Purity...

Purity...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Return Visit to the Central Valley – Day 2 – Dr. Thet’s Meeting & Mid Valley Encounters

Wednesday, 18th July 2007.

There was a dim glow as I opened my eyes slowly. There was nothing to be heard. It was quiet. The fan was still blowing. I looked at the time and it was 9:40 a.m. and I’ve recovered a little. I felt a lot better than the day before. My sore throat was most of it gone. I cleaned myself and got dressed then walked to UCSI to visit some old friends.

It was never cool walking under the sun but at least I don’t sweat as much here as I do in Penang or SP. I proposed the idea that Penang is an island, and SP is somewhat near the sea and is a low land, so it would be way warmer and damper, but my mother said these are all rubbish and that I was just crapping.

The university did change of course. Within one year, quite a lot of expansions it had. The gateway was now functioning, with the ugly eagle skeleton structure intact to the central guard house. The noisy clanks made by students when entering or leaving through the gate bars by rotating them were irritatingly deafening. Nabeh!

Ascending the stairs of Block A, I passed through a group of students who happened to wear seafood clothes. Seafood, you know, as in, LaLa or Ah Beng, or some call them Ah Too Ah Kow Ah Lian Ah Hua... I reached the platform outside the front doorway of Block A and something new was there. Many tables were set and if I’m not mistaken, food stalls too with some other product stores. I didn’t pay much attention to the place, so I might be wrong.

It was lunch time when I got there, so Block A was crowded with people. Nothing much had changed internally since I last came to the place. I did see some familiar faces but I don’t think they would recognise me, so I just kept looking around, ignoring them. I proceeded to Block C. On the way there, I passed through Block B, which now had a see-through lab for food science, nutrition and biotechnology. Last time, it was still under construction. The library was further up the block but I did not go there. I met Hou Boon and Esther separately at the stairways and I talked to them for a while.

Getting into Block C’s ground floor, I saw the stall still operating. The aunty from Taiping still manages it. I passed through the Medical PBL rooms as I was walking to the stairs. I ascended the stairs to the second floor, searching for the School of Pharmacy. I reached the blue door. Ms. Kitty, the course coordinator, was the first staff I greeted. Then, after exchanging basic news, I asked for Dr. Thet’s room. She has moved opposite from where her last room was, into Mr. Jony’s former room. She was still sharing the room with Ms. Pryia, but Ms. Lyna was nowhere to be seen. I knocked the blue door, and entered.

Dr. Thet was facing side-ways direction, so she did not see me. Ms. Pryia was the first to see me. Dr. Thet then slowly turned and her jaws dropped widely. Surprised, I guess. I was exalted to see her. Near ecstatic. As usual, we exchanged words and news. I told her briefly about my life in AIMST, complaining about the food especially.

It seemed like only a short while I had been chatting with her but it was already 1:00 p.m. and the CB-Sakai Gang had already finished their lectures, so I hurried to the lecture hall to meet them. Mr. Lokesh just finished the lecture on Pharmaceutical Analysis I and I waited outside the hall, greeting anyone that came out of the hall this way. Now, it would be rather a long list of names to name them all but I will list them down. Wei Fuen was the first I greeted, then of course, if she was there, Kan Mi would be there. Then it continues with Joyce, Li Ying, Wai Yee, Min Min (Super Mint), Sok Nee, Poh Kheng (Michelle Saw Kheng Kheng), and Pei Wee (Teochew ‘Pontianak’ from Nanas Town). Then came Tay Hui Zhong (my piano master), Teh Kee Shiuen (Kepong Laksa), Kien Ching (Dai Ga Jeh), Vivian and Wai San San (cik umuk 33 tahun). Kay Poh Leen was there and with her, J. Lo the Staphylococcus. Then came Hwee Feng (Khai Yang’s friend), and Seng Chew (CHEW!!! A.k.a. Ms. Angkasa Lepas). The guys, of course, Yong Wei, Teng Feng (Nicholas Tse’s clone), Chyi Ing, Jivan, Chen Leong (itu Thomas Chow lah), Mun Kit, Jason, Chun Wei, and Kuan Poh! Oh! Was missing him so much... XD Then followed Chia Leng (Selyn), Wei Nei (Winnie) and Mei Mei (Puchong lady). Joycee, Wen Chian (Mickey Mouse – lau ee version), Sing Shia (UVTSS), White Lady Sue Zin, Super Lenglui Jay Chow Soon Yee, Tang Sia Chin, and Melissa came last. The Eastern girls: Belinda, Jin Ling (Nicole “Ni-kO-Le”), Yen Jun, and Kristine were nowhere to be seen. Loges, Irwinder, Min Han, Mahmood, and Yew Kheng too.

I would have talked more to Hui Zhong but she was in a rush, so she left first. I never knew that I wouldn’t have much chance talking to her after that. San San wanted to have lunch together, so our initial plan to go Neway Karaoke was cancelled as she was busy. Instead, we had lunch just outside UCSI, among one of the shop houses. Wen Chian didn’t join as her cousin came down to KL. Sing Shia had other plans. So it was Sia Chin, Super Lenglui, Sue Zin, San San and I only that ended up at the place. I couldn’t remember the place’s name but it was some kind of air-conditioned cafe that had no chairs. There were low tables and we were to sit on the floor. That means we had to take our shoes off before entering the cafe.

Customers were predominantly UCSI students. I ordered some kind of herbal chicken rice instead of the usual spicy one I would order as I was afraid I hadn’t fully recovered from my sickness yet. While waiting, we played UNO Spin. Since all of them speak Cantonese, it was my chance to improve and polish on my Cantonese speaking and understanding skills. I didn’t care much if I used the wrong word or spoken wrongly as I was already familiar with them, and I talked freely in Cantonese with them. Otherwise I would have stuck to Hokkien or Mandarin. Phiaw Chong then SMSed me asking me whether was I enjoying, and I replied saying that I was. He was to meet Zi Wei in Times Square. Seng Chew came up to meet us after we finished our lunch. I asked her a few words in FooChew and continued our game.

After lunch, San San went back. Seng Chew too. Since it was already late, Neway was not an option anymore, leaving only Mid Valley and Leisure Mall. Who would ever want to go to Leisure Mall? =.=” Sia Chin wanted to get some salted duck egg for her mother, so Super Lenglui drove her SLK, NO! SLRK (improved & integrated version of SLK), taking us to Yulek to get some salted duck egg. It was kind of tough to pronounce it properly in Cantonese, so we had a good laugh pronouncing HAM GA CHAN instead of HAM NGAP DAN. =.=”

Yulek seemed to have changed slightly. It looked like it was cleaner... hehe... Again, I see familiar roads and surroundings. The route to Super Lenglui’s house, the route to Pantai Cheras, Blue Dragon, and of course, Yulek market! Used to accompany my aunt to the market to get some cooking ingredients. The most memorable being the eve of Medicinal Chemistry paper, which I thought I had screwed up but instead I did quite fine. Then there was this 7-11 store that I always went and get some drinks during midnight, and the event when Super Lenglui accompanied me to get some paracetamol, also during midnight.

After getting the ham ga chan, I mean ham ngap dan, we sent Sia Chin back to her place, Cloud View Tower, the Cloud Tower. Again, familiar roads. I used to send Yong Hoe (Daniel) back also, who lives somewhere near the Cloud Tower. It was to Mid Valley then! Vroom!!! Super Lenglui drove her SLRK Jay Chow style! We flew in her SLRK through the rain to Mid Valley Megamall. Of course, there were people in Mid Valley but not that many, or shall I say, not that crowded.

We visited many shops, mostly clothes as I was looking for some clothes. Here and there we entered and it was in G2000 where the White Lady Sue Zin was reluctant to go because there was a price drop in the dress she bought earlier, but Super Lenglui was like so eager to go. XD Sia Chin remained quiet most of the time. I tried a few clothes but didn’t seem to fit. It was not until they went to ZARA that I met my worst daytime nightmare! The girls were busy looking for their clothes while I walked over to the gents’ section. To my horror, I suddenly saw a familiar face as one of the salesperson there – my EX! Cipiang leh... such bad luck...

My hair was long that day, and I wore a pair of mirror-coated glasses, so I think my ex did not recognise me. I darted out of the gents’ section and blended into the larger ladies’ section. Super Lenglui saw my expression was kind of green and she asked me what exactly happened. I then told Sia Chin, Sue Zin and Super Lenglui that I saw my ex, which was kind of good-looking though. I told them to go to the gents’ section to have a look if they wanted to, and I waited outside, reluctant to go in again.

Nabeh! They were laughing at me as they came out. Then we got to the Central Court. Going peripherally, Sue Zin got to a Watson’s promotional store and asked for some contact-lens solution. She was attended by a salesboy while the three of us waited for her. Then Super Lenglui got her eyes caught on moisturising lotion. She then pulled us there but I told her to go first while I waited for Sue Zin. When Sue Zin was paying at the payment counter, the salesboy came up to me and promoted some stuff, which I declined. Then he asked me which college we were from. I just plainly said, “UCSI, but I am not studying there.”

He looked at me puzzled. I gave no response but just stared blankly, expressionless at him. Then Sue Zin came and we left smiling at him. Super Lenglui was stuck with the salesgirl promoting the lotion. The salesgirl was kind of pretty. She was slender and fair. She was beautiful. The way she spoke was also soft and polite. Super Lenglui then asked a lot of questions. Answering her questions with confidence, the salesgirl brought forward some samples to be tested. Many types of lotions there were – moisturising la, whitening la, scar therapy la, cooling la, lanciao la, cibai la, nabeh! So many... crazy!

The sales girl approached the rest of us and I entertained her by asking about whitening. I told her that I don’t like my hands being oily or something like to have a layer of greasy stuff on my hands, especially my palms. She told me that nothing like this would happen. She let me had a try and after applying some to my hands, I took Sue Zin to a jewellery store nearby. We didn’t enter but just stood outside. I asked her to look into the display piece. Of course, when something valuable, AHEM! not valuable, I mean something expensive is being displayed, there would be a layer of thick glass covering it. I pointed to Sue Zin the piece and then, when she was looking at it, wondering why I would ask her to see such a thing, I pressed my palm against the glass.

“Hypothesis accepted!” I told Sue Zin.

Sue Zin gave a giggle and we turned and walk away, leaving the greasy imprint of my palm on the glass. Super Lenglui was still influencing us to buy some lotion as she was captivated by the gifts she would get if she spent more than an amount of money. In the end, it was Sue Zin who bought something to aid Super Lenglui to get the gift. The salesgirl then asked me whether I wanted the whitening lotion. KNNB! I know I am tanned, and I am proud of it! The salesgirl then gave some gifts extra to Super Lenglui.

Then we were off home. Cipiang! It was Wednesday! Pasar Malam at Taman Connaught! Shit! It was going to jam! But then, I thought, it would not be me driving, so why worry so much? Super Lenglui will take care of the jam Jay Chow style! On the way to Jay Chow’s SLRK, Sia Chin went to the bakery to get some polo bun for each of us. It tasted very nice. It rained and jammed all the way back to Cheras but with Super Lenglui around, never fear!

Sue Zin and I reached back home finally and it was already dark but still raining. So the pasar malam plan had to be abolished. Seng Chew and Loges came to Sue Zin’s unit and talked a little. Then I came to know about the story of Ms. Angkasa Lepas. Legend has it that long ago at Angkasa Condo, a girl named Teong Seng Chew was called Ms. Angkasa as she was the most beautiful of all the inhabitants there. However, the authorities thought that was not really right, so they upgraded her title to Ms. Angkasa Lepas. Why? Because in Angkasa Lepas (outer space), there was said to be no human. If there were life, it was said to be martians and strange foul-looking creatures (now don’t quote me yeah! It was said only, not I say one! Whoever quotes me, wa tiok hor lu SI!). So Ms. Angkasa Lepas would be the prettiest person there as there was no other human around to rival her.

I had ‘ninner’ with Sue Zin, Loges and Ms. Angkasa Lepas, then I headed back to Sue Zin’s room to online. There was nothing planned for the following day, so I thought of hanging around in UCSI. However, I asked Phiaw Chong for his plans tomorrow but he himself had no plan. I felt tired early and went to bed early too.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Return Visit to the Central Vallye - Days 0 & 1 - Abang Handsome & the Red Kancil

Monday, 16th July 2007.


Foo Phiaw Chong came over to Penang Island, and I took him to Queensbay Mall, for what? Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix. Now this is the second time I watched this movie. Though personally I do not like Harry Potter but I kind of like this particular part. Many of Harry Potter freaks say that this part is very dull but it is my favourite among all Harry Potter stories so far.


Before going for the screen, we took a walk around the mall and had late lunch at the Manhattan Fishmarket. Well, thanks a lot to Phiaw Chong for treating me such a great lunch. KAMSIAH. Then after Harry Potter, we had tea in Old Town Kopitiam, sitting there gossiping for a long while before continuing walking around the mall and outside the mall. After that, we went straight back home without having ‘ninner’.

Tuesday, 17th July 2007.

Early morning we followed my father down to my grand aunt’s (Ah Poh Ee Poh) place as we were following my uncle’s (Ah Chooi/Kwang) car down to KL. We went to my uncle’s office first and stayed there until 12 p.m. before we hit the road. At first, I thought I was going to follow only Kwang and her girlfriend, Ah Wen, down to KL, but it turned out that Kwang went down to KL with two of his employees instead. One was around his 30s, another was younger, mid 20s I guess. And another twist was, I was to follow the younger man’s car instead of Kwang’s.

The younger man’s (lets call him Abang Handsome or Entau Koko) car was a Proton Waja, and I was to sit at the front passenger’s seat while Phiaw Chong sat behind. It was kind of comfy, and Entau Koko didn’t really drive very fast (I am not sure why though). We set off first and reached Auto City first. It was there Kwang asked Entau Koko to meet up as Kwang went elsewhere to get some exhibition stuff for the exhibition of his company down in KL. We waited near KFC. While Entau Koko went down to get something to fill his stomach, Phiaw Chong & I were gossiping a bit. He was saying that Entau Koko looked very ‘yeng’ with his hairstyle, the way he dresses, his sunglasses... suddenly... Teet Teet! A polyphonic Nokia phone... wow... when it comes to his phone, a bit outdated XD... We had lunch at a mamak place and after that, we set out from Auto City at around 1 p.m..

Along the way, we didn’t really talk much as we weren’t familiar, and I guess it’s because of the age gap. Phiaw Chong and I felt bad talking openly, so we SMSed instead. Stupid huh. Entau Koko did ask us where we were going to stay though and I said I would stay at my friend’s place and Phiaw Chong would stay at his friend’s place. Entau Koko was kind of surprised to hear that and said that we were really enjoying our lives. During the first half of the journey, I noticed some drivers of the opposite current flashed their lights. Speed trap I guessed. Mid way through the journey, there really was a road block by highway police.

“Shit! Don’t know whether I exceeded the limit or not,” exclaimed Entau Koko.

From behind, Phiaw Chong heard Entau Koko uttered something but didn’t quite catch what he was saying, so he SMSed me asking me what Entau Koko said. I told Phiaw Chong and we remained silent. The police asked for Entau Koko’s driving licence and said that Entau Koko’s car went at the speed of 145 km/h (highway limit was 110 km/h). Of course Entau Koko was shocked as well as I was too. He gave a shout of surprise and said that he didn’t go so fast. Then the police read out the number plate W-something something, KL car. OH! PLEASE!!! Entau Koko’s car starts with a P-something something. Of course the police re-checked the number plate then apologised and let us off. Very... amusing...

Throughout the journey, I noticed that Entau Koko was kind of tired. I wanted to ask him whether would he like to let me drive so he could at least rest but in the end I just kept quiet and let him drive. We stopped over at one of the resting sites in Perak as I needed to go to the restroom and Entau Koko also wanted to have a face splash. There, Entau Koko had a cigarette and then we continued our journey. The next halt was at Sungai Buloh (not the bridge restaurant though) to meet up with Kwang to lead the way to the hotel they were supposed to stay in KL.

KL was drawing nigh. I was getting excited. Somehow, my heartbeat rate increased. Things I never thought of started popping up in my mind. For a year I had not been in KL. For a year I had not seen the CB-Sakai Gang. Excited. Finally, we reached KL at around 5 p.m.. Sue Zin SMSed me telling me that their lecture ends at 6 p.m.. Wow, I couldn’t believe I was in KL already. The roads were familiar... The people, the crowd... The cars... The jam... The signboards... The buildings... Ah... I was back in KL... I couldn’t believe it... It was incredible... The feeling was unexplainable... I can find no words to describe it...

Memories crept back into my head. Pudu area – the place I ran here and there when I reached KL with Christopher and Jason almost two years ago. Town peripheral roads – the roads I used to simply bang with one of my ex about one year plus ago. Times Square – last late night hang out with CB-Sakai Gang one year ago. It’s all coming back to me now.

We reached KLCC around 5:45 p.m. and we thank and bid farewell to Kwang and Entau Koko for bringing us down to KL. Now, we were on our own. Journeying to the LRT station of KLCC, we passed through the lake garden... hence, another memory... New Year’s Day countdown with Zen Chia, Geok Im, Hoay San and Yoon May one and a half years ago.

Reaching the KLCC LRT station, it was time for Phiaw Chong and me to part ways. He was to take the train to Wangsa Maju station to get to Qi Xian’s place while I had to take the train to Masjid Jamek then switch to Star Line LRT to Bandar Tasik Selatan station to get to my dear friends. Upon entering the platform of the station, as usual, people mountain people sea... Gonna be sandwich-ed again. Since Wangsa Maju station and Masjid Jamek station are in the opposite direction, we had to go our separate ways. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get in the first train, so I called Soon Yee and told her that I was at KLCC LRT station and I would be late. Soon Yee told me that they were going to have steamboat although I told her I was not feeling well. How would I have known that I managed to squeeze in the first train that arrived. I later learned from Phiaw Chong that he had to wait until the third train.

After sandwiching for a few moments (thank God it was only a FEW moments), I switched to Star LRT going to Bandar Tasik Selatan. I called Soon Yee telling her that I was upon reaching the station already and asked her to come and fetch me. In Star LRT, when I was looking out of the windscreen, familiar stations and sceneries my eyes rested on. Plaza Rakyat... Pudu... Chan Sow Lin... Cheras... Salak Selatan... Bandar Tun Razak... BANDAR TASIK SELATAN... Wow... I’m one step closer to the place where I learned a lot and the place I found my own self...

I was carrying my light blue Body Glove bag upon my bag with another dark blue Body Glove ‘pouch’ strapped upon my chest with another medium green bag which I carried with my hand and my shoes on top of it. At the stop, I rushed out of the train alongside with other passengers. Typical KL scene. Quickly, I got out of the tracks and looked for the Red Kancil... Super Lenglui’s Red Kancil... SOON YEE!!! I looked around and finally found Soon Yee’s car waiting right in front of the station’s doorway...

How delightful I was to have just spotted the car, I couldn’t find a word to describe. I could see Soon Yee the ‘driver’ and two other people’s silhouettes. One of them must be the White Lady Sue Zin I guessed. I opened the door of the back passenger seat and saw that Super Lenglui Chow Soon Yee, White Lady Wong Sue Zin and Ms. Tang Sia Chin were there. Everyone looked almost the same but there were variations, notably their hair. Super Lenglui seemed to have gone for a hair-cut. Sue Zin seemed to get cuter and cuter and her body size seemed to have shrunk a little. Sia Chin’s hair had gone back to how it looked like how her hair looked during first year, and that was like more than one year ago.

I was indeed very happy to see them. I am not sure about them but I am very happy to see them. They were already on their way to the place to have steamboat first when I called Super Lenglui and told her that I was reaching the station, so (sorry yeah) she turned back to the station to pick me up. We talked a little bit on the way to the place we were going to have steamboat, exchanging news and life stories among both sides.

Super Lenglui squeezed through the traffic despite the jam on the road. Typical KL situation. Typical KL driver. Typical Jay Chow. On the way there, I felt as if I was driving through the roads long, long ago. Finally, we reached the steamboat’s place at Taman Taynton. There, Sing Shia, Wen Chian, along with Joycee, Selyn, Mei Mei, Mun Kit, Chun Wei, and Jason. Sadly, Kuan Poh wasn’t there. Wen Chian’s hair got way shorter and she looked more ‘woman’ now. Sing Shia, =.=” no comment... Others, err, so so la... I chose to sit in between Super Lenglui and Sia Chin. The situation was a bit stiff that night as not much conversation took place.

Since I didn’t really feel very well, I only drank three small bowls of clear soup with some vegetables and minimal meat. I did not de-shell the prawns like I did a year ago. Funny. No urge to do so. So, after ‘ninner’, we went back. Super Lenglui sent Sing Shia, Sue Zin and I back to their place, Angkasa Condo. Since the following day they only had lectures in the morning and no lab in the afternoon, they dated me out. I was to stay over at Sue Zin’s room while she went over to Loges’ unit. (Sorry yeah Sue Zin... very sorry... and thanks a lot... very very much)

I followed Sue Zin down to get some water and to meet her boyfriend, Choo. Her housemates were a little bit cool, but I didn’t really mind that much since I should be thankful I had a place to stay in KL. Phiaw Chong already was at Qi Xian’s place. That night, I slept quite early since I wasn’t really feeling well. The fan was blowing. I felt comfortable, suddenly very comfortable. Darkness...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Goodbye Foundation...

Foundation finally over... glad it is... Hell for one year... hopefully when I am doing my degree here would be better... Though a lot of grieves and regrets, there were happy momnets too, though they could never outweigh the former...

Foundation for me wasn't really difficult as I have done sixth form and further, but the only challenge for me is to wake up so early and Physics... I failed Physics in term 1 though but da whole course wasn't really that hard. I came to love Physics in term 3 and I find it quite interesting, or at least more interesting than term 3 Biology and term 2 Chemistry. Seriously! Maths was kind of easy. In fact, everything is easy. The syllabi are not even half of STPM syllabi. They mentioned that AIMST Foundation covers a narrower range but goes deeper and more detailed relative to STPM... I say: AIMST, tsk tsk tsk, save your saliva la... They are, the scopes, narrower, yes but not more detailed... "lau lang eh"...

Well, the best time throughout the whole course for me is not the holidays (frankly, I hate holidays and semester breaks because I have to come back to Penang to face my parents) but the study breaks before exams. It is the time I can really relax and learn effectively without any hectic lecture hours and worry-fying assignments. Anyway, instead of worrying about exams, I find myself indulging in Jin Yong's novels especially Legend of Condor Heroes.

I took only a few hours to cover everything in Biology and then I switched to the novels. I couldn't sleep the night before my Biology paper, so I read novels instead until 2 to 3 a.m.. The exam was held in Semeling Campus Exam Hall. Comparatively, it is no better than UCSI's. The lighting is like, quite dark in AIMST's and ventilation is poor. What is worse, the hall is not well soundproof and people keep banging the door when leaving or entering the hall. There is even a few spots where students cannot see the clock... CHIPZZZ... I was on that spot for two papers...

Nearly before every paper I slept at 2 a.m. at least, and while everyone is tensed and stressed, I am kind of ... ... err... relaxed... The papers were all fine and everyone didn't seem to have a hard time. After the exams, a group of us planned to go to Penang Island. Actually a lot of them were in Penang. As usual, I took some of them round island, bla bla bla. Then suddenly they said about spending a night in Penang, OMG, so sudden... I didn't really have time to plan. Everything went a bit hay-wired (my side only). In the end, nearly all of them spent the night at my grandmother's place in Sungai Ara since she was away in Ipoh. Typical places I brought them to: round island, Gurney Plaza, Crown Princess beach, Nagor Place Steamboat, bla bla bla. The next morning, we had dimsum before heading back to the Stupid Place...

Then one by one, everyone went back to their respective hometowns. I resided here in Penang for about a week before going down to KL...KL!!! The place I had not been for one year plus. During the week in Penang, I only met two Penang freinds, Ai Ling and Cheng Wei. The others had already gone back to their universities scattered over the whole Malaysia. Well, this, I have to thank AIMST for setting such stupid sessional calendars. Even Zen Chia had a difficult time in meeting the others let alone me.
Stupid AIMST...

Friday, February 23, 2007

CNY - Big FIREWORKS!!!

What a great new year I had... As usual, I would spend my new year in Thailand, my maternal grandparent’s place. It was kind of nice as usual, though this year, short of my eldest uncle’s family. It all started with the ending of Physics lesson.

FRIDAY, 16th February 2007, 29th day of the 12th Moon of the Chinese calendar. Physics with Themudu as usual would be a good time for a nap. I’d just finished my news casting the previous night and then went for a long drive to the town of Yan with Qiu Ping where I found Pantai Murni, a beautiful place to look at the setting sun upon the sea. We went to the pasar malam there too.

After Physics class, we quickly had our lunch and I was to return to Penang as soon as possible as I cannot afford to lose any time. I had to start my journey to Thailand by 4 pm as the bridge would jam at around 5 pm. With me, were Ken and Yik. Though their flight was on Saturday, but I sent them to the airport on Friday as I had to leave for Thailand.

After sending them to the airport, I went to visit my paternal grandmother. She looked thin. Nothing much I said to her as I really found nothing to say. I passed the oral rehydrating salt to the Indonesian maid then I went back home, waiting for my parents to return. After they returned, we packed the things to bring there. As usual, there would be a lot of things. Things my maternal grandparents want, things my uncles & aunts want, and even things relatives from Penang wanted to send to those in Thailand.

We set out from Penang home at around 6 pm. I drove. God! The traffic was massive! JAM!!! We took 2 hours from the Penang home and cross the bridge, reaching Butterworth at around 8pm. Stupid. My father even had to get down of the car to stop the traffic so my lane could move as my lane was blocked from moving due to the breaking down of a car in front.

We reached Hadyai at around 10:30pm Malaysian time but aunt Lay Choo wasn’t around. Ish... what to do? We had super late late dinner at a restaurant nearby and I SMSed my friends to divert my attention while waiting for the food. Frankly speaking, I do not like the idea of spending one night in Hadyai before going into Yala because the thought of travelling actually disturbs me. However, due to the dangers of bombings and terrorists attacks, we had to spend one night in Hadyai before going into Yala as we were already late.

SATURDAY, 17th February 2007, 30th day of the 12th Moon of the Chinese calendar. Its Chinese New Year’s Eve and we left for Yala early in the morning. This time, my father drove. Nothing much happened today, just the usual praying to the Ancestors and God. We went to Aunt Nok, Uncle Ah Keong’s wife’s to have Koay Chap, then, later I had my hair dyed copper. At first I thought of dyeing it red but I had done red before, so I tried copper.

At night, instead of steamboat, we had home cooking by my maternal grandmother and my father. Reunion Dinner? Maybe. Uncle Ah Kheng was there, Uncle Tin Tin & Family were there, Uncle Ah Keong & Family were there, my grandparents were there, and my family and I were also there.

SUNDAY, 18th February 2007, 1st day of the 1st Moon of the Chinese calendar. CHINESE NEW YEAR’S DAY!!! The first day of Chinese New Year came, and in the morning, I went to pray at a temple near my grandparent’s house with my parents, grandparents, and my cute cousin, Zi Long. It was kind of a pleasant morning. After praying, we went back straight home.

My parents and grandparents then went to the factory to pray at the shrines of the Gods. I refused to go, so I stayed at home. My third uncle, Tin Tin, came by with his family but I was the only one there. I told them everyone went to the factory of course. Then suddenly the phone rang. I picked it up. It was my eldest uncle, Bee Bee. He wished everyone Happy Chinese New Year, bla bla bla.

Then everyone came back home. Aunt Lay Choo was there also with Uncle Ah Kheng. Everyone was like talking non-stop to each other and we ended up eating Swenson’s in the shopping complex opposite my grandparents’ house, Coliseum. I think it is because nothing is more interesting than ice-cream and movies there, but it was actually the fact that my grandfather loves ice-cream.

Upon entering the complex, I should feel tensed, but instead, I felt nothing. It was like I had no fear for any bomb assaults. Maybe it was because Uncle Ah Keong mentioned about it was safe at Coliseum as the people working there are of Muslim believers. Also, the owner was a Muslim also. He also mentioned the safest place to go is the old market in Yala where Muslim density is very high...

I ordered a strawberry shake but I had to eat extra as my grandmother could not finish her ice-cream. Ish... if I knew it earlier, I wouldn’t have ordered my strawberry shake. After ice-cream-ing, it was time to go back home. My mother went shopping with Uncle Tin Tin’s wife, Aunt Ciap. Uncle Tin Tin, his son Wei Long, Aunt Lay Choo, with my father, took my grandmother back, leaving behind my grandfather and I. So what should I do? Since my grandfather doesn’t like shopping, I accompanied him back also.

While waiting for my mother to return with Aunt Ciap, I went online for a while. Not many were online. Then they came back. It was time to visit my 2nd granduncle with Uncle Tin Tin & Family. We went to my granduncle’s petrol station, as usual, and we found something amiss there. His office was locked! He was inside though. His workers were outside his office, in their respective seats in their own common office. We asked the workers what happened but none really knew the reason.

We asked the workers to inform my granduncle of our coming but they dared not even speak to him through the phone. My mother and Uncle Tin Tin talked to my granduncle over the phone but he doesn’t seem to be welcoming us. He kept on saying that his eyes hurt, tired, not feeling well. This was really strange indeed. He used to welcome us warmly no matter how his conditions are. He used to be very happy whenever we visited him, but not this time. This time, he said he wanted to rest and he refused to unlock his door. He refused to meet us. Instead of resting, we saw that he was reading newspapers.

After we waited a while, he reluctantly unlocked the office door and let us in. RELUCTANTLY. He didn’t seem happy. He was agitated. Something was bothering him. He mentioned about not giving any angpows this year. I had no intention to ask angpow from him but this was really not right. Something was very very very not right. Angpow wise, I know it wasn’t because of me or my cousin, Wei Long, because at that time, only both of us were present.

Before this, a group of my cousins and I paid him visits every Chinese New Year but he didn’t even hesitate to give us angpow money. He even gave money, bank notes! So I was very sure it wasn’t due to me or Wei Long. He kept on mentioning that he’s very worried and sad. When asked what he was worried about, no definite answer came, no definite answer he gave. What could be done? Nothing. So we went back home.

On the way back home, we went to Uncle Tin Tin’s first house as I wanted to look at some Ophthalmology & Eye Pathology books. Many books I found there. Even Goodman & Gillman’s Pharmacological Basis of Therapeutics was there. My main aim was to find books on glaucoma as one of my friend’s mother seems like having symptoms similar to that of glaucoma. Then it was off home. Evening came and Aunt Lay Choo left Yala going back to her house in Hadyai. The remaining people planned for a dinner at a coffee shop a few houses away from my grandmother’s house. We were to meet there at 6:30 pm Thai time.

After Aunt Lay Choo’s leave taking, I followed Uncle Tin Tin back to his house at the Yala Provincial Hospital. The house was really cool and cozy there. It was peaceful and nice. I was to sleep there that night. I found a few books of Therapeutics and Internal Medicine Principles there too. 6:30 pm came very fast and off we went back to my grandparents’ house to have dinner nearby. It was really a short walking distance, so we walked to the coffee shop from my grandparents’ house.

I wasn’t really surprised to find Aunt Lay See & Family there, instead, I was kind of... like... oh, you’re here (so lame)... Annie was there and the very first thing she asked was – my laptop. Unfortunately for her, I left my laptop at Uncle Tin Tin’s place – hahaha... Food was kind of nice there, I was supposed to sit at the grown-ups’ table but due to the sudden presence of Aunt Lay See & Family, I was reverted to the children’s table, with Annie. Pity the both of us.

In the children’s table, food, of course, would not be as good as the grown-ups’. What’s worse, I had to deal with two small kids – Zi Long & Zi Xiang, sons of Uncle Ah Keong... ish... thanks to Annie!!! Half-way through the dinner, around 7pm, the lights suddenly dimmed. They didn’t completely go out, just dimmed, so it wasn’t pitch black. However, it was also only for a moment before the lights came back to the initial brightness. The television set went static for a while also, together when the lights dimmed.

At that instant, I heard the grown-ups conversing about bombings and something about the faint sound of a distant bomb explosion. I heard nothing but they claimed that they heard a faint explosion. They doubted. They hesitated. They were afraid of the repeat of the incident last time in Yala where the whole town went blackout, and bombs started exploding. That time, 22 banks were targeted.

A police truck was seen rushing here and there. Uncle Tin Tin called to the hospital to confirm about the bombing. He confirmed the bombing was at a karaoke somewhere further down town and he said that we had to leave the place as opposite the coffee shop, there were a few rows of motorcycles parked there. This is a favourite spot for bombs. If one were to explode there, we would all be doomed. The shattered pieces of motorcycle and debris would be shot across the road, hitting us. His phone kept ringing – he knew it was from the hospital. He refused to receive the call as it was not him who was on call on that day, and the route to the hospital was dangerous that time.

My grandmother started asking everyone to go home. Aunt Lay See, I don’t blame her as she was shocked before, also asked everyone to go back to my grandparents’ house. With them, went the small kids Zi Long & Zi Xiang, Wei Long, and Annie, who I was not sure whether she was afraid or what. Annie’s father, Uncle Danny, was looking across the road to the shopping complex, Coliseum, where swarms of people started to leave the building. They must have heard rumours about a bomb might explode at the complex.

My grandfather went like: “If you people are scared, you people go back home first.” He stayed back as there was food left. I stayed back. My mother was there, my father too. Uncle Ah Kheng & Family, Uncle Tin Tin, Aunt Ciap, Uncle Ah Keong, Aunt Nok, & Uncle Danny were all there. Uncle Danny was still standing outside looking at the commotion opposite while others remained inside eating Lat Na.

Suddenly I heard an explosion. This time, I HEARD IT! It was clear and loud. Somewhere near. I supposed it came from somewhere behind the shop. Upon hearing that, everyone automatically stood up. My mother got excited saying that we had to leave now. Uncle Ah Keong, who was cool all the time also shouted: “This time its real! Gotta leave liao! This time gotta leave liaw!!!”

We all moved out of the shop. Instead of moving back to the house, all were too stunned to move, they remained outside the shop. Then Uncle Tin Tin and my mother shouted at all of them to move, then only they moved back home. On the way home, Aunt Nok and I supported my grandfather. At this time, the feeling was really unexplainable. Scared? No. Fear? No. Happy? Of course not lah! Anxious maybe.

I heard Uncle Ah Kheng’s wife asking her children to move forward, not to look back. Uncle Ah Keong took the Lat Na he was eating halfway together with him. Everyone was like moving. I wasn’t sure whether they were panicking or not but I wasn’t. I kept urging my grandfather to move forward. I applied some pressure forward as he was moving like a turtle. He got angry and said: “STOP PUSHING LAH!”

Upon reaching the house, most of us stood outside. Uncle Tin Tin then asked everyone to come in. My mother, who experienced the 513 incident before also asked everyone to stay inside the house. My grandfather, being as stubborn as usual, stayed outside. My father and Uncle Danny then accompanied him outside while all others went inside. I went to the third floor where there was an open space for us to look out to what was happening.

I went up there and found that most of the family members were already there. Suddenly there came an explosion, louder and clearer than the one I heard before. It came from opposite – Coliseum shopping complex. I saw nothing as it was dark. I only heard the explosion and shattering of glasses. I then saw police jeeps and ambulances rushing to the complex. One person was injured.

I saw many took their motorcycles and rode away. A few dragged their motorcycles away – why? I don’t know. I saw two youths running towards a jeep. Upon approaching the jeep, both dropped to the road as if they played tripped. They were looking under the jeep for bombs before driving away. The explosion could happen anywhere, even my grandparents’ house! I should be afraid. I should be in fear. However, I felt a sudden surge of rage and anger in me. These terrorists are really CB! I would say no more of it. Idiots! PK!

After that, I heard about four more explosions but all were far away. The news reported 11 bombs were found and they were targeted on small hotels/motels, karaokes, and petrol stations. When they heard the news casters mentioning about petrol stations, the first thing came to their minds were my 2nd granduncle & his petrol station. This answered most of the unsolved riddles playing in our minds earlier about my granduncle’s worries. He might have already known about the bombs in his petrol station, the only problem being he doesn’t know where the bomb was placed.

That night, I stayed at supposedly the safest place there – the hospital. I stayed over at Uncle Tin Tin’s place. He told me that according to the news, 11 bombs were found in Yala, 3 in Pattani, 22 injured, 1 killed.






Friday, February 02, 2007

Intermediatary 2006-2007 & Crazy Thaipusam Holiday

Well, 2006 was really an extreme year for me, good things come at their best and best things come at their worst... What a very ironic introduction to my adult life... OH NO!!! I'm no longer a youth... gosh... I couldn't believe that my 21st birhtday is spent in AIMST... =.=" I dare say that I really regret coming to AIMST! Living hell! I hate this place! 2006 had passed by and now 2007 has come. I hoped that 2007 would be a better year than 2006! Well, at least I got a very crazy Thaipusam holiday.

On the 1st of February 2007, I had no plans to go anywhere. I was supposed to go to Aman Jaya campus to meet Khim Yik to explain some Chemistry to him. However, he cancelled it as there might not be a bus to Aman Jaya as it was Thaipusam. So I woke up relatively later that I used to - 10:00 a.m.. After bathing and having burger for breakfast, I turned on my computer, and I went online.

My aunt asked me whether I would like to have Maggi Mee for lunch, and I told her I did. Suddenly, I saw a familiar name came online, it was Pei Ling! How glad was I to see her online until I called her by her full name, Neo Pei Ling! Then she felt awkward why I called her her full name. She prefered me to call her 'nini'. XD yeah, nice joke, Nini...

I asked her where she was that time and she told me she was in a very 'ulu' area - Nibong Tebal. I was more than delighted to hear that and I asked whether it was convenient for me to visit her and my other ex-schoolmates there, and she replied: "why not? We can have lunch together, with Ai Ling too. You serious of coming?"

I told her I was serious of going, and that time was 11 a.m., so I still could cancel my Maggi Mee lunch. Pei Ling gave me directions to their USM engineering campus in Nibong Tebal, and I left for it around 11:22 a.m. and reached there within one hour. Along the way, I saw a signboard showing the way to a recreational park and a forest reserve. Upon reaching USM, I had to pass the guardhouse. Two guards in blue were there. I slowed down my car. They watched me pass by, still. So I ignored them.

Next, was to find Ai Ling and Pei Ling. Took me a while before I could get to their hostel. Then as usual, Inn Cheq was there also, with a Johorean girl, from Pontian. I later found out that she knew Pei Wee, from Pontian also. They took me to Parit Buntar to have lunch, and I had Maggi Mee also but Bak Kut Teh version. Not bad. A group of other girls were there also, led by Lee Ting. I spoke little that time as I was the only guy there with about ten girls. I overheard Ai Ling mentioned about her eagerness to go to Ipoh.

After lunch, we went to the supermarket there. Very 'BIG'... =.=" Well, they were there for some Chinese New Year decorations. After that, I asked my friends to accompany me to go to the forest reserve, which signboard I saw earlier. Pei Ling was reluctant to go at first but in the end, because Inn Cheq came along, she came too. For long we searched the place but we could not find the forest reserve, thanks to the very misleading signboards.

Four of us, Ai Ling, Inn Cheq, Pei Ling, and I, journeyed to look for the forest reserve but failed. Nibong Tebal is a very unique location. It is a boundary between three states, namely Kedah, Penang and Perak. Nibong Tebal is of Penang, Parit Buntar is of Perak, and I am not sure of the Kedah's town but it was somewhat next to Serdang, a place famous for its fried porridge.

Parit Buntar is separated from Kedah by a river. It was the place they took me to have lunch earlier. Earlier, when we were having lunch, they looked across to the other side of the river and wondered where it was. After long searching for the 'hutan lipur' (forest reserve), we ended up at the other side of the river. Oh how excited they were to have discovered it that day.

Where to next? Serdang to have friend porridge? No way, it was too early, 4:00 p.m., and they didn't think the shop would sell on public holidays, so the plan was cancelled. I drove along a road and saw the signboard pointing to the highway. It was written there: Pulau Pinang (Penang), Ipoh. Then I asked them, "Wanna go Setiawan? Ipoh?" They answered, "Sure!!!"

Off we went, to Ipoh!!! OMG, spontaneous events are the best. No planning, no nothing. We had a great talk along the way about our lives and nonsenses. Well, the way to Ipoh really brought back memories to me. I used to travel that route frequently, Penang-KL and KL-Penang. The landscape changed from flatlands to hilly contours. Looking down the beautiful greenish valley from the high highway was breathtaking.

Not long later, we reached the Northern toll of Ipoh. The very first spot we spotted was Perak Cave. It looked interesting, so we entered the compound, only to learn that it was already passed 5 p.m. and it was already closed. We took pictures just outside the cave. We convinced ourselves that we should leave this visit for our next trip, where we would come down to Ipoh, then 'spontaneously' go further down to KL.

Well, we got lost in Ipoh, as I've been there only twice, and I could not really remember the routes there. We searched for the famous spot for beansprout chicken, for rounds and rounds and rounds, only to find that it was actually very near to us. After the beansprout chicken dinner, we got ourselves some famous Ipoh biscuts. I got some for my parents and a good friend of mine.

Then it was time to go back. 7:30 p.m. we started our journey and reached Nibong Tebal around 9:05 p.m.. We said goodbyes to each other and I thanked them for accompanying me. I went up the guys' hostel to look for Boon Peng, Han Yang and Wee Keat but they were not there. Only Han Yang was there, I spoke to him for an hour before heading back to Sungai Petani. Thus, ends my Thaipusam holiday this year...







Saturday, November 04, 2006

Tsunami & Biochemical Pathways of My Life & Introductory to My Close Friend's Life (please read at least the second part)

Ah... exam starts off next Thursday with Oral English and this should be my last blog before exam ends (I guess) and I would share a little story about my close friend in the end of this blog. Oral English... hmm... nothing new to me since the structure and procedure is somewhat the same like that of MUET.

On Thursday, which was two days ago, I returned home from school and logged on to MSN messenger, and I saw Sing Shia's account online, so I gave her a ting. She replied me telling me that my dear 'wife' Wen Chian and Sue Zin were both there to study for the exam on the following day: Biochemistry for Pharmacy. We had a Video Conversation and it was really very nice to see people that eases my vision and to hear voices familiar and sweet to my ears.

As usual the UVTSS (Sing Shia) was still as 'big-momma' as usual - not motherly but just like 'tua mak' ever sitting on her noisy, technical problem, president's chair while Sue Zin, did what she does best, lazed on the lower-bed of the double-decker bed of UVTSS. Then came my 'wife'. She was taking over my place on top of the world by climbing up to the upper-deck of the double-decker. Eh, since when I say you can use my nest? Ok ok... you're my 'wife'... so I let you lah... :p

We spoke for about and hour asking each other our lives and other people's lives too. Everyone seems fine there I and hope they really are, just that they are stressed of course. I felt nice. I felt homely. It was as if I was back there again with them. Together. Everyone was so happy back then. Never did I had bad mood or felt down when I was there with them. It was so beautiful. Everything was really only second to perfect. Well, what seems perfect does not last, then what about second to perfect?

At night, I couldn't sleep. I don't know but everything seems to bother me. A nameless fear took over me. Though there was fear, sorrow dominated my night. I couldn't help stop thinking of it. It was too powerful. I was too weak. My foundations weren't strong enough. It came and swept me away like a sudden rush of big water across a land, be it an open plain like the green, carpet-like, young paddy fields of Kedah, or a dense jungle as in the jungles of Taman Negara. Imagine a wave so strong that it shapes the rocks that it beated upon. The force was big, the impact unendurable. It was like tsunami. I was not only bent and washed away but also, I was crushed.

I couldn't sleep though it was already 1 a.m., so I onlined until 2 or 3, then I tried to sleep and surprisingly I woke up at 6 and wasn't sleepy at all. To tell you all the truth, my tear gland worked again. Now I understand how it feels like to be alone, and worst of all, to cry alone. Nobody is there for you to lean to.

Divided I was. I truly am. I really have not been so divided. Or at least I feel so. First Pathway, I could have the option to do Pre-Pharmacy right after SPM in SIT back then but due to my parents, I went STPM. I would be in Australia now. My cousin Junie, Aunt Sharon and Uncle Ian encouraged me to take this road. However, I did not. My parents asked me to choose, but I know, they wanted me to do STPM.

Second Pathway, I was to do A-Levels in Sedaya. At first my mother was keen on this but in the end, both my parents succumb to STPM also. If I had done so, I would most likely have done better than in STPM as the A-Levels is of modular system, not cumulative. I would be in third year USM Pharmacy now, senior to my dear 'wife'. I would be in KL this time.

Third Pathway, to do Pure Chemistry in UTAR, Setapak. This would be my field but not exactly what I wanted to do for Life. I would be either in second year (if I did not do Pharmacy in UCSI) or first year now (if I were to enrol in UTAR instead of AIMST). I would be in KL then. Make more new friends of many types from many places. Definitely more than here.

Fourth Pathway, back to UCSI School of Medicine, if I were to remain in the School of Medicine doing MD there, then I would have completed the first term of the second year. I would be in KL but half a year more and I would be in Kuala Terengganu but together with Jo-Lyn, Robin and Xin Thien and others too.

Fifth Pathway, would I have done Industrial Chemistry in UMS, Sabah, I might learn Hakka there. I would be near to the highest peak in Malaysia but away from many people. I would be in second year of the course which actually interest me no more than Pure Chemistry. Though brighter future than to do Pure Chemistry but at least Pure Chemistry in UTAR is closer to everything. I would have been with my best friend, Chin Leng there.

Sixth Pathway, if I had passed Biostatistics for Pharmacy, I would have remained in The School of Pharmacy. I would be in the second year now and taking exams for subjects like CVS, Blood and Pharmacotherapy, Physical Pharmaceutics I, Antimicrobial Therapy I, Dispensing & Compounding, and Biochemistry. I would be in KL. I would socialise better. My P-life would be better accepted there. Jason is there, Geok Im is there. Jon is there. I would still have a chance to see Dr. Thet and Dr. Zab. I would still have a chance to gossip and laugh with Ms. Wong and Ms. Saw. I would be with my 'family', with Soon Yee, with Sia Chin, with my 'wife'! This is the nearest to perfect but it is also the furthest from me. It is out of reach. A dead-end.

Seventh Pathway is the present one. AIMST. Foundation. Humiliating huh? Is it worth it to go such distances just for a degree in Pharmacy? Now I'm doubting. My P-Life is not well accepted here. Everyday I see my batchmates, I feel old. Everytime I see my seniors, I feel very left out, being like a creature of a class far lower than them. Every moment I see Pharmacy students, I marvelled at them but I felt sad and defeated. The feelings just come naturally. No way I could control them. I should not feel this way.

It seems like nothing really matters to me now. I feel very lonely. I am lonely. It would be impossible to find a group of people just like my 'family', a combination of people from all over and of different but complimentary character and speech. Nobody here understands how I feel. Whenever I speak of my P-Life, many shun away. One example is when I spoke of it, he (being one of my closer friends) was stunned and everything went silent. Would God please send me someone who understands me? Would He please send me someone to accompany me so I would not have to go through it alone, lonely and afraid?

Being a Chemist is not really that bad. Being a Pharmacist is not that great. Being a Doctor is not at all in my care. I admit, being a Pharmacist was my vision and mission. It used to be. Now that I've heard the words of my little sister Qiu Ping, which stroke my mind fast and hard, that she prefers a simple life, I began to feel tired. I feel left in the middle. I no longer have the will nor the urge to go on. To think about the amount of money spent and the time spent too makes me feel guilty. Should I leave the world of education and just plunge into the world of work and to remain unsuccessful? The Eighth Pathway - to be a Lotus Eater.

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I would now keep my promise and wouldn't break it. It is time I share something about one of my close friend (it is far from possible for me to mention his name here, I'm sorry) as he wishes me to do so for him as I know more people than he does and more people know me too (according to him lah...). He could not possibly write this in his blog because he treats this as his Dark Secret. I wouldn't actually classify it as a dark secret but... he is a homosexual, a gay.

Life haddn't been easy for him and I am grateful that he hasn't gone mad. At least not yet. He saw a short homosexual clip involving the life of gays and lesbians. It is a Taiwanese-based movie and it makes him feel that he wants someone to love and be loved. On the night after he watched the clip, he really felt very sad. He called me up to talk to me. He cried over the phone as he spoke to me.

Many so-called "normal", straight people (they, those "normal" straight people, treat it as if homosexuals are ABNORMAL) do not understand the feelings of people like my close friend. They even condemn people like my close friend. One of which, sadly to name him, he is Victor of foundation February batch 2006 of AIMST.

My close friend, as a homosexual, wishes to lead a family life too but it is, impossible to him. When I questioned him why, he said it would be cheating another person's love. It is like cheating another person, the girl. Another problem arises too - when there is no love, there is no sex. Then how is he going to have a family? Even if he manages to get his wife pregnant, then what about commitment? He is in great fear of what would happen to him in his old age if he were to remain a bachelor without children. He would be alone with nobody to take care of him, not even a wife or husband.

Like most straight people (I won't use the word normal here) homosexuals needs company and love too. Think about this: the society has already reject or at least find it hard to come to acceptance of these people, they are isolated. This increases the degree of loneliness to them. They would appear desperate, and straight people would start to say that gays and lesbians are desperate.

If you were to think it over again, it is the society of straights that forced them to the edge of isolation and now the straights are pushing them over the edge down into the bottomless abyss of desperation and condemn. In a way, the straights are not being fair here. Worst of all, the some straights say that they are fine with homosexuals but they do show some phobia and uneasyness.

It is very unfair for them. They have heavier psychology burdens as compared to others so some manage their lives not as good as others, and they are labelled 'useless people' by many straights. They live underground. Gays and lesbians are humans too. They are no different from any of us. Why should we fear them? Why should we condemn them? Why should we hate them? Why should we feel uneasy among them? Why should we laugh at them? Would we ever come to acceptance?

I would like to share these with you. It is the homosexual-themed project. I have seen it. Though I do not really know mandarin, but I understand what it is about. :o)

http://homepage.ntu.edu.tw/~b94610125/theDoor/theDoor.wmv

http://homepage.ntu.edu.tw/~b94610125/theDoor/

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一直相信著的又是什麼呢
一直對抗著的又是否存在著
無法違背的世界
我們選擇了跟隨
放下彼此 走向前

一直想活得像別人那樣子
到頭來我們連自己都不是
只能不停地改變
有誰能夠站在原點
才會一直 到最後

才發現你的離開 不只是一場意外
不只是感情路上的一段
那曾被你親吻過的天空
就在那一夜失去笑容

到最後我們的愛 變成一片空白
變成你轉身抖落的塵埃
那曾被寂寞佔據過的彩虹
就在那一夜失去盡頭

那曾被回憶肆虐過的溫柔
就在離別後變得冷漠

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

AIMST Clinic & Pharmacotherapy

As the condition of my sickness is about the same, though it improves little, I managed to make myself go to college today. I decided to see the doctor and so, I skipped the Maths tutorial. To my horror, the clinic would only be open at 10 a.m. and it was then 9 a.m., so I went to the library until it was time for Chemistry. Then I went to the lecture room, which was empty and dark at first. Being the first student there, of course, I switched on everything including the lights and air-cond. Then came Ms. Rebecca, and she knew I skipped Maths again. :)

The whole of today I was filled with stars and I didn't pay much attention in Ms. Rebecca's class. I was talking happily with Billy and Chew Weng instead. Then came Mr. Hoe's class, but I went to see the doctor instead. While waiting at the clinic to be registered, I made a new friend. Her name's Luana, a beautiful mixed girl from a place that brightens up my feelings, Cheras! Taman Taynton View! And then I was blabbling about Cheras when she mentioned about UCSI, which she in the whole of last year. Much to my delight, though I had not met her, I felt glad that at least there was someone who had been in the same college as I before in this place called AIMST.

I was then called to enter the doctor's clinic, and she said: 'have a great time' and I was like thinking, what a great time I would have! The doctor was a female Indian and she was quite blur. I felt funny when she did not take my temperature and she asked me whether had I got fever. I told her that I did not know and I just felt warm. Then I told her I had phelgm though I didn't cough that frequent, and a block nose. I oversaw the prescription she wrote - Loratadine 1/1 o.n. 3/7. I mentioned to her that I took a combination drug of pseudoephedrine and loratadine the night before and had not much effect. She wanted to give me piriton instead and she told me: 'no, loratadine is a different class than the pseudoephedrine that you took.' Hoy! I did tell you that I took a combination drug right? Stupid!

Exam is around the corner and I am prepared for only one subject. Guess I have to do what I did back then. Study intensely during study week. I remembered how I studied during study week for General Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, Medicinal Chemistry, and Pharmacology & Immunopharmacology. Which I passed without much difficulty. Unlike Microbiology, Physiology, Peripheral Nervous System & Therapy, Communication Skills and Health Care, which I had to struggle, and of course, not forgetting the subject I dread most - Biostatistics which I failed. XD It was fun back then though. Hope it would be too this time!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Return to Semeling

I should be in Ms. Yuverani's tutorial now but since I am not feeling well, might as well just take a self-declared holiday as today's lectures and tutorials are mostly subjects I love and strong in. After the dangerous trip to Yala, I stayed at home doing nothing for the following two days. Then, on Saturday, Ken, Mic, and Yik arrived from Kuching and as according to the plan, they were to stay in my house for one night before going back to Semeling the next day.

However, on Saturday, my car's cooling system broke down, and my father's is in town so in the end i had to borrow my cousin's slk to fetch them. It was kind of a bumpy ride as they brought more things than before. My, you should have seen how their 'things reproduced'. So we stayed in the house until the car had been fixed. However, the car couldn't be fixed completely, so I had to use my father's car to bring everyone back to Semeling.

Well, of course, before going back to Semeling, we went to a few places in Penang. Since Ken and Mic wants to do some shopping, where else? Gurney Plaza and Prangin Mall is where I took them to. Poor Yik, he had to endure much. Other than shopping, I took them to Swatow Lane to have 'ais kacang', and Botanical Gardens to see monkey. Well, someone was not afraid of monkey attack and he taunted the monkeys. Watch out leh... After a tiring day spent at Penang, finally it is time to go back to Semeling, much to Yik's liking.

On Saturday night, I went online for a while. Then I saw Ah San's msn account being online. I messaged her and she straight away invited me to have a web-cam conversation. How nice it was to see that she was there studying with Sing Shia. I could still remember when I was back there. I was there, in the same room with Sing Shia and Sue Zin studying Communication Skills. Then I thought back of the times when Sing Shia and I went to Sue Zin's unit at around 2 a.m. to study Peripheral Nervous System & Pharmacotherapy, which the exam is on 9 a.m. the same day. 3 a.m. we went McD to eat. Crazy. When my dear 'wife' Wen Chian heard what we did, she commented on us being crazy. XD

I arrived in SP 7 p.m. in the evening, exhausted. I bathed, changed, and online. Then, I had dinner, then I was off to bed. I woke up this morning, having a blocked nose and I felt light-headed and drained of all energy. What could I do? I was debating against myself whether to go or not. In the end, I felt lazy and uncomfotable, so I ignored the idea of going to lectures. Then, in the afternoon, Ken smsed me saying that there is a pop-quiz for Chemistry. Instead of being in distress, I was like: "Ahh... rubbish... chap siau ee..."

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Introductory Clinical Tan Chemistry

My dear... I've got a younger sister, now only I know... her name's Qiu Ping... Same surname with me somemore... wah... everyday bombard me with Chemistry doubts until I don't know how to answer. Good leh, at least got someone to bug me with Chemistry, my passion. Eh, lil' sis, holiday leh, still bombard me with questions? hehe. Basically, the questions she asked were regarding atomic and ionic size of the elements of the periodic table. I am kind of happy having you as a sister! ^^

After Gwen's wedding dinner, of course, cousins would gather for mahjong cum gossip session. Then I took them to Gurney Plaza for window shopping (hehe, no money leh). All the while, messages were flooding into my sms inbox from various people and various places - SP, Alor Star, Setapak, Wangsa Maju, Cheras, Sibu, Segamat, JB, Ipoh, PJ, and even Sitiawan. They came, thought not on the same time but came consistently. My cousins, especially Robert/Liang Wern, couldn't stand it and he started to joke sarcastically.

Then cometh the time for my grandmother to journey home to Yala, known for danger of bombs. Actually, my uncle invited me to join him for a hike up Penang Hill on Tuesday morning but unfortunately, that was the day my grandmother planned to go back and I was to drive her until at the most Hadyai. So we set out early in the morning, well, not really early though, but around 9:30 a.m. like that la. Then reached Hadyai about before noon. We went straight to my aunt, Lay Choo's house, after praying at the Monkey God temple, then went shopping.

Suddenly, when it comes to the question on whether how should grandmother go back to Yala, many suggestion came: taxi, follow friend's car, bla bla bla. In the end, I thought, it had been a long time since I last set foot on Yala, which was about nine months - wow, a pregnant lady would have also given birth. It was also because of my grandfather. So in the end, I drove into Yala. I thought back of what I told my uncle: I will not drive into Yala. Now, I drove in.

So it was kind of a funny ride there as half-way, my grandmother asked me whether I could drive or not, and I answered, if I couldn't then? Would she drive it for me? Then she kept quiet and say she would ask my mother's youngest brother, Vinit/Keong, to come and drive instead. When asked about what would be of Keong's car, she said just leave it there. Of course, three of us had a good laugh at it. Then we reached Yala at about 6 p.m. then of course, we went shopping again despite the fear of being bombed. It was quite nice to see familiar faces of long I had not seen though I could only see them for a short while. Then the next day, it was the day for me to return to Penang. It was a bumpy and wet 6-hour drive with breaks and delays in between of course. In Nathawi, I went to the temple of the Goddess of Mercy to pray as it was also a very long time since I last visited the place. In Kedah and Penang, it was raining heavily that afternoon.

To share something about a student in AIMST, let us call him Bird Bird. This Bird Bird guy seems to be friendly but words of sacarsm comes out of his mouth each time he speaks. He is my senior in AIMST (only by education, not by age which makes him similiar to CBB). Twice he saw me in the library reading some books related to Medicine and he started teasing me about me reading materials out of the syllabus (both of us are presently foundation students). Twice! I just kept quiet and told him that I just read those things for the project I was doing - Phenylketonuria of Biology presentation though the exact reason was for interest. I found out that he too, were browsing through books like Physiology, Anatomy and Clinical Medicine. Well, it is like the pot calling the kettle black!

The third time, I was really looking for the meaning of a word in the Medical dictionary and there he came again, with his pseudo-smart, trendy, tacky look. Then he started to shoot me again. This time, whatever it might had cost, I was not going to let him go just like this so easily. He started off by greeting politely, that was kind of not normal. I thought I could axe my plan of making fun of him, but then his usual self came - "Whoa! Medical Student already huh?!" I gave him a mild, bored glance and told him, well, foundation students can also browse these books for there was no rule in the library saying that those books were only for medical students.

He then tried to change the topic but wasn't good at it. He asked me, what subjects I normally read (those out of syllabus ones). He even gave me examples - oh, Biochemistry? Physiology? And I told him plainly, Pharmacology. To my surprise, he looked stunned, and he asked me what Pharmacology is, a sudden 'gladness' came into me (oh, how Evil I am). My heart began to laugh, if it was audible, then the whole library and the ones outside the periphery of the library border would had heard it. It was a good thing I did not mention Medicinal Chemistry or Therapeutics. Funny lah, he wanted to be in the Medicine programme but doesn't know what Pharmacology is. HA! You would have been closely referred to CBB the CIBAI BIN fellow (name starts with a V) if you had done more harm.

So I was just being courteous to be kind enough to explain to him what Pharmacology is. He asked me whether I wanted to be a Pharmacist, and I questioned him back, is Pharmacology only for Pharmacy students? He couldn't answer as he didn't know. Hey, Bird Bird, tell you something, though I failed many times until I end up in AIMST, though your STPM results might be better than mine, it doesn't mean you're more knowledgable than I am! No doubt I am older than you one year and though it doesn't mean that I know more than you but I definitely had seen more than you had. I may be your junior but I have learnt subjects and things equivalent to 1st year Medical Students and 2nd year Pharmacy Students. I was once a Medical student and Pharmacy student before! One word of caution: BETTER CHECK YOUR OPPONENT'S BACKGROUND BEFORE SPARKING A SARCASTIC JOKE!

I am far away from you all. Very far away. E-Jun, Max & Xiang Bin, miss you all very much but you may not trust me. All those from the TAR family, take good care of yourselves and hope you all find your lovers. Don't forget me that time yeah! XD Wei Keat (though I seldom speak to you now, doesn't mean I dislike you or forgotten about you) and other P-life friends, may you all be in well being yeah!

To mama and papa and all other MD's final exam is over now, so hope you're enjoying your holidays safely. My dears, needless for me to mention your names, & Hui Zhong, Sok Nee, Michelle, Ah San! and of course all those related, you all are busy preparing for war, 6 subjects right? Scientific English for Special Purposes, Antimicrobial Therapy I, Cardiovascular System & Pharmacotherapy, Physical Pharmacy I, Biochemistry for Pharmacy, and Dispensing & Compounding. Better perform well.

Cai Hong, Cheow Yee, Saw Ean & other Food Sc. & Nutrition & Biotech fellows, study well and may we meet each other in the working world. Music, BABA, Psycho, anything else lah... I know you all but can't possibly put all names here. All the best to you all. Jason, wish I could see you in KL one last time before you further your studies to UK. Geok Im, would have continued having dinner and park visits with you if I were still there, and if your boyfriend allows, that is. Jon, would have visited you more times if I were to have a chance to remain studying there.

I still do not feel right not mentioning my dears' names, hehehe... FooChew ne but don't know how to speak FooChew punya Cik Tang Sia Chin o (always say shut up shut up)... the big cannon liar mother MADAM Tan Sing Shia (NINNER time! want to have NINNER?)... so called super leng lui Chow Soon Yee xiu je (sao pei time!)... Cute and always adorable but dangerous White Lady Wong Sue Zin (cha boh... cha po)... and... last of all... but not least la... XD my dear 'wife' Ms. Pang... Wen Chian (WEE!!!)!!!

Back there, everything was fine. Though it was KL, a place known for many people treated like dogs if he/she doesn't have money, I did not feel so even though I am not from a wealthy family. Does anybody near me know how I feel? The humiliation that I feel? The laughter and sarcasm of most people younger than I am? The insult some so called 'seniors' made upon me? CIBAI BIN!

屋檐如悬崖风铃如沧海我等燕归来
时间被安排演一场意外你悄然走开
故事在城外浓雾散不开看不清对白
你听不出来风声不存在是我在感慨

梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待

闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我两鬓斑白
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔
天在山之外雨落花台我等你来

一身琉璃白透明着尘埃你无瑕的爱
你从雨中来诗化了悲哀我淋湿现在
芙蓉水面采船行影犹在你却不回来
被岁月覆盖你说的花开过去成空白

梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆
我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生...

我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待

Monday, October 23, 2006

Principles of Gwen-Vincent-al Chemistry

Where in the world have you been hiding?
Really you were perfect.
I only wish I knew your secret,
Who is this new tutor?
Father once spoke of an angel,
I used to dream he'd appear,
Now as I sing I can sense him,
And I know he's here.
Here in this room he calls me softly,
Somewhere inside...hiding.
Somehow I know, he's always with me,
he's the unseen genius.

Angel of music,
Guide and Guardian,
Grant to me you glory!

Angel of music,
Hide no longer,
secret and strange angel...


Saturday was Deepavali and there was something kind of more grand to me that night. The Wedding Dinner of my dear cousin, Gwendelyn and her quite recently met boyfriend, Vincent. Generally, they got married in Singapore a few days before and she treated us on Saturday, and, of all places, at Tanjung Paradise. OMG... But what to do? XD

In the afternoon, all of us went to Gwen's house for a tea-drinking ceremony. Everyone was there and I knew every single faces though since I am quite close to the family and I knew most of the extended family members and relatives (as I am connected directly to Gwen both sides and the Singapore Kia has no representitive here in Penang). Well, since Esther was not there and she was in Australia, we started a video conversation with her via MSN messenger so that she could see the events here. Of course, I chatted with most people there as I knew them. People from both sides refered to me as a directory, identifying people.

I knew that night I would be quite busy as they would assign some tasks for me to help lessen their burden. Upon reaching the hotel, I helped them to take some things up to their hotel room, then I descended back to the ballroom with Gwen's extra-ordinary smart and fussy sister, Junie. Then the kay-poh work started. Jasmine (Ah Hoon) was there to help ushering guests to assigned tables. Alongside Jasmine, there were of course Aunt Bee Choo and Uncle Tai Hai, Junie, my parents, and some aunty-aunty. Gwen's brother, Chai was busy taking pictures here and there and his girlfriend, Sylvene did some usherings also. Two of Gwen's friends sat on a bench, taking care of the guestbook.

I noticed something: the presence of a moth, medium sized, and the colour was brown. It was flying into the ballroom via the main entrance when I approached the entrance. Not to say superstitious, but this thought automatically came to me - the moth represented my late Great Grandmother, who was Gwen's paternal Grandmother, who loved her very much. After it flew inside, I lost sight of it but many said they saw and one of my relatives said she saw the moth on the bride's table, the main table together and the moth left about half-way through the dinner.

Back to my task that night, I was assigned something quite dangerous - taking care of angpows... Every angpow received was passed to me to be kept in a bag and I was to safe-guard it. Well, of course, 50-50 bargain la... hahaha... The dinner went smoothly and everyone was kind of happy there. Some played pranks on the bride and bridegroom. Uncle Kok Hoe was the coolest. He invited Gwen and Vin to join us for karaoke and asked them to treat us. Of course, they rejected XD. Uncle Kok Hoe then joked that it was ok if they felt they needed to rest earlier or go back to sum up the total angpow money, they could go and sign for one round then let us settle the rest XD. I do not know they rejected this or not but I told Uncle Kok Hoe, no need, as the angpows were still in my keeping. Then the whole crowd said ok then, ignore Gwen and Vin then. XD

After the dinner, I joined Kok Hoe and the rest: Emily (Xiao Yug) & boyfriend Foo, Jasmine & husband Swee Leong (or some people calls him Leon), Kok Hoe & wife Lee Er, Liang Wern, Celia, Jessie, Irene, Su Ling and husband Teik. We went to Baby Cafe and loitered there until 1:30 a.m.. We played a lame game there and it went like this: in a group, there was a glass, half-filled with beer. Everyone had to spin two dices and we went in turns. Everyother spins were ignored/passed exept: doubles (i.e. two threes), seven, eight, and night. If one rolled a seven, he/she had two choices, to pass or to add beer onto the glass of beer. If he/she did so, he/she had to spin the dices again. If one rolled an eight, he/she had to drink half the amount of beer present and he/she had to spin again. If nine, then the whole amount of beer present, and spin again. If double (except two fours which would add up to 8), the turn sequence was reversed.

Liang Wern, who doesn't drink, had enough that night. He rolled quite a number of 8s and 9s consistantly. Luckily he was not drunk. Kok Hoe, unfortunately, vomited as claimed by Emily. hahaha. It was quite a lame game but not bad. XD

Then the next day came. I would skip the dreadry morning I had as it involved my mother and I am actually tired of mentioning the problems between me and her. In the afternoon, we went to Ipoh with some aunty-aunty and went until late at night. As I entered Ipoh, I recalled the time I was there, in the Fair City of the White Lady Sue Zin. The trip was not very enjoyable and I got very irritated. We reached Penang at about 10:30p.m. and reached home around 11p.m., then it was off to mahjong with Liang Wern, Celia, and Jessie. We played mahjong and chatted/gossiped to around 3 a.m.. Then I went out to look up at the sky, there were stars. This was one of my favourite moments and I intended to share this moment and experience with a good friend of mine, Kenny, but what I got in the end? A scolding from him in the next morning.

Friday, October 20, 2006

SP, Penang, Sarawak & Pharmacotherapy

SP = Sungai Petani = Sao Pei = Stupid Place = Stewpid Place = Sarawak Penang

Finally, the break started. On Wednesday, everyone was like in no mood of studying as they couldn't wait to go home! Those going back KL were in a herd to go back together while others go separately. Most Sarakwakians had to travel to Penang to fly to KL, and hence back to their hometowns. Ken, Khim Yik, and Michelle came back to Penang with me on Wednesday and took their flight back to Sarawak on Thursday afternoon.

Basically, straight away after class, I drove back to Penang. It was about 5 p.m. when I left SP and I estimated we would reach at 7 p.m. but Khim Yik said we would reach by 6 as the traffic on the highway before reaching the Penang Bridge branch was quite smooth. However, upon reaching the toll, hell, it jammed. It took us half an hour just to pass the toll and another half an hour to just cross the bridge. My guess was correct back then that there was an accident on the bridge, because the jam was just no normal. The vehicles were moving too slow though it was peak hour where many people finish their work. Michelle got quite a shock seeing so many cars surrounding my SLK (Stewpid Little Kelisa) and the slow jamming traffic.

After the mid-point of the bridge, the traffic went smoothly. Well, after the bridge, there was still jam in the island. I forgot my keys, so I had to go to my aunt's place to get the keys first before I could go back to my house. Hell, just to cross a traffic light, I had to wait for 4 intervals before I could cross. Imagine I had to wait for at least 3 traffic lights!!! However, we reached my house finally, safe and sound. Then we bathed before going out to Gurney Plaza. They commented on my house being clean. Thank God they didn't complain about the things in my house. 3 people staying in a house but the things were like belonging to 6.

We managed to shop in MPH in Gurney as we went there too late. Khim Yik, as usual, was too hungry to shop, so I took him down to the hawker centre to have something to eat first. OMG... the things there were so expensive, and I felt bad having to bring him to eat there. After he had something, we went up to MPH to search for Ken and Michelle. While they were busy looking around, something caught my attention... Practical Drug Treatment and Clinical Pharmacokinetics. I took those books and went to the Reader's Circle and read there.

However, time did not allow me to do further research as the time to leave drew nigh. So, what to do? Leave lah... I then took them to Northam Beach Cafe for dinner cum supper. OMG... expensive again... but nevermind... they are rich people... As usual, Ken would take photos of all food everyone was having... his camera always eats the food before the rightful owner does. Then it was time to go home, but, before that, MUACHEE! Upon reaching home, there were 3 corns and many chicken drumsticks awaiting our return. So we feasted again on the small round mahjong dining table with a bottle of Coke. Full! Bloated!

Then, off to bed! Midnight - another nightmare. Khim Yik started hitting everyone around him in his sleep. Ken got hit twice and I was displaced from my position of my sleep. Originally Ken slept on Khim Yik's right while I slept on his left. When morning comes, Ken was on his left while I was on his right. Why? because we had to move in order to protect ourselves!!! Then, morning came. Everyone got ready and the three packed and got ready to go home! I then took them to Jelutong market, as usual, where I would take most of my friends to when they visited Penang. They are the third group of people. First being David and Shi Yi, second being Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian. This time, we had quite a lot of things - Khim Yik and Michelle took dried Wan Than Mee while Ken took Penang Hokkien Mee (Prawn Mee). I ordered Char Koay Teow (Ah Choo's) for them to try also. At least things are cheaper here. Then Ken wanted some toast and my father asked me whether we wanted roasted pork - who would resist?

After breakfast, we went round island before going to the airport. The time was just nice for us to do so and after round island, I sent them straight away to the airport, and I parted with them there. Well, though not that bitter a parting like when I parted from David and Shi Yi or Sing Shia, Sue Zin and Wen Chian, but I did feel a bit heavy hearted to see them leave. However, they'll be back next week, so no worries... Then I went home after dropping them at the airport. I slept for a while then online. Well, made two new friends, one whose name is Kin, or so as he called himself, and another one whose name is also Desmond. Both are nice people though.

But I had to leave early as I was to go to the hairstylist. I dyed my hair red and got it cut short. Then I came straight back home... Then I did nothing but just wait for the time to pass by. Then I slept. Suddenly, I received a few messages from Kin and Bee Teng and Kenny. I was too blur to answer them so I just kept my reply short. Suddenly Kin called me and chatted with me for more than an hour or at least an hour. We talked about many things but mostly about me... then after that, Desmond called... for a while la... then both of them slept, leaving me alone, so now, I am typing this blog...

狼牙月伊人憔悴我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非

缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭

繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶

你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑

rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁红尘醉微醺的岁月

啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦

铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

我会好好过吗?

Finally finished PKU presentation for Biology and things seem to get lighter since holiday is near. Everyone is homesick and craving to go home. All cannot wait for Wednesday to come, then most would travel south or east. Well, it means I have to go back to the place I dread as much as I love - Penang Island.

Well, made new friends these few days with one called Kenny from SP. Now in such a short time, I had many miscommunications and misunderstandings with him. This results from me being too sensitive and his command of english being relatively ... ... not that wide. Well, not to say that I look down on him but misunderstandings between me and him do arise from this. Also, as a result of my unstable emotion state these few days, I tend to get extra-sensitive and emotional, thus misunderstandings arise.

Celebration of Sok Bee's birthday on last Friday night was kind of nice but I had another thing in mind. Everything was planned to begin at 10:45p.m. but I asked some people, namely those closer to me: Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng, Li Chi and Yuan Xin to come down half an hour earlier as I had something to tell them. Something to confess. Something I had been hiding from them for 3 months or so. It took me a lot of courage to tell them. I do not know what would their reaction be. I planned to do something I like with them before telling them as I was afraid that I do not have the chance to do that again with them - playing the violin. XD However, things did not go as I planned as there were other people around at that time and Li Chi wasn't around as she wasn't feeling well, so I postponed to after the birthday celebration, no matter how late. I begged them to stay back as I wanted to tell them that night. I do not wish to postpone this anymore.

Sok Bee's birthday celebration was a small one but also quite enjoyable at the same time. We hid ourselves behind the new cafeteria where all lights were out, and we lit the candle lights while waiting for her to come. Though belated, I hope she really enjoyed herself. Well, as usual, I gave a few simple violin pieces to everyone: 东风坡,Kiss Goodbye, and Pachelbel's Canon in D Major, with an extra 龙卷风 this round.

After that, I urged all of them to go back to their respective rooms while asking Kai Liang, Ken, Khim Yik, Bee Teng and Yuan Xin to stay back. Li Chi did not respond to any of my calls, so be it that she was not meant to know that night. I felt so guilty so I apologised to them first as I have not been telling the truth to them. I have been hiding my P-life from them. I felt that it wouldn't be sincere if I were to keep on shielding it from them. I did not plan to do so earlier but since things gone haywire nowadays, I do not with to worsen the condition.

Telling them wasn't easy. The greatest obstacles there - fear and acceptance. I fear things would get worse and everyone would leave like electrons upon ionisation of the atom. Acceptance - could they accept my P-life, my past? Most are youngsters there, three years younger than I am. Exposure of friends and the mixture of the types of friends might not be diverse enough. I was just gambling that they've encountered such people with lives similar to mine before. Thus I told them. However, the condition I was in and the way I told them were not really nice.

I hope after they know my situation, they could understand me better or at least understand how I felt throughout this period of time and why my behaviour is the strangest amongst them. I hope now they understand why I could not let go of my life back in KL, where everything was so flawlessly perfect after a year there and suddenly all shattered into nothing - not even pieces nor powder. After one year struggling in KL to fit in and to get a coordinated happy-go-lucky life in KL, I finally found where I belong and my 'family' the CB-Sakai gang. Though only a short period of time, I felt as if I have been so close with them as if I were in their family. I felt accepted, fitted-in, I felt like I was meant to be there. Everything I could say out without having to think so much. I could just speak my heart out freely.

But things are not like that anymore. The perfect picture is shattered just like that just because of one paper - Biostatistics for Pharmacy. I can never forget this. It has really changed my life so drasticly. I could have remained back in KL but I chose this road. I feel very sad and bad. I chose this road because Pharmacy is still in my heart. As a result, I had to go through this life of dread. It was a very hard decision but I made it in a very short time. I gave up my a big part of my life - friends and love... I feel lifeless... Everything is like spent and dry...

Seeing some people over here really breaks my heart. People are good looking and they can read Pharmacy. I on the other hand is ugly and I can't even read Pharmacy. Failure. No match for them. No match for their stuck-up-ness also...


你的爱很像泡沫
太轻或太重 都不在手中
我的爱就像天空
太放或太收 你都只是风
你来过却爱上自由
你出走我不问理由

我会好好过 等你再爱我
总有个角落 会让你想起我
我会好好过 等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守候

你留下很多
够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重 纵使爱太弱
我会好好过 等你回头
会看到的一定是我

Thursday, October 12, 2006

无字的请批

Yeah! today I got my new specs... love it... :p well... since now I'm waiting for someone, might as well crap something here. Hmm... I saw this evening's sky and I felt... celestial... beautiful clouds of yellow and pink and purple upon a pale azure sky. Makes me float...

Basically, I've made a new friend on Mid Autumn festival - Qiu Ping. She is a great girl. Truly nice and beautiful in her own way. I never knew her name but I noticed her presence in AIMST. hehehe... stewpid right? Mid Autunm festival was quite nice though but I did not really enjoy it. We heard that there would be a gathering at SP park/garden at night, so Chew Weng and Kai Liang organised a gathering there. I'm sure they all had a great time. It was kind of nice to see candle lights everywhere in the park at night. Beautiful.

Nowadays, school seems to be quite hectic. Lab reports, assignments, presentations, bla bla bla... Today, my biology presentation wasn't very good. My group, of Priya (dari sini) Darishini, Sobanah (so banana), and Li Chi (ah Chi), got the topic Phenylketonuria (PKU). It is an autosomal recessive genetic disease where phenylalanine accumulates in the blood due to lack of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme. It is due to the mutation which happens in chromosome number 12, the q (long) arm, position 22 to 24, where, in classic PKU, the amino acid argenine in the 408th position is substituted with tryptophan, thus resulting in either a non-functional protein or another type of protein produced instead of phenylalanine hydroxylase enzyme.

Generally, we divided the presentation into a few parts: Introduction, Genetics, Biochemistry, Pathophysiology, Clinical Medicine, and Treatment. Priya started off introducing superficially on what PKU is. Then I continued with the Genetics of PKU. I took over the Biochemistry part also as I am already quite familiar with the terms used and the Chemistry of phenylalanine (Thank you Dr. Thet! ). Phenylalanine is converted to tyrosine and this reaction is catalysed by the enzyme phenylalanine hydroxylase and its coenzyme tetrahydrobiopterin. If either the enzyme or the coenzyme is absent from the body, then phenylalanine cannot be conerted into tyrosine. This will cause accumulation of phenylalanine in the circulatory system.

Phenylalanine, will undergo an alternative metabolism to yield phenylpyruvic acid, phenylacetic acid, phenyllactic acid and phenylethylamine. The derivative phenylacetic acid, or phenylacetate, will give out a musty 'mousy' odour in sweat and urine. This is one of the symptoms of PKU. Since phenylalanine is in the circulatory system, it can be transported to the brain. There, the blood brain barrier (BBB) present to control substances moving in and out of the brain. Large amino acids like phenylalanine is transported across the BBB via the large neutral amino acid transporter (LNAAT). If the blood has high concentration of phenylalanine, then phenylalanine would competitively bind to the LNAAT with other amino acids. Phenylalanine would saturate the LNAAT, thus we can say only phenylalanine is transported to the brain. Since there is only phenylalanine in the brain and not much of other amino acids, the brain cannot grow or develop properly, thus causing mental retardation. This causes the degeneration of the Myelin sheath also and this would disturb the nerve conduction and nervous system (both centrally and peripherally). Therefore, patients of PKU often experience symptoms like seizures, slow reaction, and spasticity.

Tyrosine is important in the body as it is a precursor of many other things in the body like the pigment melanin, neurotransmitters epinephrine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. In PKU, since tyrosine is low, then the production of these chemicals would be less, thus resulting in the discoordination of the nervous system (centrally and peripherally). Low levels of melanin results in albinism.

There is no pharmacotherapy for PKU. The treatment is just to control the intake of phenylalanine for life. Screenings for PKU include enzyme assay to test for carriers of PKU, and Guthrie test, where the newborn baby's heel is pricked and the blood is tested on the growth of the bacteria Bacillus subtilis on beta-2-thyenylalanine. Beta-2-thyenylalanine inhibits the growth of the bacteria but it could be overcome by phenylalanine. Therefore, PKU patients, with high phenylalanine level in the blood, will result in a positive test where the bacteria could grow. Carriers of PKU are detected via enzyme assay where phenylalanine is administered orally, then the rate of clearance of phenylalanine from the body is being tested. For carriers, it takes about 8-10 hours for the phenylalanine to be cleared.

Sobana did on the Pathophysiology and Clinical Medicine I of PKU while Li Chi presented on Clinical Medicine II and Clinical Medicine III. We presented half-way only though as time does not allow us to finish the presentation. When it was time for Priya Darishini to present, Mr. Hoe asked us to stop as the time for Biology had ended. Priya was so so so agitated as she still had her part to finish (don't worry, everything will be fine).

Actually, I still feel rejected among the people here in AIMST. I do not know what I should do. I have been putting on the mask for these three months now and things began to go haywire yesterday when I had a misunderstanding with Li Chi. How am I suppose to tell everyone here? How am I suppose to tell Kai Liang and Bee Teng? What would be Khim Yik's and Qiu Ping's reactions? How would Ken and Michelle think of me? Could Chew Weng and Li Chi understand what I am going through? Of what impression would Billy and Yuan Xin have on me? Could we all be as close as we are now or closer? NO! I don't think so... If I were to reveal my P-life, then it would be a disaster. Kai Liang, Khim Yik, Ken, Chew Weng and Billy would move far far away from me... Bee Teng, Qiu Ping, Michelle, Li Chi and Yuan Xin would keep their distances from me... All will treat me different. Is it worth to take the risk? People are leaving my circle of love... slowly...

阿嬷不识字
但是伊识真多的代志
伊讲闪电是天的锁匙
锁匙打开有雨水
阿嬷不识字
但是有一张情批写乎伊
经过几十年不曾拆过
她讲写字不如相思
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
无留半字 就断了过去
不甘心付出 为伊哮归暝
我爱的伊 欲来离开
伊讲孤单尚适合伊
山盟海誓 也失去意义
情批拢无字 痴心变青眠
我甲阿嬷问
阿嬷的情批是写啥咪
伊讲情人欲爱无勇气
才来用字骗情意

Healers of Life...

Healers of Life...

Waterflowers of Osgilliath...

Waterflowers of Osgilliath...