basic Violin only (I didn't even take any examination)... so I guess that is why most people do not want to duet with me... the Piano is another instrument that I am beginning to love this year... thanks to my Pharmacy coursemate, Hui Zhong, I can play one song... :)

Going shopping... hmm... yeah... quite fun too... though I don't really fancy hopping... hehe...

Places like beaches, woods, highlands, waterfalls, streams... ahh... these places are my favourite... a place where everything seems to be in Harmony... a place to relax your heart, body and mind... to listen to the relentless chorous of the forest... mind-tingling flowing of water running along the stream... to breathe the uncontaminated air refreshed by the mighty trees... to watch the white clouds upon the blue sky... storks are seen gliding gracefully among the clouds... to see the vivid vision-friendly lushing green grasses on the meadow with flowers of various species and colours upon the vivid green carpet... ponds with lillies of white, pink, and purple... water birds floating on the mirror-surface of the pond... rabbits hopping around the meadow... deer and horses prancing through a silver storm... and at night, to lay on the soft and comfortable greenish carpet with eyes upon the clear sky... if it were a moonless night, stars filled the sky like jewels... they shine lights that lit the sky... Mysterious feeling... Caves give mysterious feelings too... I have a very funny and comfortable feeling when I am in one...

Food & Beverages... ahh... I eat alot... adoi... getting fatter... Chinese, Japanese, Thai... many many many others... hehe... I am a food seeker... so erm... Where ever I go, I need to find good food... good as in the taste... not the nutrition... hahaha... I have a passion for drinking too... haha... but unfortunately, I do not have enough exposure to alcohol - thanks to somebody who always wants to keep me safe, not letting me experience several dangerous things... Well, milk is one of my favourite alongside with fruit juices... emm... anything liquid laa... :)

well... this is the end for this Introductory Opening... hehe... look for more in blogs to come...

...So do all who live to see such times... but that is not for them to decide... All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us...