As the condition of my sickness is about the same, though it improves little, I managed to make myself go to college today. I decided to see the doctor and so, I skipped the Maths tutorial. To my horror, the clinic would only be open at 10 a.m. and it was then 9 a.m., so I went to the library until it was time for Chemistry. Then I went to the lecture room, which was empty and dark at first. Being the first student there, of course, I switched on everything including the lights and air-cond. Then came Ms. Rebecca, and she knew I skipped Maths again. :)
The whole of today I was filled with stars and I didn't pay much attention in Ms. Rebecca's class. I was talking happily with Billy and Chew Weng instead. Then came Mr. Hoe's class, but I went to see the doctor instead. While waiting at the clinic to be registered, I made a new friend. Her name's Luana, a beautiful mixed girl from a place that brightens up my feelings, Cheras! Taman Taynton View! And then I was blabbling about Cheras when she mentioned about UCSI, which she in the whole of last year. Much to my delight, though I had not met her, I felt glad that at least there was someone who had been in the same college as I before in this place called AIMST.
I was then called to enter the doctor's clinic, and she said: 'have a great time' and I was like thinking, what a great time I would have! The doctor was a female Indian and she was quite blur. I felt funny when she did not take my temperature and she asked me whether had I got fever. I told her that I did not know and I just felt warm. Then I told her I had phelgm though I didn't cough that frequent, and a block nose. I oversaw the prescription she wrote - Loratadine 1/1 o.n. 3/7. I mentioned to her that I took a combination drug of pseudoephedrine and loratadine the night before and had not much effect. She wanted to give me piriton instead and she told me: 'no, loratadine is a different class than the pseudoephedrine that you took.' Hoy! I did tell you that I took a combination drug right? Stupid!
Exam is around the corner and I am prepared for only one subject. Guess I have to do what I did back then. Study intensely during study week. I remembered how I studied during study week for General Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, Medicinal Chemistry, and Pharmacology & Immunopharmacology. Which I passed without much difficulty. Unlike Microbiology, Physiology, Peripheral Nervous System & Therapy, Communication Skills and Health Care, which I had to struggle, and of course, not forgetting the subject I dread most - Biostatistics which I failed. XD It was fun back then though. Hope it would be too this time!
Flowers of UCSI
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Return to Semeling
I should be in Ms. Yuverani's tutorial now but since I am not feeling well, might as well just take a self-declared holiday as today's lectures and tutorials are mostly subjects I love and strong in. After the dangerous trip to Yala, I stayed at home doing nothing for the following two days. Then, on Saturday, Ken, Mic, and Yik arrived from Kuching and as according to the plan, they were to stay in my house for one night before going back to Semeling the next day.
However, on Saturday, my car's cooling system broke down, and my father's is in town so in the end i had to borrow my cousin's slk to fetch them. It was kind of a bumpy ride as they brought more things than before. My, you should have seen how their 'things reproduced'. So we stayed in the house until the car had been fixed. However, the car couldn't be fixed completely, so I had to use my father's car to bring everyone back to Semeling.
Well, of course, before going back to Semeling, we went to a few places in Penang. Since Ken and Mic wants to do some shopping, where else? Gurney Plaza and Prangin Mall is where I took them to. Poor Yik, he had to endure much. Other than shopping, I took them to Swatow Lane to have 'ais kacang', and Botanical Gardens to see monkey. Well, someone was not afraid of monkey attack and he taunted the monkeys. Watch out leh... After a tiring day spent at Penang, finally it is time to go back to Semeling, much to Yik's liking.
On Saturday night, I went online for a while. Then I saw Ah San's msn account being online. I messaged her and she straight away invited me to have a web-cam conversation. How nice it was to see that she was there studying with Sing Shia. I could still remember when I was back there. I was there, in the same room with Sing Shia and Sue Zin studying Communication Skills. Then I thought back of the times when Sing Shia and I went to Sue Zin's unit at around 2 a.m. to study Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, which the exam is on 9 a.m. the same day. 3 a.m. we went McD to eat. Crazy. When my dear 'wife' Wen Chian heard what we did, she commented on us being crazy. XD
I arrived in SP 7 p.m. in the evening, exhausted. I bathed, changed, and online. Then, I had dinner, then I was off to bed. I woke up this morning, having a blocked nose and I felt light-headed and drained of all energy. What could I do? I was debating against myself whether to go or not. In the end, I felt lazy and uncomfotable, so I ignored the idea of going to lectures. Then, in the afternoon, Ken smsed me saying that there is a pop-quiz for Chemistry. Instead of being in distress, I was like: "Ahh... rubbish... chap siau ee..."
However, on Saturday, my car's cooling system broke down, and my father's is in town so in the end i had to borrow my cousin's slk to fetch them. It was kind of a bumpy ride as they brought more things than before. My, you should have seen how their 'things reproduced'. So we stayed in the house until the car had been fixed. However, the car couldn't be fixed completely, so I had to use my father's car to bring everyone back to Semeling.
Well, of course, before going back to Semeling, we went to a few places in Penang. Since Ken and Mic wants to do some shopping, where else? Gurney Plaza and Prangin Mall is where I took them to. Poor Yik, he had to endure much. Other than shopping, I took them to Swatow Lane to have 'ais kacang', and Botanical Gardens to see monkey. Well, someone was not afraid of monkey attack and he taunted the monkeys. Watch out leh... After a tiring day spent at Penang, finally it is time to go back to Semeling, much to Yik's liking.
On Saturday night, I went online for a while. Then I saw Ah San's msn account being online. I messaged her and she straight away invited me to have a web-cam conversation. How nice it was to see that she was there studying with Sing Shia. I could still remember when I was back there. I was there, in the same room with Sing Shia and Sue Zin studying Communication Skills. Then I thought back of the times when Sing Shia and I went to Sue Zin's unit at around 2 a.m. to study Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, which the exam is on 9 a.m. the same day. 3 a.m. we went McD to eat. Crazy. When my dear 'wife' Wen Chian heard what we did, she commented on us being crazy. XD
I arrived in SP 7 p.m. in the evening, exhausted. I bathed, changed, and online. Then, I had dinner, then I was off to bed. I woke up this morning, having a blocked nose and I felt light-headed and drained of all energy. What could I do? I was debating against myself whether to go or not. In the end, I felt lazy and uncomfotable, so I ignored the idea of going to lectures. Then, in the afternoon, Ken smsed me saying that there is a pop-quiz for Chemistry. Instead of being in distress, I was like: "Ahh... rubbish... chap siau ee..."
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Introductory Clinical Tan Chemistry
My dear... I've got a younger sister, now only I know... her name's Qiu Ping... Same surname with me somemore... wah... everyday bombard me with Chemistry doubts until I don't know how to answer. Good leh, at least got someone to bug me with Chemistry, my passion. Eh, lil' sis, holiday leh, still bombard me with questions? hehe. Basically, the questions she asked were regarding atomic and ionic size of the elements of the periodic table. I am kind of happy having you as a sister! ^^
After Gwen's wedding dinner, of course, cousins would gather for mahjong cum gossip session. Then I took them to Gurney Plaza for window shopping (hehe, no money leh). All the while, messages were flooding into my sms inbox from various people and various places - SP, Alor Star, Setapak, Wangsa Maju, Cheras, Sibu, Segamat, JB, Ipoh, PJ, and even Sitiawan. They came, thought not on the same time but came consistently. My cousins, especially Robert/Liang Wern, couldn't stand it and he started to joke sarcastically.
Then cometh the time for my grandmother to journey home to Yala, known for danger of bombs. Actually, my uncle invited me to join him for a hike up Penang Hill on Tuesday morning but unfortunately, that was the day my grandmother planned to go back and I was to drive her until at the most Hadyai. So we set out early in the morning, well, not really early though, but around 9:30 a.m. like that la. Then reached Hadyai about before noon. We went straight to my aunt, Lay Choo's house, after praying at the Monkey God temple, then went shopping.
Suddenly, when it comes to the question on whether how should grandmother go back to Yala, many suggestion came: taxi, follow friend's car, bla bla bla. In the end, I thought, it had been a long time since I last set foot on Yala, which was about nine months - wow, a pregnant lady would have also given birth. It was also because of my grandfather. So in the end, I drove into Yala. I thought back of what I told my uncle: I will not drive into Yala. Now, I drove in.
So it was kind of a funny ride there as half-way, my grandmother asked me whether I could drive or not, and I answered, if I couldn't then? Would she drive it for me? Then she kept quiet and say she would ask my mother's youngest brother, Vinit/Keong, to come and drive instead. When asked about what would be of Keong's car, she said just leave it there. Of course, three of us had a good laugh at it. Then we reached Yala at about 6 p.m. then of course, we went shopping again despite the fear of being bombed. It was quite nice to see familiar faces of long I had not seen though I could only see them for a short while. Then the next day, it was the day for me to return to Penang. It was a bumpy and wet 6-hour drive with breaks and delays in between of course. In Nathawi, I went to the temple of the Goddess of Mercy to pray as it was also a very long time since I last visited the place. In Kedah and Penang, it was raining heavily that afternoon.
To share something about a student in AIMST, let us call him Bird Bird. This Bird Bird guy seems to be friendly but words of sacarsm comes out of his mouth each time he speaks. He is my senior in AIMST (only by education, not by age which makes him similiar to CBB). Twice he saw me in the library reading some books related to Medicine and he started teasing me about me reading materials out of the syllabus (both of us are presently foundation students). Twice! I just kept quiet and told him that I just read those things for the project I was doing - Phenylketonuria of Biology presentation though the exact reason was for interest. I found out that he too, were browsing through books like Physiology, Anatomy and Clinical Medicine. Well, it is like the pot calling the kettle black!
The third time, I was really looking for the meaning of a word in the Medical dictionary and there he came again, with his pseudo-smart, trendy, tacky look. Then he started to shoot me again. This time, whatever it might had cost, I was not going to let him go just like this so easily. He started off by greeting politely, that was kind of not normal. I thought I could axe my plan of making fun of him, but then his usual self came - "Whoa! Medical Student already huh?!" I gave him a mild, bored glance and told him, well, foundation students can also browse these books for there was no rule in the library saying that those books were only for medical students.
He then tried to change the topic but wasn't good at it. He asked me, what subjects I normally read (those out of syllabus ones). He even gave me examples - oh, Biochemistry? Physiology? And I told him plainly, Pharmacology. To my surprise, he looked stunned, and he asked me what Pharmacology is, a sudden 'gladness' came into me (oh, how Evil I am). My heart began to laugh, if it was audible, then the whole library and the ones outside the periphery of the library border would had heard it. It was a good thing I did not mention Medicinal Chemistry or Therapeutics. Funny lah, he wanted to be in the Medicine programme but doesn't know what Pharmacology is. HA! You would have been closely referred to CBB the CIBAI BIN fellow (name starts with a V) if you had done more harm.
So I was just being courteous to be kind enough to explain to him what Pharmacology is. He asked me whether I wanted to be a Pharmacist, and I questioned him back, is Pharmacology only for Pharmacy students? He couldn't answer as he didn't know. Hey, Bird Bird, tell you something, though I failed many times until I end up in AIMST, though your STPM results might be better than mine, it doesn't mean you're more knowledgable than I am! No doubt I am older than you one year and though it doesn't mean that I know more than you but I definitely had seen more than you had. I may be your junior but I have learnt subjects and things equivalent to 1st year Medical Students and 2nd year Pharmacy Students. I was once a Medical student and Pharmacy student before! One word of caution: BETTER CHECK YOUR OPPONENT'S BACKGROUND BEFORE SPARKING A SARCASTIC JOKE!
I am far away from you all. Very far away. E-Jun, Max & Xiang Bin, miss you all very much but you may not trust me. All those from the TAR family, take good care of yourselves and hope you all find your lovers. Don't forget me that time yeah! XD Wei Keat (though I seldom speak to you now, doesn't mean I dislike you or forgotten about you) and other P-life friends, may you all be in well being yeah!
To mama and papa and all other MD's final exam is over now, so hope you're enjoying your holidays safely. My dears, needless for me to mention your names, & Hui Zhong, Sok Nee, Michelle, Ah San! and of course all those related, you all are busy preparing for war, 6 subjects right? Scientific English for Special Purposes, Antimicrobial Therapy I, Cardiovascular System & Pharmacotherapy, Physical Pharmacy I, Biochemistry for Pharmacy, and Dispensing & Compounding. Better perform well.
Cai Hong, Cheow Yee, Saw Ean & other Food Sc. & Nutrition & Biotech fellows, study well and may we meet each other in the working world. Music, BABA, Psycho, anything else lah... I know you all but can't possibly put all names here. All the best to you all. Jason, wish I could see you in KL one last time before you further your studies to UK. Geok Im, would have continued having dinner and park visits with you if I were still there, and if your boyfriend allows, that is. Jon, would have visited you more times if I were to have a chance to remain studying there.
I still do not feel right not mentioning my dears' names, hehehe... FooChew ne but don't know how to speak FooChew punya Cik Tang Sia Chin o (always say shut up shut up)... the big cannon liar mother MADAM Tan Sing Shia (NINNER time! want to have NINNER?)... so called super leng lui Chow Soon Yee xiu je (sao pei time!)... Cute and always adorable but dangerous White Lady Wong Sue Zin (cha boh... cha po)... and... last of all... but not least la... XD my dear 'wife' Ms. Pang... Wen Chian (WEE!!!)!!!
Back there, everything was fine. Though it was KL, a place known for many people treated like dogs if he/she doesn't have money, I did not feel so even though I am not from a wealthy family. Does anybody near me know how I feel? The humiliation that I feel? The laughter and sarcasm of most people younger than I am? The insult some so called 'seniors' made upon me? CIBAI BIN!
屋檐如悬崖风铃如沧海我等燕归来
时间被安排演一场意外你悄然走开
故事在城外浓雾散不开看不清对白
你听不出来风声不存在是我在感慨
梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我两鬓斑白
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我等你来
一身琉璃白透明着尘埃你无瑕的爱
你从雨中来诗化了悲哀我淋湿现在
芙蓉水面采船行影犹在你却不回来
被岁月覆盖你说的花开过去成空白
梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生...
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待
After Gwen's wedding dinner, of course, cousins would gather for mahjong cum gossip session. Then I took them to Gurney Plaza for window shopping (hehe, no money leh). All the while, messages were flooding into my sms inbox from various people and various places - SP, Alor Star, Setapak, Wangsa Maju, Cheras, Sibu, Segamat, JB, Ipoh, PJ, and even Sitiawan. They came, thought not on the same time but came consistently. My cousins, especially Robert/Liang Wern, couldn't stand it and he started to joke sarcastically.
Then cometh the time for my grandmother to journey home to Yala, known for danger of bombs. Actually, my uncle invited me to join him for a hike up Penang Hill on Tuesday morning but unfortunately, that was the day my grandmother planned to go back and I was to drive her until at the most Hadyai. So we set out early in the morning, well, not really early though, but around 9:30 a.m. like that la. Then reached Hadyai about before noon. We went straight to my aunt, Lay Choo's house, after praying at the Monkey God temple, then went shopping.
Suddenly, when it comes to the question on whether how should grandmother go back to Yala, many suggestion came: taxi, follow friend's car, bla bla bla. In the end, I thought, it had been a long time since I last set foot on Yala, which was about nine months - wow, a pregnant lady would have also given birth. It was also because of my grandfather. So in the end, I drove into Yala. I thought back of what I told my uncle: I will not drive into Yala. Now, I drove in.
So it was kind of a funny ride there as half-way, my grandmother asked me whether I could drive or not, and I answered, if I couldn't then? Would she drive it for me? Then she kept quiet and say she would ask my mother's youngest brother, Vinit/Keong, to come and drive instead. When asked about what would be of Keong's car, she said just leave it there. Of course, three of us had a good laugh at it. Then we reached Yala at about 6 p.m. then of course, we went shopping again despite the fear of being bombed. It was quite nice to see familiar faces of long I had not seen though I could only see them for a short while. Then the next day, it was the day for me to return to Penang. It was a bumpy and wet 6-hour drive with breaks and delays in between of course. In Nathawi, I went to the temple of the Goddess of Mercy to pray as it was also a very long time since I last visited the place. In Kedah and Penang, it was raining heavily that afternoon.
To share something about a student in AIMST, let us call him Bird Bird. This Bird Bird guy seems to be friendly but words of sacarsm comes out of his mouth each time he speaks. He is my senior in AIMST (only by education, not by age which makes him similiar to CBB). Twice he saw me in the library reading some books related to Medicine and he started teasing me about me reading materials out of the syllabus (both of us are presently foundation students). Twice! I just kept quiet and told him that I just read those things for the project I was doing - Phenylketonuria of Biology presentation though the exact reason was for interest. I found out that he too, were browsing through books like Physiology, Anatomy and Clinical Medicine. Well, it is like the pot calling the kettle black!
The third time, I was really looking for the meaning of a word in the Medical dictionary and there he came again, with his pseudo-smart, trendy, tacky look. Then he started to shoot me again. This time, whatever it might had cost, I was not going to let him go just like this so easily. He started off by greeting politely, that was kind of not normal. I thought I could axe my plan of making fun of him, but then his usual self came - "Whoa! Medical Student already huh?!" I gave him a mild, bored glance and told him, well, foundation students can also browse these books for there was no rule in the library saying that those books were only for medical students.
He then tried to change the topic but wasn't good at it. He asked me, what subjects I normally read (those out of syllabus ones). He even gave me examples - oh, Biochemistry? Physiology? And I told him plainly, Pharmacology. To my surprise, he looked stunned, and he asked me what Pharmacology is, a sudden 'gladness' came into me (oh, how Evil I am). My heart began to laugh, if it was audible, then the whole library and the ones outside the periphery of the library border would had heard it. It was a good thing I did not mention Medicinal Chemistry or Therapeutics. Funny lah, he wanted to be in the Medicine programme but doesn't know what Pharmacology is. HA! You would have been closely referred to CBB the CIBAI BIN fellow (name starts with a V) if you had done more harm.
So I was just being courteous to be kind enough to explain to him what Pharmacology is. He asked me whether I wanted to be a Pharmacist, and I questioned him back, is Pharmacology only for Pharmacy students? He couldn't answer as he didn't know. Hey, Bird Bird, tell you something, though I failed many times until I end up in AIMST, though your STPM results might be better than mine, it doesn't mean you're more knowledgable than I am! No doubt I am older than you one year and though it doesn't mean that I know more than you but I definitely had seen more than you had. I may be your junior but I have learnt subjects and things equivalent to 1st year Medical Students and 2nd year Pharmacy Students. I was once a Medical student and Pharmacy student before! One word of caution: BETTER CHECK YOUR OPPONENT'S BACKGROUND BEFORE SPARKING A SARCASTIC JOKE!
I am far away from you all. Very far away. E-Jun, Max & Xiang Bin, miss you all very much but you may not trust me. All those from the TAR family, take good care of yourselves and hope you all find your lovers. Don't forget me that time yeah! XD Wei Keat (though I seldom speak to you now, doesn't mean I dislike you or forgotten about you) and other P-life friends, may you all be in well being yeah!
To mama and papa and all other MD's final exam is over now, so hope you're enjoying your holidays safely. My dears, needless for me to mention your names, & Hui Zhong, Sok Nee, Michelle, Ah San! and of course all those related, you all are busy preparing for war, 6 subjects right? Scientific English for Special Purposes, Antimicrobial Therapy I, Cardiovascular System & Pharmacotherapy, Physical Pharmacy I, Biochemistry for Pharmacy, and Dispensing & Compounding. Better perform well.
Cai Hong, Cheow Yee, Saw Ean & other Food Sc. & Nutrition & Biotech fellows, study well and may we meet each other in the working world. Music, BABA, Psycho, anything else lah... I know you all but can't possibly put all names here. All the best to you all. Jason, wish I could see you in KL one last time before you further your studies to UK. Geok Im, would have continued having dinner and park visits with you if I were still there, and if your boyfriend allows, that is. Jon, would have visited you more times if I were to have a chance to remain studying there.
I still do not feel right not mentioning my dears' names, hehehe... FooChew ne but don't know how to speak FooChew punya Cik Tang Sia Chin o (always say shut up shut up)... the big cannon liar mother MADAM Tan Sing Shia (NINNER time! want to have NINNER?)... so called super leng lui Chow Soon Yee xiu je (sao pei time!)... Cute and always adorable but dangerous White Lady Wong Sue Zin (cha boh... cha po)... and... last of all... but not least la... XD my dear 'wife' Ms. Pang... Wen Chian (WEE!!!)!!!
Back there, everything was fine. Though it was KL, a place known for many people treated like dogs if he/she doesn't have money, I did not feel so even though I am not from a wealthy family. Does anybody near me know how I feel? The humiliation that I feel? The laughter and sarcasm of most people younger than I am? The insult some so called 'seniors' made upon me? CIBAI BIN!
屋檐如悬崖风铃如沧海我等燕归来
时间被安排演一场意外你悄然走开
故事在城外浓雾散不开看不清对白
你听不出来风声不存在是我在感慨
梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我两鬓斑白
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我等你来
一身琉璃白透明着尘埃你无瑕的爱
你从雨中来诗化了悲哀我淋湿现在
芙蓉水面采船行影犹在你却不回来
被岁月覆盖你说的花开过去成空白
梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生...
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待
Monday, October 23, 2006
Principles of Gwen-Vincent-al Chemistry
Where in the world have you been hiding?
Really you were perfect.
I only wish I knew your secret,
Who is this new tutor?
Father once spoke of an angel,
I used to dream he'd appear,
Now as I sing I can sense him,
And I know he's here.
Here in this room he calls me softly,
Somewhere inside...hiding.
Somehow I know, he's always with me,
he's the unseen genius.
Angel of music,
Guide and Guardian,
Grant to me you glory!
Angel of music,
Hide no longer,
secret and strange angel...
Saturday was Deepavali and there was something kind of more grand to me that night. The Wedding Dinner of my dear cousin, Gwendelyn and her quite recently met boyfriend, Vincent. Generally, they got married in Singapore a few days before and she treated us on Saturday, and, of all places, at Tanjung Paradise. OMG... But what to do? XD
In the afternoon, all of us went to Gwen's house for a tea-drinking ceremony. Everyone was there and I knew every single faces though since I am quite close to the family and I knew most of the extended family members and relatives (as I am connected directly to Gwen both sides and the Singapore Kia has no representitive here in Penang). Well, since Esther was not there and she was in Australia, we started a video conversation with her via MSN messenger so that she could see the events here. Of course, I chatted with most people there as I knew them. People from both sides refered to me as a directory, identifying people.
I knew that night I would be quite busy as they would assign some tasks for me to help lessen their burden. Upon reaching the hotel, I helped them to take some things up to their hotel room, then I descended back to the ballroom with Gwen's extra-ordinary smart and fussy sister, Junie. Then the kay-poh work started. Jasmine (Ah Hoon) was there to help ushering guests to assigned tables. Alongside Jasmine, there were of course Aunt Bee Choo and Uncle Tai Hai, Junie, my parents, and some aunty-aunty. Gwen's brother, Chai was busy taking pictures here and there and his girlfriend, Sylvene did some usherings also. Two of Gwen's friends sat on a bench, taking care of the guestbook.
I noticed something: the presence of a moth, medium sized, and the colour was brown. It was flying into the ballroom via the main entrance when I approached the entrance. Not to say superstitious, but this thought automatically came to me - the moth represented my late Great Grandmother, who was Gwen's paternal Grandmother, who loved her very much. After it flew inside, I lost sight of it but many said they saw and one of my relatives said she saw the moth on the bride's table, the main table together and the moth left about half-way through the dinner.
Back to my task that night, I was assigned something quite dangerous - taking care of angpows... Every angpow received was passed to me to be kept in a bag and I was to safe-guard it. Well, of course, 50-50 bargain la... hahaha... The dinner went smoothly and everyone was kind of happy there. Some played pranks on the bride and bridegroom. Uncle Kok Hoe was the coolest. He invited Gwen and Vin to join us for karaoke and asked them to treat us. Of course, they rejected XD. Uncle Kok Hoe then joked that it was ok if they felt they needed to rest earlier or go back to sum up the total angpow money, they could go and sign for one round then let us settle the rest XD. I do not know they rejected this or not but I told Uncle Kok Hoe, no need, as the angpows were still in my keeping. Then the whole crowd said ok then, ignore Gwen and Vin then. XD
After the dinner, I joined Kok Hoe and the rest: Emily (Xiao Yug) & boyfriend Foo, Jasmine & husband Swee Leong (or some people calls him Leon), Kok Hoe & wife Lee Er, Liang Wern, Celia, Jessie, Irene, Su Ling and husband Teik. We went to Baby Cafe and loitered there until 1:30 a.m.. We played a lame game there and it went like this: in a group, there was a glass, half-filled with beer. Everyone had to spin two dices and we went in turns. Everyother spins were ignored/passed exept: doubles (i.e. two threes), seven, eight, and night. If one rolled a seven, he/she had two choices, to pass or to add beer onto the glass of beer. If he/she did so, he/she had to spin the dices again. If one rolled an eight, he/she had to drink half the amount of beer present and he/she had to spin again. If nine, then the whole amount of beer present, and spin again. If double (except two fours which would add up to 8), the turn sequence was reversed.
Liang Wern, who doesn't drink, had enough that night. He rolled quite a number of 8s and 9s consistantly. Luckily he was not drunk. Kok Hoe, unfortunately, vomited as claimed by Emily. hahaha. It was quite a lame game but not bad. XD
Then the next day came. I would skip the dreadry morning I had as it involved my mother and I am actually tired of mentioning the problems between me and her. In the afternoon, we went to Ipoh with some aunty-aunty and went until late at night. As I entered Ipoh, I recalled the time I was there, in the Fair City of the White Lady Sue Zin. The trip was not very enjoyable and I got very irritated. We reached Penang at about 10:30p.m. and reached home around 11p.m., then it was off to mahjong with Liang Wern, Celia, and Jessie. We played mahjong and chatted/gossiped to around 3 a.m.. Then I went out to look up at the sky, there were stars. This was one of my favourite moments and I intended to share this moment and experience with a good friend of mine, Kenny, but what I got in the end? A scolding from him in the next morning.
Really you were perfect.
I only wish I knew your secret,
Who is this new tutor?
Father once spoke of an angel,
I used to dream he'd appear,
Now as I sing I can sense him,
And I know he's here.
Here in this room he calls me softly,
Somewhere inside...hiding.
Somehow I know, he's always with me,
he's the unseen genius.
Angel of music,
Guide and Guardian,
Grant to me you glory!
Angel of music,
Hide no longer,
secret and strange angel...
Saturday was Deepavali and there was something kind of more grand to me that night. The Wedding Dinner of my dear cousin, Gwendelyn and her quite recently met boyfriend, Vincent. Generally, they got married in Singapore a few days before and she treated us on Saturday, and, of all places, at Tanjung Paradise. OMG... But what to do? XD
In the afternoon, all of us went to Gwen's house for a tea-drinking ceremony. Everyone was there and I knew every single faces though since I am quite close to the family and I knew most of the extended family members and relatives (as I am connected directly to Gwen both sides and the Singapore Kia has no representitive here in Penang). Well, since Esther was not there and she was in Australia, we started a video conversation with her via MSN messenger so that she could see the events here. Of course, I chatted with most people there as I knew them. People from both sides refered to me as a directory, identifying people.
I knew that night I would be quite busy as they would assign some tasks for me to help lessen their burden. Upon reaching the hotel, I helped them to take some things up to their hotel room, then I descended back to the ballroom with Gwen's extra-ordinary smart and fussy sister, Junie. Then the kay-poh work started. Jasmine (Ah Hoon) was there to help ushering guests to assigned tables. Alongside Jasmine, there were of course Aunt Bee Choo and Uncle Tai Hai, Junie, my parents, and some aunty-aunty. Gwen's brother, Chai was busy taking pictures here and there and his girlfriend, Sylvene did some usherings also. Two of Gwen's friends sat on a bench, taking care of the guestbook.
I noticed something: the presence of a moth, medium sized, and the colour was brown. It was flying into the ballroom via the main entrance when I approached the entrance. Not to say superstitious, but this thought automatically came to me - the moth represented my late Great Grandmother, who was Gwen's paternal Grandmother, who loved her very much. After it flew inside, I lost sight of it but many said they saw and one of my relatives said she saw the moth on the bride's table, the main table together and the moth left about half-way through the dinner.
Back to my task that night, I was assigned something quite dangerous - taking care of angpows... Every angpow received was passed to me to be kept in a bag and I was to safe-guard it. Well, of course, 50-50 bargain la... hahaha... The dinner went smoothly and everyone was kind of happy there. Some played pranks on the bride and bridegroom. Uncle Kok Hoe was the coolest. He invited Gwen and Vin to join us for karaoke and asked them to treat us. Of course, they rejected XD. Uncle Kok Hoe then joked that it was ok if they felt they needed to rest earlier or go back to sum up the total angpow money, they could go and sign for one round then let us settle the rest XD. I do not know they rejected this or not but I told Uncle Kok Hoe, no need, as the angpows were still in my keeping. Then the whole crowd said ok then, ignore Gwen and Vin then. XD
After the dinner, I joined Kok Hoe and the rest: Emily (Xiao Yug) & boyfriend Foo, Jasmine & husband Swee Leong (or some people calls him Leon), Kok Hoe & wife Lee Er, Liang Wern, Celia, Jessie, Irene, Su Ling and husband Teik. We went to Baby Cafe and loitered there until 1:30 a.m.. We played a lame game there and it went like this: in a group, there was a glass, half-filled with beer. Everyone had to spin two dices and we went in turns. Everyother spins were ignored/passed exept: doubles (i.e. two threes), seven, eight, and night. If one rolled a seven, he/she had two choices, to pass or to add beer onto the glass of beer. If he/she did so, he/she had to spin the dices again. If one rolled an eight, he/she had to drink half the amount of beer present and he/she had to spin again. If nine, then the whole amount of beer present, and spin again. If double (except two fours which would add up to 8), the turn sequence was reversed.
Liang Wern, who doesn't drink, had enough that night. He rolled quite a number of 8s and 9s consistantly. Luckily he was not drunk. Kok Hoe, unfortunately, vomited as claimed by Emily. hahaha. It was quite a lame game but not bad. XD
Then the next day came. I would skip the dreadry morning I had as it involved my mother and I am actually tired of mentioning the problems between me and her. In the afternoon, we went to Ipoh with some aunty-aunty and went until late at night. As I entered Ipoh, I recalled the time I was there, in the Fair City of the White Lady Sue Zin. The trip was not very enjoyable and I got very irritated. We reached Penang at about 10:30p.m. and reached home around 11p.m., then it was off to mahjong with Liang Wern, Celia, and Jessie. We played mahjong and chatted/gossiped to around 3 a.m.. Then I went out to look up at the sky, there were stars. This was one of my favourite moments and I intended to share this moment and experience with a good friend of mine, Kenny, but what I got in the end? A scolding from him in the next morning.
Friday, October 20, 2006
SP, Penang, Sarawak & Pharmacotherapy
SP = Sungai Petani = Sao Pei = Stupid Place = Stewpid Place = Sarawak Penang
Finally, the break started. On Wednesday, everyone was like in no mood of studying as they couldn't wait to go home! Those going back KL were in a herd to go back together while others go separately. Most Sarakwakians had to travel to Penang to fly to KL, and hence back to their hometowns. Ken, Khim Yik, and Michelle came back to Penang with me on Wednesday and took their flight back to Sarawak on Thursday afternoon.
Basically, straight away after class, I drove back to Penang. It was about 5 p.m. when I left SP and I estimated we would reach at 7 p.m. but Khim Yik said we would reach by 6 as the traffic on the highway before reaching the Penang Bridge branch was quite smooth. However, upon reaching the toll, hell, it jammed. It took us half an hour just to pass the toll and another half an hour to just cross the bridge. My guess was correct back then that there was an accident on the bridge, because the jam was just no normal. The vehicles were moving too slow though it was peak hour where many people finish their work. Michelle got quite a shock seeing so many cars surrounding my SLK (Stewpid Little Kelisa) and the slow jamming traffic.
After the mid-point of the bridge, the traffic went smoothly. Well, after the bridge, there was still jam in the island. I forgot my keys, so I had to go to my aunt's place to get the keys first before I could go back to my house. Hell, just to cross a traffic light, I had to wait for 4 intervals before I could cross. Imagine I had to wait for at least 3 traffic lights!!! However, we reached my house finally, safe and sound. Then we bathed before going out to Gurney Plaza. They commented on my house being clean. Thank God they didn't complain about the things in my house. 3 people staying in a house but the things were like belonging to 6.
We managed to shop in MPH in Gurney as we went there too late. Khim Yik, as usual, was too hungry to shop, so I took him down to the hawker centre to have something to eat first. OMG... the things there were so expensive, and I felt bad having to bring him to eat there. After he had something, we went up to MPH to search for Ken and Michelle. While they were busy looking around, something caught my attention... Practical Drug Treatment and Clinical Pharmacokinetics. I took those books and went to the Reader's Circle and read there.
However, time did not allow me to do further research as the time to leave drew nigh. So, what to do? Leave lah... I then took them to Northam Beach Cafe for dinner cum supper. OMG... expensive again... but nevermind... they are rich people... As usual, Ken would take photos of all food everyone was having... his camera always eats the food before the rightful owner does. Then it was time to go home, but, before that, MUACHEE! Upon reaching home, there were 3 corns and many chicken drumsticks awaiting our return. So we feasted again on the small round mahjong dining table with a bottle of Coke. Full! Bloated!
Then, off to bed! Midnight - another nightmare. Khim Yik started hitting everyone around him in his sleep. Ken got hit twice and I was displaced from my position of my sleep. Originally Ken slept on Khim Yik's right while I slept on his left. When morning comes, Ken was on his left while I was on his right. Why? because we had to move in order to protect ourselves!!! Then, morning came. Everyone got ready and the three packed and got ready to go home! I then took them to Jelutong market, as usual, where I would take most of my friends to when they visited Penang. They are the third group of people. First being David and Shi Yi, second being Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian. This time, we had quite a lot of things - Khim Yik and Michelle took dried Wan Than Mee while Ken took Penang Hokkien Mee (Prawn Mee). I ordered Char Koay Teow (Ah Choo's) for them to try also. At least things are cheaper here. Then Ken wanted some toast and my father asked me whether we wanted roasted pork - who would resist?
After breakfast, we went round island before going to the airport. The time was just nice for us to do so and after round island, I sent them straight away to the airport, and I parted with them there. Well, though not that bitter a parting like when I parted from David and Shi Yi or Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian, but I did feel a bit heavy hearted to see them leave. However, they'll be back next week, so no worries... Then I went home after dropping them at the airport. I slept for a while then online. Well, made two new friends, one whose name is Kin, or so as he called himself, and another one whose name is also Desmond. Both are nice people though.
But I had to leave early as I was to go to the hairstylist. I dyed my hair red and got it cut short. Then I came straight back home... Then I did nothing but just wait for the time to pass by. Then I slept. Suddenly, I received a few messages from Kin and Bee Teng and Kenny. I was too blur to answer them so I just kept my reply short. Suddenly Kin called me and chatted with me for more than an hour or at least an hour. We talked about many things but mostly about me... then after that, Desmond called... for a while la... then both of them slept, leaving me alone, so now, I am typing this blog...
狼牙月伊人憔悴我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁红尘醉微醺的岁月
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪
Finally, the break started. On Wednesday, everyone was like in no mood of studying as they couldn't wait to go home! Those going back KL were in a herd to go back together while others go separately. Most Sarakwakians had to travel to Penang to fly to KL, and hence back to their hometowns. Ken, Khim Yik, and Michelle came back to Penang with me on Wednesday and took their flight back to Sarawak on Thursday afternoon.
Basically, straight away after class, I drove back to Penang. It was about 5 p.m. when I left SP and I estimated we would reach at 7 p.m. but Khim Yik said we would reach by 6 as the traffic on the highway before reaching the Penang Bridge branch was quite smooth. However, upon reaching the toll, hell, it jammed. It took us half an hour just to pass the toll and another half an hour to just cross the bridge. My guess was correct back then that there was an accident on the bridge, because the jam was just no normal. The vehicles were moving too slow though it was peak hour where many people finish their work. Michelle got quite a shock seeing so many cars surrounding my SLK (Stewpid Little Kelisa) and the slow jamming traffic.
After the mid-point of the bridge, the traffic went smoothly. Well, after the bridge, there was still jam in the island. I forgot my keys, so I had to go to my aunt's place to get the keys first before I could go back to my house. Hell, just to cross a traffic light, I had to wait for 4 intervals before I could cross. Imagine I had to wait for at least 3 traffic lights!!! However, we reached my house finally, safe and sound. Then we bathed before going out to Gurney Plaza. They commented on my house being clean. Thank God they didn't complain about the things in my house. 3 people staying in a house but the things were like belonging to 6.
We managed to shop in MPH in Gurney as we went there too late. Khim Yik, as usual, was too hungry to shop, so I took him down to the hawker centre to have something to eat first. OMG... the things there were so expensive, and I felt bad having to bring him to eat there. After he had something, we went up to MPH to search for Ken and Michelle. While they were busy looking around, something caught my attention... Practical Drug Treatment and Clinical Pharmacokinetics. I took those books and went to the Reader's Circle and read there.
However, time did not allow me to do further research as the time to leave drew nigh. So, what to do? Leave lah... I then took them to Northam Beach Cafe for dinner cum supper. OMG... expensive again... but nevermind... they are rich people... As usual, Ken would take photos of all food everyone was having... his camera always eats the food before the rightful owner does. Then it was time to go home, but, before that, MUACHEE! Upon reaching home, there were 3 corns and many chicken drumsticks awaiting our return. So we feasted again on the small round mahjong dining table with a bottle of Coke. Full! Bloated!
Then, off to bed! Midnight - another nightmare. Khim Yik started hitting everyone around him in his sleep. Ken got hit twice and I was displaced from my position of my sleep. Originally Ken slept on Khim Yik's right while I slept on his left. When morning comes, Ken was on his left while I was on his right. Why? because we had to move in order to protect ourselves!!! Then, morning came. Everyone got ready and the three packed and got ready to go home! I then took them to Jelutong market, as usual, where I would take most of my friends to when they visited Penang. They are the third group of people. First being David and Shi Yi, second being Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian. This time, we had quite a lot of things - Khim Yik and Michelle took dried Wan Than Mee while Ken took Penang Hokkien Mee (Prawn Mee). I ordered Char Koay Teow (Ah Choo's) for them to try also. At least things are cheaper here. Then Ken wanted some toast and my father asked me whether we wanted roasted pork - who would resist?
After breakfast, we went round island before going to the airport. The time was just nice for us to do so and after round island, I sent them straight away to the airport, and I parted with them there. Well, though not that bitter a parting like when I parted from David and Shi Yi or Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian, but I did feel a bit heavy hearted to see them leave. However, they'll be back next week, so no worries... Then I went home after dropping them at the airport. I slept for a while then online. Well, made two new friends, one whose name is Kin, or so as he called himself, and another one whose name is also Desmond. Both are nice people though.
But I had to leave early as I was to go to the hairstylist. I dyed my hair red and got it cut short. Then I came straight back home... Then I did nothing but just wait for the time to pass by. Then I slept. Suddenly, I received a few messages from Kin and Bee Teng and Kenny. I was too blur to answer them so I just kept my reply short. Suddenly Kin called me and chatted with me for more than an hour or at least an hour. We talked about many things but mostly about me... then after that, Desmond called... for a while la... then both of them slept, leaving me alone, so now, I am typing this blog...
狼牙月伊人憔悴我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁红尘醉微醺的岁月
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
我会好好过吗？
Finally finished PKU presentation for Biology and things seem to get lighter since holiday is near. Everyone is homesick and craving to go home. All cannot wait for Wednesday to come, then most would travel south or east. Well, it means I have to go back to the place I dread as much as I love - Penang Island.
Well, made new friends these few days with one called Kenny from SP. Now in such a short time, I had many miscommunications and misunderstandings with him. This results from me being too sensitive and his command of english being relatively ... ... not that wide. Well, not to say that I look down on him but misunderstandings between me and him do arise from this. Also, as a result of my unstable emotion state these few days, I tend to get extra-sensitive and emotional, thus misunderstandings arise.
Celebration of Sok Bee's birthday on last Friday night was kind of nice but I had another thing in mind. Everything was planned to begin at 10:45p.m. but I asked some people, namely those closer to me: Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng, Li Chi and Yuan Xin to come down half an hour earlier as I had something to tell them. Something to confess. Something I had been hiding from them for 3 months or so. It took me a lot of courage to tell them. I do not know what would their reaction be. I planned to do something I like with them before telling them as I was afraid that I do not have the chance to do that again with them - playing the violin. XD However, things did not go as I planned as there were other people around at that time and Li Chi wasn't around as she wasn't feeling well, so I postponed to after the birthday celebration, no matter how late. I begged them to stay back as I wanted to tell them that night. I do not wish to postpone this anymore.
Sok Bee's birthday celebration was a small one but also quite enjoyable at the same time. We hid ourselves behind the new cafeteria where all lights were out, and we lit the candle lights while waiting for her to come. Though belated, I hope she really enjoyed herself. Well, as usual, I gave a few simple violin pieces to everyone: 东风坡，Kiss Goodbye, and Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, with an extra 龙卷风 this round.
After that, I urged all of them to go back to their respective rooms while asking Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng and Yuan Xin to stay back. Li Chi did not respond to any of my calls, so be it that she was not meant to know that night. I felt so guilty so I apologised to them first as I have not been telling the truth to them. I have been hiding my P-life from them. I felt that it wouldn't be sincere if I were to keep on shielding it from them. I did not plan to do so earlier but since things gone haywire nowadays, I do not with to worsen the condition.
Telling them wasn't easy. The greatest obstacles there - fear and acceptance. I fear things would get worse and everyone would leave like electrons upon ionisation of the atom. Acceptance - could they accept my P-life, my past? Most are youngsters there, three years younger than I am. Exposure of friends and the mixture of the types of friends might not be diverse enough. I was just gambling that they've encountered such people with lives similar to mine before. Thus I told them. However, the condition I was in and the way I told them were not really nice.
I hope after they know my situation, they could understand me better or at least understand how I felt throughout this period of time and why my behaviour is the strangest amongst them. I hope now they understand why I could not let go of my life back in KL, where everything was so flawlessly perfect after a year there and suddenly all shattered into nothing - not even pieces nor powder. After one year struggling in KL to fit in and to get a coordinated happy-go-lucky life in KL, I finally found where I belong and my 'family' the CB-Sakai gang. Though only a short period of time, I felt as if I have been so close with them as if I were in their family. I felt accepted, fitted-in, I felt like I was meant to be there. Everything I could say out without having to think so much. I could just speak my heart out freely.
But things are not like that anymore. The perfect picture is shattered just like that just because of one paper - Biostatistics for Pharmacy. I can never forget this. It has really changed my life so drasticly. I could have remained back in KL but I chose this road. I feel very sad and bad. I chose this road because Pharmacy is still in my heart. As a result, I had to go through this life of dread. It was a very hard decision but I made it in a very short time. I gave up my a big part of my life - friends and love... I feel lifeless... Everything is like spent and dry...
Seeing some people over here really breaks my heart. People are good looking and they can read Pharmacy. I on the other hand is ugly and I can't even read Pharmacy. Failure. No match for them. No match for their stuck-up-ness also...
你的爱很像泡沫
太轻或太重 都不在手中
我的爱就像天空
太放或太收 你都只是风
你来过却爱上自由
你出走我不问理由
我会好好过 等你再爱我
总有个角落 会让你想起我
我会好好过 等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守候
你留下很多
够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重 纵使爱太弱
我会好好过 等你回头
会看到的一定是我
Well, made new friends these few days with one called Kenny from SP. Now in such a short time, I had many miscommunications and misunderstandings with him. This results from me being too sensitive and his command of english being relatively ... ... not that wide. Well, not to say that I look down on him but misunderstandings between me and him do arise from this. Also, as a result of my unstable emotion state these few days, I tend to get extra-sensitive and emotional, thus misunderstandings arise.
Celebration of Sok Bee's birthday on last Friday night was kind of nice but I had another thing in mind. Everything was planned to begin at 10:45p.m. but I asked some people, namely those closer to me: Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng, Li Chi and Yuan Xin to come down half an hour earlier as I had something to tell them. Something to confess. Something I had been hiding from them for 3 months or so. It took me a lot of courage to tell them. I do not know what would their reaction be. I planned to do something I like with them before telling them as I was afraid that I do not have the chance to do that again with them - playing the violin. XD However, things did not go as I planned as there were other people around at that time and Li Chi wasn't around as she wasn't feeling well, so I postponed to after the birthday celebration, no matter how late. I begged them to stay back as I wanted to tell them that night. I do not wish to postpone this anymore.
Sok Bee's birthday celebration was a small one but also quite enjoyable at the same time. We hid ourselves behind the new cafeteria where all lights were out, and we lit the candle lights while waiting for her to come. Though belated, I hope she really enjoyed herself. Well, as usual, I gave a few simple violin pieces to everyone: 东风坡，Kiss Goodbye, and Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, with an extra 龙卷风 this round.
After that, I urged all of them to go back to their respective rooms while asking Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng and Yuan Xin to stay back. Li Chi did not respond to any of my calls, so be it that she was not meant to know that night. I felt so guilty so I apologised to them first as I have not been telling the truth to them. I have been hiding my P-life from them. I felt that it wouldn't be sincere if I were to keep on shielding it from them. I did not plan to do so earlier but since things gone haywire nowadays, I do not with to worsen the condition.
Telling them wasn't easy. The greatest obstacles there - fear and acceptance. I fear things would get worse and everyone would leave like electrons upon ionisation of the atom. Acceptance - could they accept my P-life, my past? Most are youngsters there, three years younger than I am. Exposure of friends and the mixture of the types of friends might not be diverse enough. I was just gambling that they've encountered such people with lives similar to mine before. Thus I told them. However, the condition I was in and the way I told them were not really nice.
I hope after they know my situation, they could understand me better or at least understand how I felt throughout this period of time and why my behaviour is the strangest amongst them. I hope now they understand why I could not let go of my life back in KL, where everything was so flawlessly perfect after a year there and suddenly all shattered into nothing - not even pieces nor powder. After one year struggling in KL to fit in and to get a coordinated happy-go-lucky life in KL, I finally found where I belong and my 'family' the CB-Sakai gang. Though only a short period of time, I felt as if I have been so close with them as if I were in their family. I felt accepted, fitted-in, I felt like I was meant to be there. Everything I could say out without having to think so much. I could just speak my heart out freely.
But things are not like that anymore. The perfect picture is shattered just like that just because of one paper - Biostatistics for Pharmacy. I can never forget this. It has really changed my life so drasticly. I could have remained back in KL but I chose this road. I feel very sad and bad. I chose this road because Pharmacy is still in my heart. As a result, I had to go through this life of dread. It was a very hard decision but I made it in a very short time. I gave up my a big part of my life - friends and love... I feel lifeless... Everything is like spent and dry...
Seeing some people over here really breaks my heart. People are good looking and they can read Pharmacy. I on the other hand is ugly and I can't even read Pharmacy. Failure. No match for them. No match for their stuck-up-ness also...
你的爱很像泡沫
太轻或太重 都不在手中
我的爱就像天空
太放或太收 你都只是风
你来过却爱上自由
你出走我不问理由
我会好好过 等你再爱我
总有个角落 会让你想起我
我会好好过 等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守候
你留下很多
够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重 纵使爱太弱
我会好好过 等你回头
会看到的一定是我
Thursday, October 12, 2006
无字的请批
Yeah! today I got my new specs... love it... :p well... since now I'm waiting for someone, might as well crap something here. Hmm... I saw this evening's sky and I felt... celestial... beautiful clouds of yellow and pink and purple upon a pale azure sky. Makes me float...
Basically, I've made a new friend on Mid Autumn festival - Qiu Ping. She is a great girl. Truly nice and beautiful in her own way. I never knew her name but I noticed her presence in AIMST. hehehe... stewpid right? Mid Autunm festival was quite nice though but I did not really enjoy it. We heard that there would be a gathering at SP park/garden at night, so Chew Weng and Kai Liang organised a gathering there. I'm sure they all had a great time. It was kind of nice to see candle lights everywhere in the park at night. Beautiful.
Nowadays, school seems to be quite hectic. Lab reports, assignments, presentations, bla bla bla... Today, my biology presentation wasn't very good. My group, of Priya (dari sini) Darishini, Sobanah (so banana), and Li Chi (ah Chi), got the topic Phenylketonuria (PKU). It is an autosomal recessive genetic disease where phenylalanine accumulates in the blood due to lack of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme. It is due to the mutation which happens in chromosome number 12, the q (long) arm, position 22 to 24, where, in classic PKU, the amino acid argenine in the 408th position is substituted with tryptophan, thus resulting in either a non-functional protein or another type of protein produced instead of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme.
Generally, we divided the presentation into a few parts: Introduction, Genetics, Biochemistry, Pathophysiology, Clinical Medicine, and Treatment. Priya started off introducing superficially on what PKU is. Then I continued with the Genetics of PKU. I took over the Biochemistry part also as I am already quite familiar with the terms used and the Chemistry of phenylalanine (Thank you Dr. Thet! ). Phenylalanine is converted to tyrosine and this reaction is catalysed by the enzyme phenylalanine hydroxylase and its coenzyme tetrahydrobiopterin. If either the enzyme or the coenzyme is absent from the body, then phenylalanine cannot be conerted into tyrosine. This will cause accumulation of phenylalanine in the circulatory system.
Phenylalanine, will undergo an alternative metabolism to yield phenylpyruvic acid, phenylacetic acid, phenyllactic acid and phenylethylamine. The derivative phenylacetic acid, or phenylacetate, will give out a musty 'mousy' odour in sweat and urine. This is one of the symptoms of PKU. Since phenylalanine is in the circulatory system, it can be transported to the brain. There, the blood brain barrier (BBB) present to control substances moving in and out of the brain. Large amino acids like phenylalanine is transported across the BBB via the large neutral amino acid transporter (LNAAT). If the blood has high concentration of phenylalanine, then phenylalanine would competitively bind to the LNAAT with other amino acids. Phenylalanine would saturate the LNAAT, thus we can say only phenylalanine is transported to the brain. Since there is only phenylalanine in the brain and not much of other amino acids, the brain cannot grow or develop properly, thus causing mental retardation. This causes the degeneration of the Myelin sheath also and this would disturb the nerve conduction and nervous system (both centrally and peripherally). Therefore, patients of PKU often experience symptoms like seizures, slow reaction, and spasticity.
Tyrosine is important in the body as it is a precursor of many other things in the body like the pigment melanin, neurotransmitters epinephrine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. In PKU, since tyrosine is low, then the production of these chemicals would be less, thus resulting in the discoordination of the nervous system (centrally and peripherally). Low levels of melanin results in albinism.
There is no pharmacotherapy for PKU. The treatment is just to control the intake of phenylalanine for life. Screenings for PKU include enzyme assay to test for carriers of PKU, and Guthrie test, where the newborn baby's heel is pricked and the blood is tested on the growth of the bacteria Bacillus subtilis on beta-2-thyenylalanine. Beta-2-thyenylalanine inhibits the growth of the bacteria but it could be overcome by phenylalanine. Therefore, PKU patients, with high phenylalanine level in the blood, will result in a positive test where the bacteria could grow. Carriers of PKU are detected via enzyme assay where phenylalanine is administered orally, then the rate of clearance of phenylalanine from the body is being tested. For carriers, it takes about 8-10 hours for the phenylalanine to be cleared.
Sobana did on the Pathophysiology and Clinical Medicine I of PKU while Li Chi presented on Clinical Medicine II and Clinical Medicine III. We presented half-way only though as time does not allow us to finish the presentation. When it was time for Priya Darishini to present, Mr. Hoe asked us to stop as the time for Biology had ended. Priya was so so so agitated as she still had her part to finish (don't worry, everything will be fine).
Actually, I still feel rejected among the people here in AIMST. I do not know what I should do. I have been putting on the mask for these three months now and things began to go haywire yesterday when I had a misunderstanding with Li Chi. How am I suppose to tell everyone here? How am I suppose to tell Kai Liang and Bee Teng? What would be Khim Yik's and Qiu Ping's reactions? How would Ken and Michelle think of me? Could Chew Weng and Li Chi understand what I am going through? Of what impression would Billy and Yuan Xin have on me? Could we all be as close as we are now or closer? NO! I don't think so... If I were to reveal my P-life, then it would be a disaster. Kai Liang, Khim Yik, Ken, Chew Weng and Billy would move far far away from me... Bee Teng, Qiu Ping, Michelle, Li Chi and Yuan Xin would keep their distances from me... All will treat me different. Is it worth to take the risk? People are leaving my circle of love... slowly...
阿嬷不识字
但是伊识真多的代志
伊讲闪电是天的锁匙
锁匙打开有雨水
阿嬷不识字
但是有一张情批写乎伊
经过几十年不曾拆过
她讲写字不如相思
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
无留半字 就断了过去
不甘心付出 为伊哮归暝
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
山盟海誓 也失去意义
情批拢无字 痴心变青眠
我甲阿嬷问
阿嬷的情批是写啥咪
伊讲情人欲爱无勇气
才来用字骗情意
Basically, I've made a new friend on Mid Autumn festival - Qiu Ping. She is a great girl. Truly nice and beautiful in her own way. I never knew her name but I noticed her presence in AIMST. hehehe... stewpid right? Mid Autunm festival was quite nice though but I did not really enjoy it. We heard that there would be a gathering at SP park/garden at night, so Chew Weng and Kai Liang organised a gathering there. I'm sure they all had a great time. It was kind of nice to see candle lights everywhere in the park at night. Beautiful.
Nowadays, school seems to be quite hectic. Lab reports, assignments, presentations, bla bla bla... Today, my biology presentation wasn't very good. My group, of Priya (dari sini) Darishini, Sobanah (so banana), and Li Chi (ah Chi), got the topic Phenylketonuria (PKU). It is an autosomal recessive genetic disease where phenylalanine accumulates in the blood due to lack of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme. It is due to the mutation which happens in chromosome number 12, the q (long) arm, position 22 to 24, where, in classic PKU, the amino acid argenine in the 408th position is substituted with tryptophan, thus resulting in either a non-functional protein or another type of protein produced instead of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme.
Generally, we divided the presentation into a few parts: Introduction, Genetics, Biochemistry, Pathophysiology, Clinical Medicine, and Treatment. Priya started off introducing superficially on what PKU is. Then I continued with the Genetics of PKU. I took over the Biochemistry part also as I am already quite familiar with the terms used and the Chemistry of phenylalanine (Thank you Dr. Thet! ). Phenylalanine is converted to tyrosine and this reaction is catalysed by the enzyme phenylalanine hydroxylase and its coenzyme tetrahydrobiopterin. If either the enzyme or the coenzyme is absent from the body, then phenylalanine cannot be conerted into tyrosine. This will cause accumulation of phenylalanine in the circulatory system.
Phenylalanine, will undergo an alternative metabolism to yield phenylpyruvic acid, phenylacetic acid, phenyllactic acid and phenylethylamine. The derivative phenylacetic acid, or phenylacetate, will give out a musty 'mousy' odour in sweat and urine. This is one of the symptoms of PKU. Since phenylalanine is in the circulatory system, it can be transported to the brain. There, the blood brain barrier (BBB) present to control substances moving in and out of the brain. Large amino acids like phenylalanine is transported across the BBB via the large neutral amino acid transporter (LNAAT). If the blood has high concentration of phenylalanine, then phenylalanine would competitively bind to the LNAAT with other amino acids. Phenylalanine would saturate the LNAAT, thus we can say only phenylalanine is transported to the brain. Since there is only phenylalanine in the brain and not much of other amino acids, the brain cannot grow or develop properly, thus causing mental retardation. This causes the degeneration of the Myelin sheath also and this would disturb the nerve conduction and nervous system (both centrally and peripherally). Therefore, patients of PKU often experience symptoms like seizures, slow reaction, and spasticity.
Tyrosine is important in the body as it is a precursor of many other things in the body like the pigment melanin, neurotransmitters epinephrine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. In PKU, since tyrosine is low, then the production of these chemicals would be less, thus resulting in the discoordination of the nervous system (centrally and peripherally). Low levels of melanin results in albinism.
There is no pharmacotherapy for PKU. The treatment is just to control the intake of phenylalanine for life. Screenings for PKU include enzyme assay to test for carriers of PKU, and Guthrie test, where the newborn baby's heel is pricked and the blood is tested on the growth of the bacteria Bacillus subtilis on beta-2-thyenylalanine. Beta-2-thyenylalanine inhibits the growth of the bacteria but it could be overcome by phenylalanine. Therefore, PKU patients, with high phenylalanine level in the blood, will result in a positive test where the bacteria could grow. Carriers of PKU are detected via enzyme assay where phenylalanine is administered orally, then the rate of clearance of phenylalanine from the body is being tested. For carriers, it takes about 8-10 hours for the phenylalanine to be cleared.
Sobana did on the Pathophysiology and Clinical Medicine I of PKU while Li Chi presented on Clinical Medicine II and Clinical Medicine III. We presented half-way only though as time does not allow us to finish the presentation. When it was time for Priya Darishini to present, Mr. Hoe asked us to stop as the time for Biology had ended. Priya was so so so agitated as she still had her part to finish (don't worry, everything will be fine).
Actually, I still feel rejected among the people here in AIMST. I do not know what I should do. I have been putting on the mask for these three months now and things began to go haywire yesterday when I had a misunderstanding with Li Chi. How am I suppose to tell everyone here? How am I suppose to tell Kai Liang and Bee Teng? What would be Khim Yik's and Qiu Ping's reactions? How would Ken and Michelle think of me? Could Chew Weng and Li Chi understand what I am going through? Of what impression would Billy and Yuan Xin have on me? Could we all be as close as we are now or closer? NO! I don't think so... If I were to reveal my P-life, then it would be a disaster. Kai Liang, Khim Yik, Ken, Chew Weng and Billy would move far far away from me... Bee Teng, Qiu Ping, Michelle, Li Chi and Yuan Xin would keep their distances from me... All will treat me different. Is it worth to take the risk? People are leaving my circle of love... slowly...
阿嬷不识字
但是伊识真多的代志
伊讲闪电是天的锁匙
锁匙打开有雨水
阿嬷不识字
但是有一张情批写乎伊
经过几十年不曾拆过
她讲写字不如相思
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
无留半字 就断了过去
不甘心付出 为伊哮归暝
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
山盟海誓 也失去意义
情批拢无字 痴心变青眠
我甲阿嬷问
阿嬷的情批是写啥咪
伊讲情人欲爱无勇气
才来用字骗情意
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