Down...

I can't believe it, tell me I'm dreaming that we are still we.

It was amazing, said you were lucky that you found me.

It was a rainy day that we met, you didn't have a place to go.

As we just met so lets go slow but no, you just told me to keep you from the cold.

Sorry I can't take it, why did you fake it, why did we kiss?...

Thursday, 15th June 2005. Today was Zen Chia's birthday and she treated us at Bayu Seaview, just next to Naza hotel. Ai Ling and Jo-Dee planned to buy her a present before going there and we went to Gurney Plaza to hunt for a present for Zen. I was sick today when I woke up from my sleep, so I could not stand the air-condition in Gurney Plaza. So after getting Zen one present, while Dee and Ai Ling went for another, I went to McDonalds to have something since I was hungry also. Then I strolled along Gurney Place. At least the temperature there comforts me. However, it was boring, so I finally ended up in MPH. I took two books with me - Pharmacotherapy Casebook and Biopharmaceutics & Pharmacokinetics, to the MPH Readers' Circle. Suddenly, the White Lady Sue Zin SMSed me asking me what is malignant hyperthermia. So, I went to look for a Medical Dictionary. I thought there was nobody there but as I approached, I saw a tall, handsome young man in black. So I could not actually SMS Sue Zin there but on my way back to the Readers' Circle, Dee and Ling called out my name and I just SMSed Sue Zin there ignoring everyone around.

We left for Bayu at 6:00 p.m. and we arrived there the earliest - at 6:16 p.m.. I called Zen but she said she had to fetch Stephenie and Wendy and she asked me to entertain everyone that came earlier than she did. Erm... actually, everyone came before she did save Chee Howe. Dee, Ai Ling and I were the earliest followed by Amah (Ching Mei), Chun Hoong, Jonathan, and Chen Seng. Jason and Janice reached before Ewe Yang, Pei Ling and Boon Peng followed by Guat Kheng and her sister, Guat Ching then Chin Chin the 'Singapore Girl', then Stella, her sister, Evan and Leroy. Finally, after more than an hour shceduled to begin, the birthday girl, Zen, arrived with Stephenie and Wendy. Zen wore a black top and light yellow-orche skirt. Glamourous she looked and if you were there, you should see how she walked. She had a new ear-rings on as well.

When the dinner kicked off, I felt as if I wanted to faint because I was really not feeling well. My whole body felt extra sensitive to the air and surroundings. I just sat beside Dee and Boon Peng. I did not really eat and I just drank. Apparently, I thought of leaving earlier and rest at home but it was Zen's 21st birthday, Zen's! Then it would be better to leave after she blew her birthday cake candles. Zen, well, we were enemies when we first met in Form 1. Then we peaced and became basic normal friends in Form 4. In Form 6, we got to know each other better. Then, after Form 6, she became one of my top circle of friends. I am so thankful to God that He sent her to me, and I am also thankful to her that I could actually say anything stupid with herand share all sorts of things, even P stuff. Thank you Zen for accepting me for who I am.

I thought I could have a phone conversation with Jean before Jean's friend from KL goes to his place to overnight for two nights which means, Jean wouldn't have time to chat with me then. I thought of calling Jean but I was afraid that Jean would ask me to hang up the phone because it is quite expensive. So I just SMSed Jean saying that I would not be home that early and asked Jean to sleep first. Jean suddenly SMSed me asking me, 'you're not online?' I replied that I'm still in CSC. Well, there were basically four groups of people there: the Hamid Khan people: Ai Ling, Jo-Dee, Guat Kheng and Guat Ching and Boon Peng joined this group. PFS 6AD: Chun Hoong, Chen Seng, Jonathan, Jason, Janice. PFS 6AD+6AC: Evan, Leroy, Stella, Amah, Steph, Wendy, Chin Chin, Chee Howe. Another is the couple Ewe Yang and Pei Ling. What a noisy night it was and the photo session was kind of a havoc.

Chee Howe brought alcohol there and many drank it. Ewe Yang saw me being quite 'steam' so he asked me whether I drank or not and I told him no. He said I look drunk and I told him I was not feeling well. When it comes to my turn to take photo with Zen, my phone rang - "sarang hae-yo... means I love you... 代表著我... 離不開你...". It was from Jean! I thought: OMG... I received Jean's call and I asked Zen to wait for a while. I thought she would be angry but her physical face appearance was cool, so it was fine to speak to Jean as I will not be able to receive Jean's call for some time later. After the photo session, we asked Zen to bring out her cake and blow the candles. Then, shortly after that, we left home. I sent Dee, Ai Ling, Steph and Wendy home and finally I reached home. I felt light. I ascended the flight of stairs to my room and felt as if i'm floating. I bathed because my hair was applied with wax and I could not possibly sleep with the wax on. After bathing, I left the bathroom and I shivered like hell. Ascending the flight of stairs this time is not of lightness but of heaviness. I shivered the whole way through to my room. Though the shiver wasn't as bad as the ones I had before but it might have shown scale three on the Ritcher Scale.

Friday 16th June 2006. I took 1g of paracetamol and one difflam lozenge at 12 a.m. and went straight away to bed. Here, I felt much better than when I was in KL. When I was sick in KL, I couldn't sleep well. My skin was totally sensitive to touch and I was shivering. I hope there was someone next to me so that the body heat would keep me warm. I set an alarm to wake me up to take the next dose at 6 a.m.. I woke up but couldn't continue to sleep so I SMSed Jean greeting good morning as I know Jean would be up by then. Jean thought I wanted Jean to call me. So Jean called. I had not the mood to speak as my throat was hurting and I had to exert quite a bit to make my voice audible so we hung up the phone. Hope Jean is not angry...

And I'm just Down...

You've left me with a note without a sound...

I've figured I must stop being such a child...

You'll never know how much I've been around...

How my heart just frowns if you're Down...

I'll be your teddy bear I'll be your cloud...

I'll take you round and round...

And if you don't mind I could be your standing ground...

Even if that means I drown...

And baby that would be my one last vow...