Take Me Back... Allow Me To Go Back... Please... I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!

Today... was a fine day... It rained in the morning, suddenly Hui Ci came to me and asked me some questions. Nowadays, I admit that I'm not having a great time even when I visited Tupah or Tanjung Dawai or Lembah Bujang or Pantai Merdeka with great people like King Ming, Hui Ci, Ken, Khim Yik, Kai Liang, and Pei Wen... How glad I was to see Zen Chia when I was about to attend Maths Lecture today. I asked her whether she wanted to go Central Square with me later, she agreed... After Maths, I went to Central Square with Zen Chia and Khim Yik. I was there to get cards for two of my friends while Zen Chia was there for food, else Khim Yik was there for a hair cut.

I was driving back from Semeling to Sungai Petani at around 7:18 p.m. and I suddenly saw the clouds in the sky. I noticed that they looked like horses, snowy-white horses, prancing through an azure cascading sky blended with a paste of tangerine as the sun westerned. My heart flew back to where I used to be last year. I would be at Connaught's playground, sitting on the swing, with the wind blowing against my face while I looked up towards the sky, appreciating the evening pink sky.

Where and to whom can I speak freely of my dual personality? To speak freely of my P-life? Without fear of people shying away or condemning! Without people discriminating me! Without having to hide who I am! Without people treating me differently and with fear! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!! Sia Chin! Sing Shia! Soon Yee! Sue Zin! Wen Chian! Where are you now? Hui Zhong! Ah San! David! Jo-Lyn! Xin Thien! Robin! Where am I now? Shin Min! Cai Hong! Jon! Geok Im! Min Ran! What am I doing here in AIMST? Xiang Bin! Max! Fansu! Ching Mun! Jason! Mun Kit! Should I have done Chemistry in UTAR? Prof. Dr. Zab! Dr. Thet! Ms. Saw! Ms. Wong! Ms. Lilian Leong! Dr. Hadi! Which path should I have taken?

I cannot let go of the past! How long more should I need? Every night, memories of the past haunts me. The night life, the traffic jam, the lights, the lifestyle, even the environment at the roadside comes to me. I felt as if I was still there. I felt as if I was strolling in the parks of Bandar Tun Razak and Amcorp Mall in the evenings while Lost World in the nights. When I went to Tupah with Ken, King Ming, Hui Ci, and Kai Liang, I felt I was taken back to Bandar Tun Razak's park of Tasik Sri Permaisuri with Sue Zin, Wen Chian, and Sing Shia, strolling under the shades of the trees. When I was in Tanjung Dawai and Pantai Merdeka, I thought of Geok Im and I walking at the periphery of the lake in Amcorp Mall's park. Tears would flow out automatically but I used a psychological tear gland inhibitor, telling myself that I should be lucky to be able to be in AIMST. However, I am cheating myself... Sadly, I am! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!